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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit cross with DS's nursery??

30 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins · 28/04/2009 19:14

After our Tripp Trapp incident yesterday I was a bit anxious about nursery today as DS often comes home with extra bumps! I asked them to keep a close eye on him today.

I phoned twice and he was fine.

On arriving the nursery was in maddness. Babies everywhere all trying to climb on 1 small climbing frame. I counted 3 possibly 4 staff and about 15 under 3's......this can't be right can it????

He had a massive lump between his eye and nose, and they didn't know how it happened! I asked when I signed the accident book if they were under staffed today, to which they said "no just busy, really sorry". I wasn't too worried as these things happen but when we got home and into the bath I found twist like marks on his wrists.......look very red and sore.

Not a happy mummy tonight! I have a few niggles about the nursery. AIBU?? Should I wait till next week (he only goes once a week) or phone tomorrow??

OP posts:
choufleur · 28/04/2009 19:18

phone and make an appointment to speak with the manager.

i'd be a bit cross too

hotbot · 28/04/2009 19:19

go down and speak to the manager - these things are always better done face to face

amidaiwish · 28/04/2009 19:26

not acceptable. go down and talk to them. see what they say. if they seem to think it isn't a big deal then i'd find another nursery.

and i speak of a mum of 2 DDs who were in nursery from 8m old. DD1 now 5.2 so a long time!!

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 28/04/2009 19:32

Thank-you. I was half expecting a "get over it" type responce.
Does anyone know the ratios for this age group?

OP posts:
cheshirekitty · 28/04/2009 19:33

Trust your gut instincts. You must be worried to have posted on mumsnet.

Go and talk to the manager tomorrow.

macdoodle · 28/04/2009 19:34

Day nurseries
Minimum staffing ratios (this includes children of staff and volunteers)
one member of staff for every three children under two years old
one member of staff for every four children aged two years old
one member of staff for every eight children aged three to eight years old.

MrsGravy · 28/04/2009 19:35

I look after 2 year olds and the ratio is 4 children to 1 adult. IIRC, the ratio for under 1s is 3 babies to 1 adult??

macdoodle · 28/04/2009 19:36

Hope that helps I would be concerned they dont know how he got a knock to his face, not that he actually had it IYSWIM, and more concerned by grab marks on his wrists!

YANBU

Numberfour · 28/04/2009 19:40

bumps and knocks are one thing. red twist marks on the wrist?? would LOVE to hear that explain that one.

if my 4 year old came home with marks like that i would be as upset and disturbed as you.

YANBU at all.

i agree with other posts: go in and see manager.

atworknotworking · 28/04/2009 19:46

Ratios should be 1:3 for under 2's & 1:4 for 2+ I've worked in nurseries and now am a CM. I find this totally unaceptable, a) not knowing how he got the bump in the first place and b) the marks on his wrist. most nurseries have different rooms dependant on ages ie: babies under 12mths, toddlers under 2, and preschoolers 3+ and resources are available as appropriate for age / ability the equipment was obviously not being supervised properly, a member of staff should have been next to the climbing frame at all times, helping the children to use it and ensuring that they took turns in a safe manner, not on IMO. Go to the nursery asap and find out what was going on some nurseries have video cameras ask to see it if they have (their should be a time on the accident form) take pictures of the injuries if you can and take these You're not being precious, your childs safety and care is the most important thing don't take any chances.

catwalker · 28/04/2009 19:56

My two eldest children went to a local day nursery part-time. It was newly opened and looked very well equipped and staffed. When my third child was two weeks old I turned up to collect them one day (the eldest two were then 4 and 2) and was told not to bring them back. They told me that the local authority had said they couldn't continue to have part-time places. When I contacted the local authority they told me that they had carried out a spot-check and discovered that there were more children on the premises than the nursery was allowed to have. They told the owner that she had to do something about this immediately. The owner responded by immediately dropping all part-time children.

I then looked at other nurseries in the area and at one met a young girl who had worked at my children's original nursery. She said that she had left because they didn't like the way things operated. Normally, if the local authority carried out a spot-check, the manager would detain them in her office to give staff time to march the "excess" children out the back door to the local park. I persuaded her to contact the local authority and they used her as a witness to prosecute the owner. While this was going on, one of the children at the nursery was returned to its parents at the end of the day with a broken arm. The parents insisted this hadn't happened at home; the nursery insisted it must have done. I don't quite know how that one was resolved.

