to be upset by friend's text about dinner?

[curlygal]

I've invited two friends round for dinner this evening. In the invite I said we'd aim to eat at 8ish.

Just got a text from my friend saying that she would need to leave by 9. She said she was tired and that her DP was going out when she got back.

AIBU to feel upset? Background: I am a single parent and my evenings are pretty lonely and boring so was really looking forward to having some company, have mentioned specifically to this friend that I am feeling down and lonely at the moment.

I invited them round thinking they would come round 7ish, we'd eat 8ish, then chat etc and that they'd be here for a couple of hours at least, now I feel underpressure to serve up dinner as fast as possible so she can get home.

Am feeling at bit tearful about it which I know is an over reaction, but just feel as if the evening I;ve planned and spent ages preparing food for is crap and not worth spending time with me

Have a nice time - and relax!

at dinner. Sounds lovely

Oh yes me too, I would proabably outstay my welcome

Hope you have a nice time, unwind with another glass of wine after she has gone. Not quite the same, but still.

Good point FAQ!

tHINK SHE IS A MUMSNETTER TOO SO ACTUALLY V LIKELY (OR THAT SHE WILL READ THIS THREAD OOOPS!)

[SMILE]

i AM GOING TO TRY TO CHILL OUT

tHANKS AGAIN MUMSNETTERS ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU WHEN YOU NEED THAT WEE BIT OF REASSURANCE !

Maybe she is really tiered with being pregnant? I am pg and knackered the now, i don't think i could handle being out after 9 at the moment.

I agree it is rude! I know sometimes I make arrangements in advance and then on the day, I'm knackered and don't really feel like doing anything. If someone was expecting me for dinner though I would still be making the effort. Is it the DP that is the problem though. All of a sudden she HAS to be home as HE is going out....?

Where do you live? I will come round and stay for hours and hours and hours, Gray's Anatomy + Wine + Dinner sounds like my perfect evening.

I can picture myself saying something similar if anyone invited me out to be honest! Not that I'm horrid and antisocial, but if DP had plans to go out at 9 I'd feel obliged to get back so he could go out - what a mug I am!

let us know how it went...

has she gone?

I reckon her husband has just put pressure on her to be back by such and such a time so he can go out.

Honestly, I'd rather be single! (which I am!).

How did it go?? Did she stay a bit longer?

I'm in the "it's rude, thoughtless and selfish" camp, especially as it's been arranged for a month and she knows your situation. Update us please!

I'm in the "it's rude, thoughtless and selfish" camp, especially as it's been arranged for a month and she knows your situation. Update us please!

Hope you're having a nice evening

I also think it sounds like this is down to your friend's DP, who has probably just decided that he wants to go out and has said 'well, you don't have to be out too long, dinner won't take all night will it?' and guilted her into leaving early. Now really she ought to say too bad, this has been arranged for ages and I want a proper night out - but it doesn't always seem that easy.

I do think she's being unreasonable but if she is a good friend usually, I would maybe let her off this just once. If it happens again, though, you might need to discuss it with her.

I would also happily come round and stay all night for dinner and DVDs! You will have to start a dinner club.

If she's got a toddler and is pg then maybe she just crashes by 9:30. I certainly did when pg - in which case would need to leave by 9:00.

Anyway, hope you had a nice evening.

How did dinner go?

Hope it went OK.

Can understand both sides. When I was pregnant there is no way I could have stayed up later than 9 especially when she has a toddler to get up for in the am so can't lie in and catch up on sleep then.

Can also understand you being upset when it has been arranged for ages - I would be too.

What I don't understand is why both friends have to come together. If I needed to leave early i would get there under my own steam so I could leave when I needed to rather than dragging the other friend away when I needed to leave. it wouldn't have been such a big deal if one friend stayed later would it?

Hope you enjoyed it anyway

Hi Everyone

Thanks for all your responses.

I put on my smile and was chatty and breezy so it went fine.

She literally shot out the door at nine on the dot!

When she aplogised for having to leave so early I just made a joke about next time I'd just do her a takeaway I didn;t say "oh no it;s fine" like I usually do.

Evening was too short as barely enough time to eat and chat in time scale.

Oh well, was still nice to have some company albeit for a v short period.

Did your other friend have to go to then I think I would have been tempted to ask her why her DH's plans come first when she arranged this before he made plans to go out.