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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have asked next door visitor to move his car off my drive?

28 replies

lexilou · 30/04/2009 12:33

Long story short, we have had problems with our next door neighbours parking for the last year or so.
We live in a semi and these neighbours are on the unattached side of us, we have a driveway and they don't - although they have dug out part of their front garden to make a space to park their family car.
We have always got on well with them and chatted in passing.

They have 3 older children and 4 vehicles that are all parked outside our house (theirs is in a corner, difficult to explain) last year the daughter repeatedly parked partially obstructing our drive, the parents mentioned that they knew it was 'a pain'.
Dp spoke to them on 3 occasions asking them not to block our drive, this culminated in foul mouth tirade from 20 year old daughter around xmas time when dp asked her to move car that was completely obstructing our drive. I intervened and said we would have to speak to landlord (they are tenants) if situation not sorted. Parking now seems better.

Today someone visiting son next door parks on my drive right up to back of my car, I think right ok maybe he is just popping in, about 30 mins later he comes out to get his phone from car (was ironing at window not stalking carparkers) and goes back in so i open door and say 'excuse me' he says 'oh am I blocking you in?' i say 'er yes but actually you are parked on my drive' he was apologetic and moved.

My question is was ibu to ask him to move? I am off out later and did'nt know how long he would be there, but also I feel its my property and not for public use. I felt all mean asking him to move but I can't see how he may have thought it was their drive, there is a low brick wall part of the way seperating properties. I just don't want anymore bad feeling about parking.

OP posts:
Thunderduck · 30/04/2009 12:35

YANBU. I'd be furious if someone did this. I'd tell them to move it immediately.

MayorNaze · 30/04/2009 12:35

your drive. end of. can you not paint "private parking" or something on it? if you are too nice and worry about upsetting peple then they will take the piss. if they were sitting in your back garden you'd say something, wouldn't you?

MrsMcCluskey · 30/04/2009 12:37

YANBU
But he is only a lad, wouldnt dwell on it

PuppyMonkey · 30/04/2009 12:38

No you weren't being unreasonable. And it sounds like he knew he was out of order, even though it was a bit of an odd thing for him to do in the first place imho.

sweetnitanitro · 30/04/2009 12:39

YANBU. If you have a dropped kerb I think you can ask the council to paint one of those white lines across it which might make people more aware that it is a driveway. Also as MayorNaze says you could put a sign up. It is taking the piss to just park on someone else's driveway like that.

MuppetsMuggle · 30/04/2009 12:42

YANBU My mum has the same problem with her neighbours - she paid £4k for her driveway and they use it as public highway, now when my sister and I are round there that = 4 cars if both our partners come over presuming they are not with us, that = 6 and they complain to mum saying they need to resolve the situation!!

Original poster
lexilou · 30/04/2009 12:49

Thanks all
MrsMcClusky - not really dwelling just all the hassle we've had has made me doubt if we are being fair.
MayorNaze - I think they did take the piss until I threatened to take it further at xmas, just could not understand why they thought it was ok to park over our drive and now on it, when I would never do that though everyone is different of course....
MuppetsMuggle - they actually complain to people who they think have parked in their spaces on the road! We are just about to have the driveway done will be interesting when we can't park our car on it...

OP posts:
MrsMcCluskey · 30/04/2009 13:01

You are being more than fair!
CAn you put up gates at the end of your drive?

fruitbeard · 30/04/2009 13:15

YANBU!

I once came home to find a strange car parked on my drive. I looked to see if someone had left a note to say why/how long they would be, but nothing.

DD was only tiny at the time and there is NO parking on our road (we're near the shops), so I had to go a good 200 yards away and carry her and the shopping back to the house.

Rang the police (I was rather cross by this stage) and was told that apparently it is not illegal to park on a drive that doesn't belong to you, there is no law of trespass that covers this .

However, the lovely, lovely policeman I spoke to said that there was an off chance that the car's registration would be linked to a phone number on their computer system and he would check for me. Although he couldn't legally do anything, he suggested that the driver might not know that and having the police ring him might spur him to move it!

He rang back 5 mins later, laughing his head off, said they did have a number linked to the car, and he had spoken to the driver's wife at her home and told her the situtaion, she was furious with her husband and promised to call his mobile immediately and tell him to move it!

