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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a few days off work sick?

49 replies

pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:07

I have horrendous morning sickness. In case for some strange reason some of you might have missed my constant moaning about it.

I am hardly keeping anything down. I have lost a little weight, I feel constantly sick and am sick about 3-4 times a day. I am holding one small meal down, if I am lucky. I had a break of a few days about 10 days ago when I felt better but it came back with force.

My job is demanding. Emotionally. And physically I am having to work until 9pm two evenings a week, and then start work the following morning at 8:3am latest (ideally 8am). I have to be on the ball in my job, due to the nature of it. I can't just slope off to be sick, and by 6pm I am so exhausted I fall in to bed atm.

Last week, out of 2 evenings, I only managed one, and the next day I was even more sick and struggled into work, late. I am struggling to cope with my hours, I am struggling to not be sick within earshot of colleagues in the loo and I am struggling to do my work.

On the other hand, my current role cannot be filled immediately by another colleague. I can be done so/or postponed/put back but immediately it will mean letting people down, in particular my clients.

Now, I told my manager I was not sure I could manage this a few weeks ago and she said 'see how it goes' and on thursday a colleague and I both said it needs sorting. But it won't get sorted immediately and I can't wait for my boss to sort it.

I have acupuncture on tuesday, and I am hoping it will ease the morning sickness.
IABU to ask my Dr for a few days off to get some strength back/wait for acupuncture to work/get work stuff sorted, or should I just go in given I am 'pregnant not sick' (as people like to remind me).

OP posts:
Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:08

Oh and I could not sort it last week even though I knew then that I really could not do my job and get cover as my boss was not available all week, until tomorrow.

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 26/04/2009 19:09

I'm not even going to read your OP first, before I say, 'take a few days off, you soppy mare!' You really are having a rough time of it.

moondog · 26/04/2009 19:10

Why do you need to justify yourself to a crowd of strangers?

If you're not well you're not well.
If you're skiving you're skiving.
Other people's opinion makes no difference.

Leedsmum2b · 26/04/2009 19:10

YANBU. You and the baby come first. Do whatever you need to do. Hope you feel better soon.

Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:12

Thanks Mo appreciate that. I have sort of decided, but it is going to through a spanner in the works for a lot of people, so I do not want to do it lightly and feel terribly guilty.

I am going to have several managers, a few colleagues and a ton of clients who are going to feel the fallout of me being pathetic with this second pg. I am sure it was not this hard last time

OP posts:
Grendle · 26/04/2009 19:13

YANBU. You are pregnant, but you are also definitely sick. Morning sickness can be hell. If you feel so ill you can't function effectively at work then you need to be off sick.

Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:13

Moondog - I guess I am trying to appease my guilt a little by other people confirming what I think I already know.

Oh, and I cannot survive without MN, its like a modern version of the Dice Man for me.

OP posts:
heverhoney1 · 26/04/2009 19:14

Just because it is pregnancy related it does NOT mean that you are not sick. I am now 39 weeks and my biggest regret so far is that I did not stand up to my boss earlier and admit that I could not just carry on as usual. I feel it has really affected how I see the pregnancy.

brettgirl2 · 26/04/2009 19:14

Being pathetic?????

I somehow doubt it, MS is completely awful. I had quite a few days off work with it.

Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:15

grendle and leedsmum - i can't even manage effectively at home. My bedroom is now my 'pit' and poor DH mostly eats and spends his evenings alone, after running around after me

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 26/04/2009 19:15

Look, you are going to make yourself even worse, if you push on. Then you really will inconvenience people. Harsh as it may seem, no-one is indispensible, including you. The world will not fall apart, if you are not at your job in the morning. (We have a Prime Minister to do that for us!) YOU, will fall apart, if you don't take some time out and get yourself better. You seem to think this is a short term problem, so get some acupuncture and I hope things improve for you.

