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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DP he can't come around here anymore if he can't respect my home??

22 replies

Tourniquet · 26/04/2009 18:30

DP stayed at my house last night. This morning he got up early and then came back to bed 10 minutes later, I could hear him chuckling to himself but I was tired so just ignored him.

Anyway I got up a while later, went to toilet to see that DP had fired handwash ALL OVER THE BATHROOM. It's in one of those squirty bottles and the blue liquid was everywhere. All over the toilet, all over the mirror, the tiles, the shower curtain ...

Ok so it washes off easy but that's not the point, surely? So I went and asked him why he'd made such a mess and he couldn't speak to me through laughing. The night before he knocked over a glass of red wine and instead of rushing to clean it up or apologise, he was just sat on the sofa pissing himself.

I am thinking of telling him not to bother coming around here again but that will more than likely begin a slow death to he relationship. Should I say something or let it go?

OP posts:
spicemonster · 26/04/2009 18:35

Is he 13?

Original poster
Tourniquet · 26/04/2009 18:35

28 believe it or not. This is the first time he's done anything like this.

OP posts:
AnguaVonUberwald · 26/04/2009 18:35

Either this is a joke, or why do you want to be in a relationship with him?

Original poster
Tourniquet · 26/04/2009 18:35

With me anyway.

OP posts:
AnguaVonUberwald · 26/04/2009 18:36

Sorry, cross posts, has anything suddenly changed? Is he taking you for granted? Has he started taking drugs?

Original poster
Tourniquet · 26/04/2009 18:36

Sorry, crossed post.

It's not a joke but I can see why you'd think it was.

This is the first time he's done anything like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tourniquet · 26/04/2009 18:37

crossed post again!

I don't think anything has changed other than that we're seeing each other more.

He's usually very respectful and caring. I have no idea where this has come from he just thinks its a big joke.

OP posts:
Morloth · 26/04/2009 18:51

So not on, you need to tell him this NOW, especially if you think this is going to be a long term thing.

Going only on what you have posted he sounds like a complete moron, I would think DH had lost his mind if he did anything like that. Hell DS is 4 and knows to clean up his own messes.

valleysprincess · 26/04/2009 18:52

Sounds like he was on the wacky baccy

MrsMattie · 26/04/2009 18:54

What strange behaviour. What could he possibly find funny about making a huge mess of your bathroom? Either he is hideously immature or unhinged.

spicemonster · 26/04/2009 18:59

Surely he can't have been stoned this morning. Hmm - I think you need to have a chat and if he laughs, then not let him come round again. I mean, really, if that is the death of the relationship, are you going to be sad?

kitbit · 26/04/2009 18:59

er yes, very funny. Perhaps to a 7 year old boy. Can't even see the humour in it in a "you've been framed" kind of way.

He's being a complete nob. I'm not usually first to jump in and yell "yeah dump him!" but I¡d seriously be questioning whether I wanted to be with someone that juvenile if he thought making a huge mess (twice) and letting me clear it up (twice) was funny.

Numberfour · 26/04/2009 19:03

first thoughts are that he is trying to be a prick (and succeeding) so that you will dump him.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 26/04/2009 19:09

also think he's wants you to dump him

or you've pissed him off and he's passive aggressing you cos he lacks the emotional language to have a conversation

emmmz1980 · 26/04/2009 19:11

how very disrespectful.

Numberfour · 26/04/2009 19:29

there is NOTHING funny about what he did.

get rid

the writing is on the wall.

sorry...... believe me, i have had worse and i have tolerated worse, always believing and hoping for the best.

there are men around who do not behave like pathetic limp pricks.

ChippingIn · 28/04/2009 02:22

I was with a bloke once who was a knob like this. We stayed at my parents holiday house which they keep it immaculate, it's annoying something you have to accept if you want to stay there - you have to clean it to the nth degree when you leave.... so I was cleaning away and he was pissing about getting ready to go but wouldn't do any cleaning, when I said to him we can't leave it like this (sand on the floor etc), he said I can, just because your Mum wants it pristine doesn't mean I have to clean it, this is clean enough for me, if she doesn't like it, she can do it herself'.

What you have written about your DP makes him sound just like this twat, our relationship was soon over (he was like this with my stuff as well, didn't matter how he treat it as it wasn't his).

MadamDeathstare · 28/04/2009 02:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rumdontbotherreplyingmum · 28/04/2009 07:52

my thoughts were he's being really imature and hasn't got the bottle to finish with you so he wants you to do it.... he's giving you the reasons...

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 28/04/2009 09:39

Generally relationships tend to move towards living togther. A partner being incredibly messy/dirty/lazy can put an impossible amount of pressure on a relationship, not to mention make the cleaner partner very miserable. If he thinks that sort of thing is funny - what would he be like if you lived together?
Get rid.

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 28/04/2009 09:44

Oh bin him. I am a slob so wouldn't care about the mess myself, but the idea of deliberately making a mess then laughing at you is pretty unpleasant. Don;t waste time worrying about why - there;s only one answer. He does it because he's an arse.

Nekabu · 28/04/2009 09:59

Tourniquet, who cleaned up both times?

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