To not accept a time-out?

[SingleMum01]

Hi, I'm new to this, so here goes! My son was smacked in the face on 2 occasions at his schools after school club last week. The first time the boy denied it, although he was put in a time-out. The second time the boy admitted it, I presume 'cos there was a mark on my son's face and he couldn't deny it. He was again put in a time-out. What should I expect the school to do about it? Is a time-out a reasonable discipline for deliberate smacking? The boy has verbally been mean before making my son miserable but this is the first physical attack.

Would appreciate others opinions.

Thanks.

Singlemum how old is your son and the other boy?

They are both 6.

I would be annoyed too - it makes me wild when somebody hurts one of my boys. But are you sure the time-out is the only action that has been taken? Is it possible the boy's parents have been spoken to and he is being watched more closly by the staff?

What would you like them to do, ideally?

If the child is school age I doubt time out is not the most effective punishment (am I right in thinking better for toddler age?)

If he's done it twice he at least needs to do some explaining and someone needs to talk to him about why he thinks it's acceptable.
If it happens again I would hope the parents are notified but that's just my view

They told the son's mum on the 2nd occasion (I don't know about the first) as we walked into the playground together to collect them and they told us both together. I have asked one of the helpers to keep an eye on them both tomorrow.

I don't really know what I expect the school today, however, I feel if it continues there should be more supervision especially as I'm paying for aftercare - I expect my son to be safe.

As you can tell, I'm still mad about it.

I know how you feel, I take it for granted that the after school club will keep my boys safe and not allow any bullying.

But they haven't done nothing - they are communicating with you and his mum and are trying to control his behaviour.

I would just be on their backs a leetle bit for a while, let everyone involved know that you are aware of this child's behaviour.

I hope they do manage to stamp this behaviour out, it must be horrible for you and ds

Yeh, I wasn't too concerned the first time, more so that the boy had lied and said he hadn't done it. Although the aftercare people, although they hadn't witnessed it, did believe my son. Reading their expressions I think they know what the other boy is like and what my boy is like. But when it happened again, I was horrified.

Anyway, see what happens tomorrow.

Thanks for all your posts, this is a great support site. I'll keep you all informed.

Hi, just an update on what happened today at school. I collected my son from afterschool and he'd been playing happily with the boy who hit him last week! Apparently, the boy punched another boy my son's best friend) on a different day and had been told he would be sent to the deputy head if it happened again - maybe that did the trick.

My son says the boy is nice to him if its just the 2 of them, so maybe the boy feels he has to be top dog and centre of attention (I don't think he gets much attention at home).

Fingers crossed all stays okay. However, I'm sceptical and will see what happens.

I hope I don't sound like an overprotective mother - I just want a happy child.

No you don't sound overprotective, none of us want our children to be bullied or hurt while in the care of others, it's very worrying when it happens.

Glad to hear things have settled down between your ds and this boy, and that the boy has been properly warned - hopefully that will be the end of the hitting.