to not want my mum to go on a girls night out with myself and friends?

[shavenhaven]

dont get me wrong i love her to bits and dont want to hurt her feelings in anyway but when i mentioned to my sister today about a crowd of us going to see a show she mentioned that she would like to come.

there will be around 10 of us and my mum does not know any of them plus it will be the first time we will all have been out together in months and i want to let my hair down without having to worry about what my mum thinks (am happily married so want be on the pull or anything)

am i being a right cow?

cant see how i can get out of this without either having to hurt her feelings or taking her out for the night with a bunch of people half her age who i really cant see her getting on with!

Say

'they are a bit mad andloud but I thought it would be nice for us to go just together another time and maybe something to eat too?'

NO NO NO

You are NOT being unreasonable.

You need to explain that you love her loads, but this is a meeting with friends, and her presence will change the dynamic and you just want a normal evening with friends. She must recognise that. It is very unfair to you to expect her to come.

Would it work to phone her to let her know she should wear something suitable for clubbing because you're planning on going on somewhere? Would that put her off?

sorry i wont be on the pull

I think it depends on the show - if its michael ball sings andrew lloyd webber then she's probably fine to go .

thanks for the replies, feel better now about being a bitch to her.

i think it might encourage her ever more if i say we are going clubbing after

she seems to be going through a bit of a mid-life crisis just now (joinging a gym, borrowing my clothes etc) tink i might just have to be truthfull.

its the lady boys of bangcok (sp?)

Keep her well away.

My mum went through a smilar mid-life crisis and it was scarey.

The full horror for me was when i was shopping with her and she started picking up slutty mcslutty underwear to try on - my eyes! Something a daughter really never needs to see.

i had the same thing a few weeks ago traceybath!

she was taking my dad away for the weekend and showed me what she had bought in ann summers.

I think dragging your mum along isn't fair on your friends. I really wouldn't be impressed if a night out with my friends turned into a pensioners tea party, even if she's not a pensioner yet there's still a generational difference and I don't think dragging your mum along is any more acceptable as friend behaviour than dragging your teenage daughter along.
Tell your mum it's a night our with your friends, and suggest she goes to see it with hers.

Not unreasonable not to want her there but then perhaps not a good idea to talk about a social event infront of someone you don't intend on inviting?

no she is not drawing her pension yet but is still 20 years older than the oldest in the group.

i did not say we were "going to a show" when i talked to my sister, i did say exactly what it was.

I'd either tell her no, it's a group of friends getting together, or just not mention it to her again. I really think inviting her would be inappropriate, none of my friends have ever dragged their mums along to anything other than hen nights.
In future you'll have to keep all plans to yourself by the sound of things. It does sound as though your mum needs some friends or a boyfriend or something (assuming she's not married as it seems strange for a married woman to not ask her husband/ partner first. I can't imagine my mum choosing to go somewhere with me rather than my dad.

YANBU. But you will have to handle it delicately when you exlpain that you don't want her to go along.

TBH I might feel uncomfortable takng anyone along to a girls night out when everyone else knew each other and she didn't know anyone - you might have to babysit any new friend joining a group.

I don't see why you should have to be delicate. It's a night out with your friends, I think if mum doesn't get that when you say that to her then she's the one being thick skinned not you. If my daughter when she's older mentioned she was going out somewhere and I said I'd like to go and she said "sorry mum I'm going with a group of friends" that would be fine. If she does get upset this might be a good time to mention that she does seem to be going through a bit of a mid life crisis and you find some of her behaviour a bit strange, and is she getting afraid of getting old or something that she's wanting to borrow your clothes and go out with you and your friends.