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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

if I send my sister directions to the wrong venue?

46 replies

bohemianbint · 28/04/2009 14:18

Getting married in a couple of weeks. Sister didn't bother to return RSVP slip (replied by text just after the date), recently asked if we were looking forward to our "little party...wedding...thingy" and has just blown off my hen night for her fiance's (who she has known 8 months) auntie's 50th.

She then asked how long it would get to "Newsham Hall." This sort of sounds similar to where we're having it, but is actually about 2 hours away, here.

Would it be terrible obnoxious of me to provide directions to Newsham Hall, as requested? I did provide all the info with the invite but as it seems she just can't be arsed with any of it I'm tempted...

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 28/04/2009 19:37

lol definitly do what jennybensmum suggests

zipzap · 28/04/2009 19:57

You could provide a nice looking set of instructions to Newsham Hall. And put at the bottom (in the middle of something else that she might not bother to read, at least until too late!) '... just wondering why you want instructions to newsham hall when we are having our big actual wedding at xxx, instructions and directions to it are in the wedding invite'.

Hopefully she won't read directions through properly until she is en route and discover too late that she is going to the wrong place . And you will have given her exactly what she asked for and more besides and it will all be her fault for leaving things until the last minute and not bothering properly...

And if she is getting married next year, then if you don't want to go to her hen night/etc you can just turn everything back on her by saying that you assumed that as she didn't want to be at yours/see yours as important enough/whatever then she didn't expect you to be at hers!

Congratulations by the way and have a good wedding - with or without the sister!

Original poster

bohemianbint · 28/04/2009 19:57

I'm about to text back and say "Newsham's about 2 hours away, looks really nice though", but I'm not quite sure how to respond to the "sorry, can't do Saturday night, am going to a 50th" without sounding like a stroppy mare, any thoughts?

OP posts:

Original poster

bohemianbint · 28/04/2009 19:59

LetThemEatCake - that's so her attitude as well.

OP posts:

Lizzylou · 28/04/2009 20:02

"OOh, a 50th, sounds rocking"

MadamDeathstare · 28/04/2009 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitbit · 28/04/2009 21:02

Tell her it's fancy dress. Tell her everyone is coming as an item of fruit or veg. Insist she will win the competition if she wears this

DarrellRivers · 28/04/2009 21:06

Is she your younger sister? Am chuckling at zipzap's suggestion

Original poster

bohemianbint · 28/04/2009 21:20

ooops, stupid new phone. Am not entirely sure what it sent before I was ready, but it was something like this:

"Oh well, enjoy x's auntie's 50th, at least you'll be there on the day, unless you go to Newsham, in which case you might be a bit lonely..."

I was in the middle of editing the damn thing and pressed the wrong button, and for some reason it's not even stored in my sent box so I can't see what I have actually done. Feck.

OP posts:

DarrellRivers · 28/04/2009 21:23

Did it get sent?
If not in sent box, you may have killed it
Send a second one to make sure

Original poster

bohemianbint · 28/04/2009 21:28

I think it went, I dunno if my sent box is full so not storing any more? Oh god.

Is it really bad, do you think, or can I style this out?

OP posts:

Original poster

bohemianbint · 28/04/2009 21:29

(Darrell - yes younger sister, quite a bit!)

OP posts:

Original poster

bohemianbint · 29/04/2009 09:11

Well, she texted back, I don't think she thought I was being arsey! She's still going to the 50th though.

Well, at least I know where I stand with her, I don't think I'll be putting myself out for her anytime soon.

OP posts:

GrapefruitMoon · 29/04/2009 09:20

Re the RSVP thing, I wouldn't have expected close family (ie parents and siblings) to RSVP (in fact it felt a bit odd sending them an invite though I did anyway) - I would have assumed they were coming unless they had a very good reason not to which they would have told us about - guess it might be different if you are not close/in regular contact with these people.

Original poster

bohemianbint · 01/05/2009 10:38

I'm really trying not to let it bother me, but I woke up irked this morning and I wish I could rise above it.

OP posts:

Stayingsunnygirl · 01/05/2009 11:07

I think you've every right to be irked, bohemianbint. I'd be tempted to tell her directly that you are upset by her decision to choose this party over your wedding - might that help you draw a line under it, and enjoy your wedding?

I hope you have a lovely day and a happy life!

Original poster

bohemianbint · 01/05/2009 13:22

Thank you Stayingsunny. I've thought about it, but I rarely see her these days and would have to call her especially to tell her, and to be honest I don't think I'd want her to come now that she's made it clear where her priorities are.

I'm just trying to focus on the lovely friends I have who are coming, but it's a bit bittersweet when I know that my family care less than my friends do.

OP posts:

Gorionine · 01/05/2009 13:30

zipzap, you are evil!

That is the type of thing I would do!

DarrellRivers · 01/05/2009 17:51

BB, I think one day this will all come home to roost for your little sister.
I'm a believer in karma, and until then, you need to raise your eyebrows internally, share with friends but generally rise above her unintentional rubbishness
Sending much sympathies

Stayingsunnygirl · 01/05/2009 17:54

I've just tried to raise my eyebrows internally, DarrellRivers, but I think I just looked constipated.....

Jux · 01/05/2009 18:09

I would get itup on Google maps, then get it to give directions, print it off and send it to her. At the bottom of the page I would write, btw check invite for wedding venue address.

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