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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why anyone would put their child forward for Mensa?

40 replies

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 30/04/2009 16:41

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8026439.stm

Pretty much all of her 'exceptional skills' are basic repetition, which means her parents are pushing her too much, not that she is a genius.

Oh it makes me angry, let her roll in mud and play with toys ffs.

OP posts:
tiggerlovestobounce · 30/04/2009 16:44

I agree with you.
That stuff isnt a sign of genius, it isnt even especially uncommon.

tiggerlovestobounce · 30/04/2009 16:44

and also, being cynical, I wonder if Mensa ever reject anyone.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 30/04/2009 16:49

hothoused?

At that age, she really doesn't care, does she? I doubt she said "mummy, I'd like to join Mensa, would you help me realise my ambition?"

And since there are no benefits to being a member, I mean, it doesn't help your life in any way, does it? - all that happens is you get to say that you are one! then all I can think is the parents just want to be able to say "our daughter is a member of Mensa".

When parents behave this way, I do feel sorry for the child, because of the pressure of expectation they are under - to be bright, to do well, to be the best, to be clever. And their self esteem can end up tied up in how well they do in tests and stuff.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 30/04/2009 16:51

They want to say 'our daughter is the youngest member of Mensa' and smile smugly. Otherwise it wouldn't be in the press. poor child, imagine growing up with that pressure.

OP posts:
Bonneville · 30/04/2009 16:51

Surely ANY child could do all this if the parents are pushy and obsessive enough? Bloody ridiculous and pointless.

MrsMellowdrummer · 30/04/2009 17:21

She is obviously a very bright child, and I very much doubt that "any child" would perform at a similar level at that age.

Prof Joan Freeman is regarded highly in the field of gifted children. However, I would seriously doubt that testing any child at that early age would yield an accurate result. And I too, would question the reasons for mensa involvement at that stage.

Horton · 30/04/2009 17:47

I'm sure she's a very clever little girl with a fantastic memory but what on earth is the point of joining Mensa, apart from bragging? I thought Mensa was set up as a way for bright people to meet their peers. I seriously doubt there are many 2 year olds in the country whose parents would be mad enough to let them join...

2rebecca · 30/04/2009 18:16

Agree, it says more about the parents desire for proxy glory than anything else. The poor sprog will have everyone telling her she's special and will wonder why she has no friends when she's older. Just let young kids play.

LadyAga · 30/04/2009 21:18

hmmmm, when MNers are always quick to frown upon judging when it comes to how people choose to raise their children. Recently there was a thread about a woman giving her 8month triplets McDonalds and overall she was given the benefit of the doubt.

Here we have an exceptionally intelligent child (IQ 155 is extraordinary) and people are quick to judge in a negative way.

The parents have identified that the child is gifted and have taken action to ensure that the child is stimulated to a suitable level. When highly intelligent children are kept in the mainstream they can fall of the tracks as they are bored.

IQ cannot be forced, you can't make someone who has an IQ of 100 increase to 155 by making them learn the capital cities.

From what I have seen they seem like diligent parents who could have as many obstacles ahead of them as a child who has learning difficulties if the child's abilties are ignored.

duchesse · 30/04/2009 21:27

Completely agree with you TDWP. I'm surprised they even take children that young.

Am still pmsl over the sweet little 8yo boy in the programme about geniuses (genii?) the other day whose parents were moaning that he no longer did anything special since he'd gone away to prep school, that he was no longer exceptional. All I could think was, good on you, kid, at least you're having fun and being a normal kid instead of being drilled 24/7 in algebra by your demented and oh so unfulfilled mama.