I always felt that my children would be safer in a nursery rather than in the care of a single childminder because nobody would do anything improper when there would be other people around. How wrong I was. There were numerous other things which, with hindsight, I wish I'd complained about. Like the fact that the children all had their post-lunch naps on plastic mats and mine, which I collected after lunch, were always drenched in sweat.

Then there was the member of staff who, after I'd expressed doubt about the food my son was eating, delighted in telling me that they hadn't given him any of another child's birthday cake (because they thought I wouldn't like it), even though my son had been really upset.

Go with your instincts.

Dottoressa · 28/04/2009 19:57

I'm another one in favour of seeing the manager. This is not acceptable!

FabulousBakerGirl · 28/04/2009 19:58

YABU to be a bit cross

You should be flipping LIVID!

Bigpants1 · 28/04/2009 20:00

I dont know the exact ratios but do know, there are very strict guidelines for ratios and age of dc that have to be adhered to.
It is not acceptable for your ds to have a massive lump-so presume it is plain to see-and for staff not to know how it happened. Yes, accidents happen, but staff are being paid to look after your ds, so should know how it happened. What did they say when you signed the accident book?
The marks on the wrists would certainly worry me-especially as they were still red and sore when you got him home. If they look like twist marks, it is possible, someone may have picked him up with only one of his arms-IYSWIM. If that is the case, it is totally inappropriate. I would take some photos of the lump and the marks on his wrist-if hes sleeping, should still be possible.
I would ring/go see the manager of the nursery tomorrow, and explain your concerns and also consider making a formal complaint.
If you have niggles about the nursery, listen to them-your gut instinct is usually right. How old is your ds-too young to tell you himself what happened?
I would also consider writing to the Care Commission,or equivalent body that inspects nurseries and tell them of your experience of the nursrey.
Lastly,if you have loud niggles, I wouldnt send your ds there anymore, unless you get satisfaction and assurance from the Manager when you speak to her.

amidaiwish · 28/04/2009 20:16

just to make sure this doesn't end up in a "nurseries are bad" thread - i have been extremely happy with the care my 2 DDs have had at nursery

juneybean · 28/04/2009 20:19

Ratio may have been correct if you're not sure how many babies there were

4 staff = 12 babies

Definitely ring tomorrow though, they should know why your little one has a mark on his face!

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 28/04/2009 21:25

Thanks again. What do you think the most likely reason for the red marks would be???

OP posts:
nannyL · 28/04/2009 21:49

the ratio of staff to babies are as above...

BUT any staff in the building count. they DONT have to be actually in the room or with the children to make the legal ratios
its madness IMO but thats how it is

Original poster
tryingtobemarypoppins · 28/04/2009 21:57

Your not being serious nannyL that's maddness

OP posts:
nannyL · 28/04/2009 22:15

no i am being completely seriouse.

yes its shocking and one of the reasons i would do my best to avoid sending my child to a nursary!...

the staff in the office or in the toilet or in another room or prepping or clearing up from an activity are all included in the ratios even if they arnt actually with the children

juneybean · 28/04/2009 22:18

Yes it's true

Red marks...do like look like a hand could have caused them....are they small (child) or large (adult) :/

juneybean · 28/04/2009 22:18

Although office staff usually aren't as they're "supernumery"

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 28/04/2009 22:24

I'd be calling social services! Red marks on the wrists are an indication of nothing good to be honest, it sounds like he's been lifted by his wrists/pulled by his wrists. Give him some ibuprofen/paracetamol as it's going to hurt, don't take him back, contact social services as quickly as you.

My son had a scab on his head for a short while until he told me what happened to him at nursery, he was three and he told me he was hit across the head by a member of staff. It took him 2 weeks to tell me.

ThingOne · 28/04/2009 22:24

I would be very concerned about them not knowing how your child was hurt. My DS2 is a crazy little monkey, climbing, jumping and rushing everywhere. We rarely go a month without an accident report. But he has never come home hurt without the explanation. And he tells us what has happened too, so they're not making it up. They should know.

Gillyan · 29/04/2009 00:46

I would be concerned, you need to speak to the manager. My DD, 3yrs had been in nursery 3 dya sa week since she was 11mths. I have only ever had to sign about 10 accidents forms in all that time and they usually draw where on her body she has been marked and why it has happened. recently they started a new system of phoning you when and accident happened. It's always usually, fell down the slide, or Owen stood on her etc.

Bumps are one thing and no-one can watch a child constantly and other kids can be mean when no-one is looking but the twisty marks sound odd. You need to feel confident with the people you are leaving you DS with and you don't sound like it.

Don't be afraid to go in and thrash it out with them and if your not happy move your child somewhere else.