To think this woman is selfish?

[MrsWallace]

I run a gymnastics school and later in the year we are holding our own competition. We need parents to help out and there is a small half day training course this saturday for those that want to attend. One parent won't even do it! Despite the fact that she admits she isn't busy, she just doesn't want to. Yet she'll be expecting her DD to be in the competition and will happily take advantage of the stuff other volunteers do.
AIBU?

She is selfish BUT I can sympathise too...

She probably signed her kid up for the gymnastics to get rid of her so she could have some time to herself.

I know she should be community minded etc and help out but some people just aren't that way inclined - at least she's been honest and said she just can't be arsed rather than making up a load of crappy excuses

YABU. It's voluntary, no?

She might have all kinds of reasons for not doing it, none of which she is obliged to share with you.

Yes! Not every one is willing to pitch in and help out. If you have only got one parent who is not willing to take part then you are doing well! IME it is usually one parent who is willing to join in!

At the end of the day they are payig for their child to join in, some people just don't feel that they should have to pay and have to help out as well.

maybe she is shy?

YABU - our children belong to all sorts of clubs and we have a hard enough life with working, helping in the community and running them around. If any of the leaders thought this about me I would be mightily pissed off.

no the child will be there anyway as a gym class is on at the same time!

YABU. I occasionally have weekend commitments and my family get very iffy about me being away from them!

I think the important word here is "volunteers" - if she chooses not to volunteer, then that's her choice. Other parents will no doubt be "expecting" their child to be in the competition, and take advantage of the volunteers, unless you reach a stage where the competition can't go ahead because of lack of support, then YABU to moan about her choices.

I agree with all the reasons given to you by posters who think YABU!

Oh, FWIW, my children are involved in all sorts of clubs and activites. I work, am a SP etc etc. I still find time to be heavily involved in my children's main club - far more so than any other parent there. However I have no time left to help at any of the others - at all! I am quite sure some of them think I am selfish/lazy/freeloading or whatever but I am not - and I do not have to justify myself to anyone else. I do what I can do and what I am happy to do, anyone who expects more than that IBU.

YABU if she doesn't want to help then that's up to her, i'm asuming she pays for her child to attend gym class but even if she doesn't she isn't obliged to help out imo

what 2cats2many said

i hope to god you aren't bad mouthing her to other parents just because she is not doing your VOLUNTARY half day course

leave her alone and maybe consider that she is not doing it for some other reason other than that she is lazy?

I am afraid I think YABVU.

She doesnt have to if she doesnt want to and she doesnt have to tell you why.

Do you charge for children to attend your school?

I suppose if you are offering a free service and are run by volunteers it could be argued that she is being selfish. But not everyone wants to or has the time. She may have somethig else to do but doesnt want to tell you.

TBH I have not been involved in anything much for years. I did loads when my big kids were little but I dont want to anymore. I feel I have done my bit.

You are in danger of losing your customers if you make them feel guilty for not volunteering. I wouldnt appreciate it.

i think it is entirely up to her to refuse for all the reasons the PPs have said

YABU

mmm I agree with the posts - surely you don't expect all of the parents to volunteer people who do so are fab but they do this to help in effect the people who attend who don't volunteer IYSWIM. And you say

"Yet she'll be expecting her DD to be in the competition and will happily take advantage of the stuff other volunteers do."

Isn't that the point of the competition that the people who attend can compete? or am I missing the point totally

YABU, for all the reasons already mentioned, chegirl has put it all well.

agree with chegirl

nothing worse than feeling obliged to volunteer

my DH works virtually every saturday and sunday, i would struggle to find childcare for my child not competing, and if my H was off, i would wnat to spend time with him

i sincerely hope that you do not convey your disapporval to the parents

i give my time voluntarily to other organisations and have done for years so i would be very cross if iw as judged selfish for not volunteering for something i pay for my children to attend,

I assume the "women" pays for her DD to attend your gymnastics school? if so I think she is perfectly within her "right" not to do it.
Just because her DD enjoys Gymnastics doesnt mean she does and it could be that she doesnt like children, or that doesn't want to be with children whilst they leap and do the splits with very little clothing on, it can make some people feel uncomfortable.

I wouldn't do it either

nor would I be justifying myself to anybody running the club