to feel out of control cos the milk pan boiled over

[messymissy]

having a crap day.

wanted to do stuff needed to do today, but stopped doing cos worried about the fall out from DP.

let the milk pan boil over just now - why the hell am i boiling milk when just found out dc cant have milk?

want to cry and feel stupid that I want to.

been on line all morning looking up legal and benefit information - feel crap about that too, especially as have not been playing with dc or doing the housework etc.

need a ray of sunshine or a slap in the face, don't know which!

life sucks at the moment.

feel incapable of making any sensible decisions.

maybe i am depressed rather than very very very pissed off.

not really an aibu thread i guess. maybe i need an am i being a self pitying idiot thread instead.

What's happening with DP?

Why can't the DCs have milk?

((((Unmumsnetty hug))))

I once felt I couldn't cope when all my nappies had velcroed themselves together in one big tangled pile. You'd have thought the world had ended I sat on the floor next to the washing machine and bawled my eyes out!

You have a good cry then just find a teeny decision to make, like shall I take baby to the park.

What is the fallout with dp thing? Is that whats under everything making you feel stupid and useless?

DP is a selfish 5 year old trapped in a mans body who would go ape shit if i did something without his permission.

maybe lactose intolerant so no milk for a while to see if symptoms improve.

thanks for hug.

thanks flibberty - sitting here crying now. feel stupid and useless.

put pooh bear on video so dd doesnt see me.

Write a list of everything you have achieved today and add the things that have to be done, for example: cook dinner and put kids to bed. It can help organise your mind a little and help you focus a bit better. Does that make sense? I find it helps enormously

will try alicecrail.

feels i've done nothing so far today. come up with blanks. got to make some huge decision s and its making me scared.

will take dd out this afternoon and get some air.

So you are in fact 'crying over spilt milk'?

No good will come of it.

Is that the sort of slap in the face you were looking for?

Well hopefully the symptoms will go away and that will be one less worry.

(I have a DC with a severe milk allergy so know what an arseache cutting out dairy is. There is a lot of help and advice on the allergies board.)

As for DP - are you still together?

Can you tell us what the decisions are if you need someone to sort of talk it through with?

Oh no I'm going to have to give you a ((((((((hug))))))) too

Oh yeah and EVERY time I boil (rice)milk it boils over. Bastard stuff.

Do you have any fish oil capsules and vitamin B supplements in the house? This is one of those times when your nerves need help. The milk boiling over was just the straw. You sound exhausted and ground down by things. The sun will start to shine again soon for you. How do you feel about going for a long walk to clear your head? Often works for me when I'm feeling like this.

Can I ask why you are boiling milk? What do you do with boiled milk, I don't think I have ever needed to boil any in a pan.

Well I boil it for porridge, or hot chocolate or for creating that special glaze for my hob that's so stylish and distinctive . . . I call it the "OH shit the farking milk!" glaze.

hahaha snice - yes i am!

i guess yes its a good slap!!

yes am hoping milk thing temporary as its in so much = hope your DC ok Balloonslayer.

yes still together, we live in the same house but have very seperate lives, don't even sleep in same room.

under lots of pressure to leave - only told a few people about whats going on - all tell me i should leave. even the police. but stupid stupid stupid me wants to make it better. want the happy family i thought i was going to get. realising that i can;t fix the unfixable and dreading the fall out when i do leave.

police just rang me now. burst into tears. feel a prat.

Oh my goodness you should NOT feel like a prat for crying if you are in the situation where the police are involved in your relationship!

Where are all those nice ladies who know about womens aid and things, you need to ring them and they will help you to leave.

Don't dread the fall out of you going, it can't be any worse than how you are living now. And staying is unlikely to make things better.

boiling milk for a cheese sauce for the pasta for lunch.

Feel bad about teasing you now

i know. they are calling me back to do a risk assessment - standard procedure i guess.

guess i am crying in grief for the terminal illness that is our relationship. and not wanting to face up to being a single parent and having to explain things one day to dd and having to answer questions like why doesn;t daddy live with us etc etc.

too busy worrying about the future to handle the present i guess.

dont feel bad - you made me laugh for the first time in ages. nice snice!

Phew - am relieved not to have put my foot in it then. Hope your day improves a little - my is on the way downhill as I have to go and clean out a fishtank

aw no need to feel silly crying over boiled over milk.

Have a big

I hope life improves for you very soon

I'm not sure of your situation, but if you are trying to get out of a controlling relationship atm i wonder if any of the practical and supportive advice on here may help?

Thanks everyone.

just got off the phone from the police - asking all sorts of questions. Its hard to take when complete strangers say you should leave - the police want me to leave - things have been bad but i've not been seriously injured, i guess they want to make sure it stays that way.

as stupid as this sounds, i'd like just one person to tell me its going to be ok, stay, stick with it it will get better. but they never do. just raise eyebrows and look at me as if i am miss stupid from the planet stupid for even contemplating it.

so i am left with the question - why do i still love him?

Do women only find the strength to move on when all love has died.

sorry, what a waste of time.

Not a waste of time at all.

The problem with violent and abusive men is that they do not change - ever. So you are right to grieve for your relationship because it is gone, and you have a new future to plan for yourself and your DD.

I would start a new thread in Relationships asking for help how to move on emotionally, there are loads of women on here who have been through it and come out the other side smiling.

Trouble is, if you've been in a situation where you have been hurt (you say not seriously hurt so I am assuming you have been hurt physically?) and you are worrying how he will react to everything... then no, no-one who cares for you one bit will tell you to stay and that things will get better. Because it won't.

I got out of an abusive relationship. No they don't just find the strength to move on when all love has died, we (and I was there once) find the strength to leave when something inside us says we deserve better.

You do deserve better. If there is anything at all to work on and improve in the relationship then you can do it after you've gone and after he's had the shock of realising that you are not putting up with it any more. You will never improve things if you stay where you are because by staying you are letting him know that you are accepting it all.

If you can't do it for yourself then do it for your dd.

If the police are telling you to leave then ask them to give you the numbers for womens aid or some other professional helpers that can support you and let you just talk to them about it all.

Is your dp due back tonight - is he at work and you are at home worrying what he will be like when he comes home?

Thanks Ali and flibberty.

went over to my mums for the rest of the day. felt better, plied with tea and biscuits and dd running around creating havoc! felt much better.

I will post a new thread in relationships. thanks. it just got on top of me yesterday and i needed to let it out.