Kimi · 30/04/2009 21:29

I am not a pushy parent but my eldest DS had his IQ tested at the age of 11 and it was 148! He is just smart, and God knows he does not get it from me.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 30/04/2009 21:34

The MIl looked into MENSA for ds when he was 5 (don't ask ), they don't accept children until the age of 8. They do have a childrens section with work/meet ups, alot like the NAGT. Ds is 10, he's never been tested for anything like this, I've never seen the need to categorise him, whether he's bright or not he's a child and should be doing what all other children do. Children shouldn't be forced to do academia, there's enough time for them to do this if they choose when they are older. Childhood's precious, they should be playing and making friends, which is an equally important skill IMO.

heverhoney1 · 30/04/2009 21:38

The parents didnt seem that pushy and the little girl looked quite happy. I saw 1 bit of the interview where her and her dad were pointing out shapes to eachother and she said to her dad that he should point out the isoscoles (SP?) triange - he looked totally blankly at her. v.funny.

I did mensa puzzles for fun when I was younger (admitedly I was a lot older I suppose from the age of about 9-10) I am good at them. My IQ comes out fairly high, that does NOT mean I am any kind of genius far from it!! - just good at puzzles IMHO.

THe little girl appears to be learning a lot through play type activities and as long as she is happy then good on her and her family. Its only a problem if they push her too hard.

MrsGravy · 30/04/2009 21:46

I agree with Lady Aga. Just because they've had her tested for Mensa it doesn't mean they're pushy, hot housing children and she gets no time to just be a child. I mean, come on, anyone who knows 2 year olds knows that it's pretty difficult to sit them down and FORCE them to do something they don't want to do. My 2 year old knew most of the alphabet - we had a poster on the wall and he was fascinated with it.

I also agree with the poster who says that IQ testing at this age may mean nothing in the long term, my DS is already forgetting a lot of the letters he 'knew' as he's now lost interest in the poster.

I DO wonder what would motivate you to IQ test your child at this age though. What is there to gain from it?

Quattrocento · 30/04/2009 21:47

She's a beautiful child, isn't she?

I absolutely do NOT agree that this is the product of hothousing. You can't make a child innately more intelligent.

But I query the wisdom of this Mensa course of action. There are many ways of stimulating bright children and they don't all involve having photos and publicity in newspapers and on the news.

SuziSeis · 30/04/2009 21:48

i agee with the op

NO you cannot alter innate intelligence but you CAN learn how to do iq tests

i have done it myslef and hugely increased my score

much like v and nv reasoning at 11+ = learn it and you will succeed

Sassybeast · 30/04/2009 21:49

Perhaps they've done it to make sure that her IQ is properly recognised and she receives appropriate extra support at school ?

A 2 year old who knows what an isosceles triangle is sounds pretty darned clever to me

Why are we so happy to knock anyone who is good at something ?

duchesse · 30/04/2009 21:53

Oh good god, I was reading at 2! That doesn't make me any brighter than anybody else. Just interested earlier and able to deploy the required skills at that age. It really pisses me off that people equate maturity/ advancement with intelligence, particularly with regard to skills that 95% of the population will acquire in time. True genius is very much not about this type of skill.

This is precisely why I would NEVER put my children forward for Mensa although all three have been informally tested (in standardised testing at school and for entry to senior school) as being in the top 1%. Their intelligence is their concern, their gift and theirs to develop as they see fit. It is not up to me hothouse them and turn them into performing monkeys.

piscesmoon · 30/04/2009 21:53

I can't see the point of anyone belonging to Mensa. You have to pay for the tests and then you have to pay to belong.

heverhoney1 · 30/04/2009 21:53

Or curiosity? "Blimey she is clever - I wonder how clever???"

paisleyleaf · 30/04/2009 21:55

"IQ cannot be forced, you can't make someone who has an IQ of 100 increase to 155 by making them learn the capital cities".

I don't really know what's involved in a child's test
but for the adults' IQ tests, you can practice until you get good at them and increase your score.

TheCrackFox · 30/04/2009 21:59

I am sure that this little girl is very bright, but joining Mensa and going to the press about it? This is all about the parents so they can bask in the glory of it all.

SuziSeis · 30/04/2009 22:05

remember that blond curly haired boy child prodigy?

Kimi · 30/04/2009 22:09

Is he not a girl now or am I thinking of someone else?

SuziSeis · 30/04/2009 22:11

Kimi yes you are right - i knew that his life had taken a 'less than usual' turn