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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that offering a meal to my baby is not the same as her eating it???

45 replies

sleeplessinstretford · 28/04/2009 15:04

i look after my friends little boy at the moment and so leave the house at 7.30-dh drops our baby round on his way to work (about 8.40) and i always ask him (usually in this order..)
a/what the fuck have you dressed her in today she looks like 1970's poverty stricken ireland and b/what did she have for her breakfast.
this morning he said she'd had cheese on toast with cherry tomatoes and a cup of milk that was under her pram to be finished. so,we went off to the park about 9.30-baby winged and winged and wailed all morning,nothing was making her happy.We called to the bakers to buy a loaf for lunch and she was saying 'bread and butter-bread and butter' so i gave her a slice and the wailing stopped (momentarily) we called in at my house to collect a change of clothes and there,on the work top is a slice of cheese and toast with NOTHING taken off it..so she's had one or two cherry tomatoes for breakfast...
which would explain the wailing,if i'd known she'd eaten nothing i'd have done her something when she arrived with me, i feel really tight as i'd been a bit narky with her wailing all morning to be honest.
would you say something and if so,what?

OP posts:

Dillydaydreamer · 28/04/2009 20:37

Ooops tale !

merryandmad · 28/04/2009 20:37

My dd's were at a birthday party on Sunday morning whilst I was at work. When I got back home I noticed the party dress my dd1 was wearing was age 12/18months. She is nearly 5.

My friend commented to DP her dress was a bit short. He didn't even realise it was 1/2 up her thigh.

I usually always lay my two dd's clothes out.

When she was about 6mnths old, dp dressed dd1 in a vest, pair of tights and a jogging suit top. (In his eyes it was a t-shirt, trousers and cardigan)

He is still learning, nearly 5 years on!

Dillydaydreamer · 28/04/2009 20:48

LOL I sent dd1 to nursery (3.3 and tall) in a pair of her sisters 9-12mth leggings a few months back DH had put them in her wardrobe!

onepieceofcremeegg · 28/04/2009 20:53

Some dcs only "pick" at breakfast (not mine lol). However most dcs (ime) enjoy a morning snack fairly soon after breakfast.

re the clothing I never rarely criticise my dh on here, but I must confess he (and the dds) benefit if I lay outfits out.

Original poster

sleeplessinstretford · 28/04/2009 20:55

of course she can eat with her hands-she just can't eat cereal/yoghurt/weetabix with them....
she feeds herself every meal-when she can be arsed obviously-we've worked ourselves into a lather over what to feed her when-cheese on toast is a surefire thing she'll eat (if it's an 'eating day' obviously) I just hadn't known she'd not eaten and would have retried her with something else.
the light of my life and golden sweet peach of my orchard also can't differentiate between tights and trousers/leggings... she looks like max wall a lot of the time...

OP posts:

onepieceofcremeegg · 28/04/2009 20:58

sleepless my dd2 can eat with a spoon (20 months old) but it sometimes take a while. Re cereal, I tend to serve things like shreddies type cereal or mini weetabix or those little Quaker oat crisp parcels and dampen them down with milk, she then picks them out of the bowl. I am too lazy busy in the mornings to make toast etc.

littleducks · 28/04/2009 21:00

im sure aitch will over some better suggestions but i have found bite size shredded wheat a great cereal for small finger, i just drizzle with with milk so they soften and ds tucks in, i do allow him to self feed weetabix (not runny but soften with milk) but this is very messy and dh doesnt do this as he just cant cope with the mess

the clothes thing is a bloke thing, dh can dress himself nicely but struggles with the kids, they look freaky! but tbh it doesnt matter either lay out clothes, or get stuff that matches better or ignore it

AitchTwoOh · 28/04/2009 21:07

have a look at www.babyledweaning.com for ideas, sleepless. blw babies eat with their hands from the beginning, but loads of people come to the site (it's mine) when their kids refuse spoons. basically we just tend to give whatever the adults are having (provided it's healthy-ish) and let them get stuck in, but there are loads of recipes for things that are easy to hold. and let's face it, you can't get much more baby friendly than broccoli. my seven-month-old was yomping on hers tonight.

eating days are completely normal, you do know that? best piece of advice i got was NEVER to add up food dd had eaten over one day... that if we had to tot up, we should do so over the week. you'll see, over the longer time the eating days and non-eating days even out and you can relax.

