to blame DP for this latest theft?

[motherlovebone]

in the last 12 months DP has left his wallet and all ID, bank cards etc. on a train, had his mobile nicked from work, had tools nicked from work and other minor stuff.

he has just telephoned, is on his way home, been pickpocketed on a crowded train and had £200, travelcard, ID all stolen.
got an electricity bill waiting to be paid.

my heart just lurched, i bollocked him on the phone, called him an idiot, i feel he is to blame, AIBU?

Well it does sound like he should be a bit more careful. Yanbu.

YANBU to be frustrated. I would be very very annoyed too.
Pickpockets know what they are doing though, no? He certainly seemed careless unlucky.

My sister is just like this:

• left her purse in a loo in a pub.

• got her handbag nicked after she left it on the back of a chair in a pub. When I told her that was a daft thing to do she said "But I was with loads of people"

• had her purse nicked out of her handbag in the cinema (it was on the floor)

• had her travel card nicked out of her handbag while it was over her shoulder.

She refuses to believe she needs to be more careful. So YANBU. They both need their heads knocking together!!

isn't this blaming the victim?

My DH has never lost his wallet, touch wood, and I have never lost my purse.
In my opinion, your Dh should be more vigilant so no, YANBU.

YABU - the person in the wrong is the one who stole your DPs wallet.

Looking after your belongings and making sure you take precautions so everything is safe as can be is part of being a responsible adult so YANBU

Losing his wallet to the pickpocket was unfortunate but I don't think he is to be blamed for that one. Leaving it on the train the other time, leaving his mobile/tools/minor stuff at work to be nicked - those are all very careless.

Please check with your household insurance as some of the things he had stolen today may be covered.

yes, the person in the wrong is the thief.

BUT.

We have to be realistic. There are thieves so we cannot leave stuff lying around. We must protect it. We can't say "Nobody ought to steal my stuff so I'll just leave it on that wall over there and if anything happens to it, I'm not to blame" because that's not the world we live in, and at the end of the day - we've lost out! It's our money or stuff that's gone!

We have a responsibility to understand that there are people out there who will try to take what we have, and to take the steps we can to prevent this.

And that means being careful, not displaying things, being aware of our safety, being aware of people around us and noticing anything suspicious...

In an ideal world we wouldn't have to, but we don't live in an ideal world and we cannot afford to have the attitude of "I should be able to walk down the road with my ipod in my back pocket and my mobile in one hand and a wad of cash in the other".

So I'd have to say no, you are not being unreasonable to 'blame' him, if by blame you mean you hold him responsible for not taking adequate care to secure his belongings.

Are you in London? I'm very careful but still seemed to unwillingly part with my purse about once a year when I lived there. The last time - really annoyingly - was when I was on the tube with my stuff in an evening bag from the night before (had stayed over at DH's flat - then boyfriend). Underground staff later reckoned they'd slit the strap with a razor. I lost my bag, and so did two other people - all at London Bridge, all within 20 minutes. Doubly annoying as my "everyday" bag was a sturdy across-the-body Radley bought specially to minimise the risk of precisely that happening!

And yet... my DH still insists on keeping his wallet in his back pocket, which I think is asking for trouble - even though (touch wood) it hasn't happened yet. He has been careless, but it's still not really his fault iyswim

He needs to take more care.

I think YABU to have a go at him when he's probably feeling pretty stupid already - criminals can be sneaky bleeders (it's their job, after all, if they weren't any good at it they'd probably go into sharedealing or something) - but in all honesty carrying £200 cash around in a wallet that can be easily grabbed is probably not the smartest thing in the world to do. I've worked for the police so I am probably unusually cautious, but I tend to keep the bulk of my money in an account without a cash card (transfer it into my debit card account in small amounts as and when I need it), never carry credit cards with me unless I'm shopping in which case I take the ONE I'm going to use, and never carry more than £30 cash at a time unless it's for something specific, in which case I usually keep it in an inside pocket. Not much you can do about the travelcard/ID etc but they're not going to do the thief much good either and though the inconvenience is a PITA, they're easily replaced.

Mobile phone being nicked at work - YANBU, he shouldn't have left it lying around. Tools - maybe, depends whether he has somewhere secure he can keep them (if not, maybe he should ask for lockers or something?)

How about getting him a jacket or pair of combat trousers with zippable / buttonable pockets, or a wallet chain (attach one end to wallet, other end to belt)?

He does need to take more care but shouting at him doesn't solve anything does it? It's not going to get it back? He probably feels bad enough. I would have let it go now and then have a chat with him in a few days about how he needs to be more careful.

yes, we are in London...are looking on the bright side ( didnt get punched etc. )
thanks for all replies

Had he had a bit to drink?

If so YABU.

Drunks need sympathy.

However they won't remember it, so if you want to kick him in the shins, that's okay too because he won't remember that either.