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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this is completely shit and unfair??

39 replies

6inchnipples · 29/04/2009 13:45

My dp is travelling tonight to our home town where both sets of gps live. He is going because of work, leaving straight from work , in our car but is giving the cheif exec a lift. I am also doing the same journey tmrw with our 3 kids (4 , 2 and 7 mnths) he is staying with his parents tonight so they suggested he bring middle child with him.

He is now saying he can't as giving cheif exec a lift. Im bloody raging. He was saying, i suppose i could ask her, maybe she'd feel she couldn't say no, blah blah blah, then he texted me saying no he couldn't take middle child and will explain later. Im well pissed off. Its our car, its out of work time so whats the problem.

RANT RANT RANT but im fed up with his job coming first ALL the time!
AIBU???

OP posts:

shavenhaven · 29/04/2009 14:29

are you driving yourself tomorrow or having to relay on public transport?

just wondering why you are not all traveling together tonight if he is going in that direction anyway!

LoveMyGirls · 29/04/2009 14:30

Imo, it's a 1 off and it's out of work hours so hardly unprofessional but then I don't work in a sales type environment so what do I know I do think it's pathetic that he is using that unprofessional line as an excuse to not take one of his children to their grandparents so that their mum - who works hard all the time looking after them all - if he can make it even slightly easier for her then he should do it, if it wasn't for her doing more of the hard work at home he wouldn't be able to work long hours like he usually does.

It's not as if he is asking to take her to the office is it?

I know I know times are hard, credit crunch, got to keep everyone happy etc but all he has to do is say and I'm sure his boss wouldn't mind too much after all he is doing her the favour of a lift so only fair he gets a favour too imo.

Original poster

6inchnipples · 29/04/2009 14:33

mayorq i do realise this, i have had it worse, i know it could be worse, but have you never had a small disaster (burning dinner, flooding kitchen,spilling wine on carpet???) that feels like a world disaster at the time. Put in perspective i know its not a big deal but its a big deal in my day, today.

OP posts:

Original poster

6inchnipples · 29/04/2009 14:37

shaven Dp has to come back up for work tmrw, then come down at weekend.

lovemy i love your way of thinking. i like you! He actually works for a charity which makes it even more annoying, as hardly 'charitable' iyswim!!

OP posts:

Litchick · 29/04/2009 14:39

YANBU to feel fed up...but ...work is work, particularly at a time when lots are being made redundant. Sometimes I have to do stuf with my work that I'm not overly happy about but getting earache about it would onl be worse.

Original poster

6inchnipples · 29/04/2009 14:40

tess i know and understand what you are saying. i feel sorry for him too, but obviously feeling sorry for myself too, lack of sleep probably not helping.

OP posts:

Litchick · 29/04/2009 14:41

I know how you feel when you think something's going to be simple and then it's made complicated through no fault of your own. You just want to scream.
But don't.

squeaver · 29/04/2009 14:41

I agree with tess.

And it's not really about this one trip, is it?

LoveMyGirls · 29/04/2009 14:42

I feel sorry for you both, I reckon a massage is the least you need!

LoveMyGirls · 29/04/2009 14:44

Would his parents have all 3 dc's so you and dp can have lunch together and an afternoon nap?

cluelessnchaos · 29/04/2009 14:49

I would never ask this of dh, I travelled with all 3 dc from when they were tiny, it would be unprofessional of him and although it is not in work hours it is a work relationship and the lines shouldnt be blurred.

Original poster

6inchnipples · 29/04/2009 14:52

Thank you for all replies. Have decided to let it go, i know its hard for him, he works long hours (altho so do i) and having them all to myself for another night not such a big deal, i know many women do it by themselves ALL of the time. I appreciate it could be much worse and i'm probably over reacting due to possible pmt and lack of sleep.

I will get kids to bed early and put out a potty for 2 yo so hopefully will manage loo on her own if i'm busy feeding bubs. AND i might even relax with a cuppa infront of desperate housewives before retiring myself.... Feeling better already!

OP posts:

BradfordMum · 29/04/2009 14:58

Sometimes work just has to come first Im afraid.
In 1981, I got engaged to my Dh alone, as he was at the riots in Toxteth. We'd had our engagement party planned for months, but there was nothing either of us could do.
I greeted our guests with a lovely smile, but had no ring to show off!
I should have realized it was likely to happen, marrying a policeman, but I appreciate it's his career, not just his job.
He can retire in 14 months after serving 30 yes, and I have always fully supported him, even though I've hated being alone for Christmas, new yes eve, the Childrens birthdays etc.
Sometimes you just have to suck it.

piscesmoon · 29/04/2009 15:09

It is disappointing when it seems to you a practical arrangement but I agree with clueless.

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