AitchTwoOh · 28/04/2009 21:08

arf, littleducks. no suggestions other than 'give her your food'.

hazeyjane · 28/04/2009 21:11

Have you tried giving her dry cereal. Dd2 hates using a spoon (unless its mine and I am feeding her!) but loves eating dry weetabix (someimes spread with greek yoghurt or jam), cheerios, shreddies etc.

I think i must be lucky with dh, he dresses our dd's way better than I do, I just put jeans and tshirts on them, but when dh dresses them I doubletake because he seems to find clothes that I didn't even know we had and they look like something out of a Carl Larsson painting. I usually let dd's dress themselves now, and they have the 'cute but bizarre look'.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/04/2009 21:32

if your dd can eat cheese on toast, then sure marmite/jam etc toast can be eaten as well

and very suprised that your dd cant feed her self soggy cereal/yogurt etc at 19mths

she may make a mess but that is how children learn

though agree often my dc wont eat between meals - they will eat breakie 8ish, lunch 12.30 and tea 4.30 - sometimes have snacks of rice cakes/fruit/odd biccy but often not

ChippingIn · 28/04/2009 22:58

There's nothing wrong with cheese on toast for breakfast. It's a lot better than sugary cereals!!

OP - YANBU you asked what she HAD for breakfast not what was made for her.

As for your post re the clothes - very LOL - I think 99% of men are the same! Leaving them out isn't enough though is it?? You virtually have to hide all other clothes!

Original poster

sleeplessinstretford · 28/04/2009 23:47

jesus-i've made her sound a bit backward heaven forfend-when she can be arsed she eats-when she can't she doesn't.
she eats well on the whole-i was deranged initially with her diet-but now eats well on the whole. i just think she needs a proper breakfast after 12 hours in bed-that's 12.full.hours.for the past 4 nights...

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 29/04/2009 00:25

I remember having dh and ds1 visit me in hospital when ds2 was born. Ds1 was in an orange and blue pyjama top and lime-green dungarees.
Dh wasn't much better!

hf128219 · 29/04/2009 00:30

Haven't got a clue really what you are talking about but:

Porridge with banana

Toast with the usual jam/marmalade

Cornflakes/Rice Crispies

SarahL2 · 29/04/2009 07:27

I know what you mean sleepless. My DS is 2.1 and while he can feed himself, breakfast tends to be "Mummy do it"

I have no idea why a spoon seems like such a foreign objcet at breakfast cause by dinner time, he's a whizz with a fork!?

Won't feed himself yoghurts either!?

Strange beings, toddlers!

Dillydaydreamer · 29/04/2009 13:42

I would try mimi weetabix, softened with milk and let her stab with the fork iyswim. If she is better with one eating implement get things she can eat with it. I also give my 13mth old just moistened cheerios/hoops and let her do it with fingers.
Nothing wrong with cheese on toast btw, just suggesting she might be bored of it if she has it lots.
Crumpets
Pancakes
toasted tea cakes
malt loaf
croissants
all good for a change from toast IME.
Fruit chopped
dd2 also loves honey porrige.

oldspeckledtam · 29/04/2009 14:20

Not unreasonable in my book.

And as for the clothes thing, I know exactly what you mean. When I was in hospital having my son, H bought DD in wearing a top aged 9-12 months. She was a fortnight off 3 at the time. It was like a crop top! Goodness knows what nursery thought...

He is also incapable of differentiating between expensive monsoon/boden for special occasions and George/primark for nursery. I do lay out clothes when it's important and I hide her very special stuff after the great 'Monsoon dress and green paint' argument of 2007.

ChippingIn · 29/04/2009 19:44

LOL the great 'Monsoon & green paint' argument of 2007!!!! I think we all have one or two of those

Original poster

sleeplessinstretford · 29/04/2009 19:50

my darling partner dresses my darling baby in pretty much anything he can lay his hands on-and uses the 'clara flies in the face of fashion and has her own je ne sais quoi...'this stretches to 'stuff that doesn't fit,stuff that is the wrong season and therefore 6 months too young-but if you shove some wooly tights under a sundress and a long sleeved top under it...' his fave hunting ground is currently rummaging in bags of things that are too badly marked for passing on to a charity shops...
we don't give her cheese on toast every day-we give her a wide variety of things for breakfast-but her spoon skills aren't good enough for her to eat porridge/cereal even if she wanted to everyday...but thanks for the suggestions everyone...i sort of know how to feed my children.

OP posts:

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