about introducing my mum's dog to our cat....

[AliGrylls]

We adopted a cat last year (who is a stray). She is quite skittish although very sweet. The problem is that my mum has a dog who is lovely and bouncy but everytime he comes anywhere near our house my cat runs away. The last time my mum came over she brought her dog and we did not see our cat until the next day.

My mum insists on always bringing him over and I felt really bad this time when I said to her that she couldn't bring her dog over because of the last time. I offered to compromise by saying that she should bring him over for 15 minutes and he comes in on his lead, so that we could be in full control of the situation but all she says is "he has got so much better and is so much more under control" and "the cat will always come back".

I feel a bit bad about upsetting my mum. Am I being unreasonable by saying that she can't bring her dog? Also, she does live 10 minutes drive away so it is not hard for her to get to me.

Oooooh I love the dog whisperer - he has such a presence, don't you think? I will have to find out about that introducing them. Thank you MadamDeathstare and Mutt I feel less guilty now.

YANBU. But then I think it is stupid how people insist on bringing their dogs places. If she lived a long way away and had to come overnight then maybe. If it's just for a little bit then the dog should be left at home.

YABU a bit. Your cat has a lovely life..the fact that once in a while it has to change its daily schedule does not seem unreasonable if it helps out your mum. Dogs do need to be with people more(their pack) whereas cats don't.

i don't think you are being at all unreasonable, it's your home (and your cat's) if you and your cat aren't comfortable with your mum bringing her dog into your home then you are perfectly within your rights to say so

But it must depend on why she is bringing it?

YANBU but just a little bit overprotective of your cat.
Cats are notoriously fussy about visitors. My mum's cat always moves out into the garden shed when we stay because the cat doesn't like our noisy children. The dcs do not bother the cat at all (we have a cat of our own). My parents have now ended up putting a catflap in the shed door just so the cat can have an escape route if ever she feels the need to have some time on her own.
She moves back in as soon as we disappear round the street corner. No harm done!

It doesn't hurt your cat to hang around in the garden a bit but it might hurt your mum's dog to be left alone at home while she visits you.

IMO dogs win!

YANBU. I have to tell my mum to do this becasue of our cat. She's not happy about it, even less so now we have our own dog! She doesn't seem to understand that our dog doesn't chase the cat and hers does. She comes out with the same line about how the cat will come back as well. Are you my sister?

I must admit im not the biggest fan of cats. I love my dog she is one of the family however I also know that other people dont look at her that way and I wouldnt dream of dragging her round to someones house (apart from my parents but they are just as crazy about her and would be upset if I DIDNT bring her round)
Yes dogs thrive on attention from humans but not every human. Your mother should respect your wishes and leave the dog at home.

My cat died in a road accident running away from my uncle's dog. My parents asked him not to bring it, but he did. He was then asked to leave it in the car but bought it in - the cat went mad, ran up the curtains & fled the house to be struck by a car. That was the second time he'd bought the dog - the first occassion had a similar reaction from the cat, but without the accident.

YANBU

YANBU. My cats are used to my dogs but one is very scared of other dogs so anyone visiting can't bring their dogs. It's her home and she should be able to feel safe in it.