To be upset and cross with territorial Beavers leader?

[greatwhiteshark]

We home educate. One of the reasons is so that our children can detach from us in their own time, as they are emotionally ready to do so. DD1 (nearly 6) has been desperate to join something like Beavers for ages, so I signed her up and we went along last week. She was very shy at first, and clung to me, but I sat down with her in the 'dam' (much to Fox's obvious annoyance!) and before half the session was over, she was joining in fine.

I asked Seal (Fox's husband) if I could continue staying a few more sessions - even offered to make drinks or something as someone on here suggested to me a while back - and he said Fox might not like it 'cos she's quite territorial.

So Fox rang me last night to say that I can't stay because of insurance and CRB checks and I need to just leave DD1 crying . We've left it that I'll come in and stay until she's settled and not tell her I'm planning to leave (DD1 will not join in if I warn her I'm going to do this!) but say I've just got to pop outside with the baby and will wait for her to finish once she's joining in. I've told Fox I'll do this for a couple of weeks and see how it goes.

But I'm really cross about this. I know DD1, and I'm not asking to stay because I'm overprotective, but because I know that forcing her to stay without me will be counterproductive - it will cause a huge backwards step in her bid for independence so if this compromise plan doesn't work, then it'll mean DD1 doesn't do Beavers!

So AIBU to be annoyed about this? (I'm sure some people will say I am, but desperately hoping at least a few will agree with me and understand where I'm coming from!)

Next step is to research the rather more sympathetic woodcraft folk in case Beavers doesn't work out!

only read the op, but you are being unreasonable.
the entire scouts movement, is about making children independendant useful members of society. and to acheive this, they havve a tried and tested method of working. you seem to want to go into a group that is working well, change everything to suit yourself and your dc, completely ignoring the needs of the other children, and the group, because of your percieved needs. if i was the group leader, i wouldnt even give someone as disruptive as you the time of day, let alone all the concessions she is quite obviously giving you.
either try another group, or start up your own.

Hello. Have you managed to find a solution? I'm with you I'm afraid many people (for example, the Beaver leader) still don't understand about the importance of attachment & how to help children become emotionally healthy (and instead try to force independence before a child is ready), which as you say can backfire. Fortunately for me, my daughter attends a Rainbow pack which encourages parents to stay for how ever long it takes (in my case about 3 weeks) for a child to find their own feet & she went from being clingy to showing the confidence we see at home. Yes of course regular helpers need CRB checks, but a parent who is not left unsupervised and is helping their child settle in should not. I am also in the process of setting up a Woodcraft group and would recommend you do look into that if there is a local group. They will also welcome your help. Best wishes.