To threaten to wash 4.5 ds mouth out with soap for swearing?

[ThumbelinaTrumple]

I haven't actually done it yet and i dunno if i would. would anyone/has anyone that would be brave enough to admit it? I must say he hasn't picked up these words from me but his best friend at school. He has also picked up the lovely habit of spitting too!
AIBU?

I think you can keep mum about the swearing, he's only doing it for effect and if you get angry or give him a soap sandwich, it'll only reinforce what he's doing, irrespective of the morals of it.

Spitting is yuk. Would he respond to a TV ban or similar for a few days to stop this?

BTW, DS (about 4 at the time) turned up at our CM's one day, and in front of her extended family and other mindees, called one of her dogs a "little bugger". They said " oh Tiger Cub, where did you get THAT from", and his head turned, very slowly, and a bit more, and his little eyes locked with mine . How we laughed.

By LlamaFarmerKarmaHarmer on Wed 29-Apr-09 22:08:04
I would report you to social services if I saw you doing it. If you want your kids to grow up thinking of you as a mean-spirited cruel parent who was brutal you go ahead.

They swear. They do a lot worse too.

When my 4 year old came home from nursery saying 'god, mum, I'm pissing tired tonight...' we just collapsed with laughter.

and you would report the op to social services ??? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. When social services stopped laughing at you, what would you do next?

Abusive? Come on people, get some perspective, it's horrible, it's probably fairly ineffective, but abusive... you might want to take a look into the real world.

Waves back to KitKat

Seeker - mustard was a threat in my childhood too - hasten to add, not made by my parents and not carried out on me (I think they were a bit scared of what my Dad would do!!), but carried out on my friend whose grandparents they were (soap too). But do agree with seeker!

I still think it's abusive. There may be worse acts of abuse one could carry out, but it still qualifies imho. Abuse doesn't have to mean a battered child.

Thanks for all the advice.
BTW, I haven't done it and i never said i would!
It is an old fashioned threat that someone reminded me of, i just was curious to see what others thought i had a feeling most of you wouldn't like it.
I would never harm a hair on his head, it just embarrasses me when he does these things and i want to nip it in the bud, beacause i don't want folks thinking i'm not bringing him up properly.

I would not bother with the soap - might end up in you being called a name that you are trying to stop..... however; I think the rest of the comments calling it abusive etc are a tad harsh.

With a sensible head on - ignore it. It will stop with no reaction from you.

Thanks chippingin
Wishing i hadn't asked...........

OK chippingin. So forcing a disgusting substance into the mouth of a small and defenceless 4 yo that probably will wish to resist while you're doing it isn't abusive?

Ho hum. You live in your world. I'll live in mine.

I would threaten it, but only in the same way that I would (and do) threaten to remove various limbs or internal organs if they misbehave. So technically it is a threat I'm not prepared to carry out, but they know it is really only a joke. I do it to distract. I dare say it might sound a bit to outsiders. I'm waiting for the 'AIBU to report the mother who threatened to eviscerate her children to social services' thread...

So I make preposterous threats to distract them and make them laugh. And that's what washing a child's mouth out with soap for swearing would be IMO. Preposterous.

Doh!what the hell reaction did you expect?what a looney post

making empty vile threats is hardly an empathic way to reinforce appropriate behaviours

mustard as an alternatie?alternative what?cruel vile assault.beggars belief.yes maybe scour their skin with cif.that will teach 'em

I have a friend whose mother used to rub her gums with chilie when she swore

She effs and blinds like a good'un now

ChippingIn it is actually classed as an abusive behaviour. It comes under the heading of unreasonable chastisement.

It would be a marker of potential or actual abuse - not in isolation but would warrant further investigation. Many parents who forcibly put things into the mouths of young children as a punishment carry out other harmful actions on their children.

Yabu, you can't make an empty threat, it won't get you anywhere. The child will just learn that don't mean what you say.

Also, as others have said, this is not a good punishment. Let him see how upset it amkes you when he swears. That'll stick with him longer.

Actually, it is abusive. Foster parents near me were prosecuted and imprisoned for abusive behaviour and amongst the abusive behaviour cited was soap in mouth and chilli on tongue.

I doubt that they would have been imprisoned for this alone, but it was certainly cited in the list of abusive behaviours.

YABU.

Agree is abusive
I know of somebody whom worked residentially with children whom was disciplined for even suggesting to do this to a teenager - the teenage had just made the most awful racist comments about him...

Mustard will BURN it has been used as form of torture against POW before now.

I've caught my DD a few times eating mustard from the jar with a teaspoon so that wouldn't work for her

Yeah I think its abusive. Especially since I happen to know from experience you'd have to get the kid in a headlock and probably smash their head off the sink and taps as well while you were doing it, as well as the fact that it makes you vomit copiously when you can't help but swallow the suds.

Yeah I think its abusive. Especially since I happen to know from experience you'd have to get the kid in a headlock and probably smash their head off the sink and taps as well while you were doing it, as well as the fact that it makes you vomit copiously when you can't help but swallow the suds.

TDWP - DS is the same, he loves the stuff!

never threaten what you wont carry out - its pointless and your child will soon suss it out that whatever you say/threaten you dont mean

no i wouldnt use soap on my children - tho my mum did to me years ago

best thing to do is say you dont like the behaviour and if he continues to swear/spit/bite etc to remove from situation and if need be take away something like a fav toy/tv priv, going to park etc

YABU. He is only 4 so probably doesn't know what the words mean. Just exolain that those words are not very nice words then ignore any future swearing and he will probably stop.

When I was teaching a Y1 child reported her mother had done this to her. Social services were informed by the school and did actually take it pretty seriously. They certainly didn't laugh.

i want to nip it in the bud, beacause i don't want folks thinking i'm not bringing him up properly.

OP, this is your problem right here, not your son.
You care more about what other people think than the emotional welfare of him.
sad.
there truly are other ways of dealing with inappropriate behavior.
This is not one of them.

Child of the 1960's here who cannot use Imperial Leather to this day as Mum used to wash our mouths out for saying 'pig'. We did not know real swear words.
OP, I'm sure by now the incident has blown over and sadly children are going to swear as they hear swears everywhere.
We chose to ignore swearing when ds was younger but punished him by denial of a treat explaining that he was denied it because he had sworn. The swearing soon stopped.