One minute later I watched as a very harrassed looking man with an estate agents' clipboard came running up the drive, got in and drove off at speed... Serve the cheeky bugger right!

One thing the police did tell me, though, was that if there's a car parked on the drive, it's actually an offence to block them in, lines or no lines - so if the OP's neighbours do that again, at least there's some redress there.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 30/04/2009 14:17

YANBU.

Don't get me started on people blocking driveways. 'White van man', British Gas vans, removal lorries and scaffolding lorries are all the worst culprits at the moment. (tis illegal if they are blocking you in but not illegal if driveway empty).

I think if you had not said anything, he would have been tempted to do it again. At least he moved it happily and didn't get defensive about it.

MammaTiggy · 30/04/2009 14:34

YANBU - this sort of thing really annoys me, it is your property and people should respect that, its just good manners.

no-one should be blocking your drive, say you needed to get out in an emergency? you were totally right to say something

BannedInternationalFlight · 30/04/2009 14:39

No, of course yanbu to ask him politely as you did, to move it.

However I suspect he may have been told it was Ok to park on your drive by your neighbours - do you reckon they might have said 'Oh park on Mrs thing's drive'? Otherwise it seems a weird thing for a random stranger to do iyswim - on his own initiative.

I'd be looking at ways to make it impossible for them to do this frankly - it's completely out of order. that you have to contend with such twunts.

MammaTiggy · 30/04/2009 14:40

i dont know your layout obviously but could you have a gate or something?

or is there anything you could do to make it more obvious its your drive, i mean could you put a little sign up with your house number or something? it might just make people think twice.

as much as it annoys me like i said, sometimes visitors have no idea, it can be unclear sometimes. do some of the visitors think it is actually a shared drive or something?

MammaTiggy · 30/04/2009 14:42

theres a lot of 'or somethings' in my post there, sorry

RumourOfAHurricane · 30/04/2009 14:47

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MammaTiggy · 30/04/2009 14:55

the trouble is the op has to live next door to these people so calling the police might well create a lot of tension and make it very difficult to live there!

wotulookinat · 30/04/2009 15:07

YANBU. If it happens again, I would get onto their landlord again. I'm presuming you have a dropped kerb.

RumourOfAHurricane · 30/04/2009 15:09

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MammaTiggy · 30/04/2009 15:11
Grin
RumourOfAHurricane · 30/04/2009 15:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BalloonSlayer · 30/04/2009 16:13

We had a young girl woman come to our house once to measure up for something we were supposed to be getting a quote for.

She said "I've just parked on your neighbour's drive, OK?"

I was gobsmacked at the rudeness. There is loads of parking on our road.

I didn't say anything though, as I KNEW she would only have been there for half an hour and I also knew the neighbours wouldn't be home. But I really wish I had done though, the cheek of it!

If I go to a friends's house I wouldn't even park on their drive unless I know them very well (unless palatial house with long driveway) - it just seems presumptuous.

Original poster
lexilou · 30/04/2009 17:49

Thanks everyone

I thought I was'nt being unreasonable, but cos they have been unreasonable about the parking situation I really began to doubt myself.

It would be possible to gate the drive but would involve extending and building walls to both sides, someone actually parking on our drive has just happened this once, the main problem is the daughter blocking our drive - her argument to this was 'well you can get 3 f*ing cars on your drive' er yeah and quite what that has to do with parking across it I never will know.

Perhaps she has drive

Fruitbeard - the bloody nerve of people, there were no cars parked down my road either! He could have parked anywhere!

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 30/04/2009 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lexilou · 30/04/2009 18:18

Madam - we are hoping she will move out soon, apparently she wants to move in with boyfriend but he does'nt want to leave his mum! She has is checkout girl at supermarket so prob not able to move out on her own.

As I type 1 of their cars and the son's work transit van are parked directly outside our window. Grrrr. But as you say public road etc etc. The eldest son is showing no signs of moving either.

When DP asked the dad to ask the DD is she would move her car the time it was totally blocking our drive he said (doubtfully) ooh I don't know you might have to ask her yourself...... [hmmm] so he did and she refused!! she has very little respect.

OP posts:
ProfYaffle · 30/04/2009 18:30

This sort of thing drives me mad (no pun intended) our drive is an odd layout, it goes at right angles to our house and people park on it/across it all the sodding time. I've even had people stand and argue that they should be able to park there!