If you're loosing weight love, you are not looking after yourself or your baby.

heverhoney1 · 26/04/2009 19:16

You will worry and worry about colleagues and clients and it will be to the expense of both your physical and mental health. You will also come to realise that you will recieve no more thanks for being that way than if you just give up and let the others handle it!

frasersmummy · 26/04/2009 19:17

pavlov ... you have my complete sympathy.. I was so sick nearly all the way through my pregnancy

Its exhausting being sick all the time, its exhausting looking after a child and its exhausting being pregnant.. and you I presume from your last post are doing all 3

pregnancy might not be an illness but bloody horrid morning sickness sure is!!

Take whatever time you need off work and get some well earned rest. They are going to have to get used to you not being around for a while anyway

Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:17

brettgirl I do feel a bit pathetic, I feel as though I should be able to 'soldier on' a bit better than I am this time. I feel very sorry for myself, and self pity is not very becoming

OP posts:
muppetgirl · 26/04/2009 19:19

a friend of mine had a bout 3 weeks off work due to morning sickness. She had to stop the car to throw up it got so bad! She is a secondary science teacher in a tough school who couldn;t leave her classroom. She was fed up with being sick in the waste paper basket and her sinks.

yes, you aren't 'sick' but you have something that is severely limiting your ability to do your job and should rest if that helps (or even if it doesn't) the stress of you worrying and feeling gulity can't be doing you any good either.

It will be tough, but the company really won;t fall apart without you and people/collegues will have to cope.

nickytwotimes · 26/04/2009 19:20

You are genuinely ill.
You cannot function like this.
Have a few days off and rest.

Hope you feel better soon.

Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:21

Mo - thats what I needed, a bit of a Mo moment! .

OP posts:
Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:25

I have stopped driving in case I puke while driving!

OP posts:
beakysmum · 26/04/2009 19:29

Definately take time off sick.

I hate this "you are pregnant not sick" line.

Well some of us are pregant AND sick, OK?! (I should know!!!)

How sick do you think you have to be before you can have time off?! And why is work more important than your unborn child?

And..... yu'll almost certainly be less sick once you have a few days (or weeks, don't be ashamed) off, because IME severity of sickness is often tiredness related.

There, got that off my chest . Hope you feel better soon

Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:34

beakysmum - yes it is defintely tiredness related. I had a friend have DD overnight last night, and I went to bed at 10pm, got up at 9:30am, and feel soo much better, I was sick twice, but it was not so violent, but right now I have a bit of temp

OP posts:
brettgirl2 · 26/04/2009 19:35

Work was fairly simple for me really with MS - reading and travelling made me heave. Guess what I spend all day doing when at work? What was quite funny is that I was having the odd day off and behaving quite strangely when at work. I told my boss about my pg when I was 8 weeks (because it was clearly affecting my ability to work) and he was really relieved - I think he thought that I was seriously ill or having some kind of breakdown.

Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 19:51

brettgirl - some of my colleagues know in case they thought I was a) seriously ill due to time off and constant sickness, hush hush meetings with me boss or b) under the influence of drugs or alcohol due to constant sickness, bloodshot very tired eyes, blotchy face, generally looking 'hungover' .

OP posts:
jumpyjan · 26/04/2009 19:52

Sounds terrible. I would not hesitate in going to docs first thing tomorrow and getting signed off for a week to see how you feel then. If you are well rested the sickness may ease and tiredness does make it worse (I found).

You are only pregnant for a few months and I don't see why you should pretend everything is normal when it is not. Give youself a break and get signed off.

jumpyjan · 26/04/2009 19:55

Also you are not pathetic and do not feel guilty!

Original poster
pavlovthepregnantcat · 26/04/2009 20:10

I think I will text my colleague first thing in the morning to let her know. I would do it now but I don't want her to stress for the rest of her day off and she can't do anything about it this evening. If I tell her first thing, she has until about 3pm to get the manager to sort something out.

OP posts: