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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think P over-reacted??

55 replies

LumpyChump · 24/04/2009 19:03

My P announced two days ago that he is going camping this weekend. Fair enough don't mind at all, he's been before (albeit I never have nights away from P or DCs).

He asked me last night if I wouldn't mind getting his stuff together. Also OK, I don't mind, usually get his stuff ready.

This morning, on his way out of the door for work he asked me to get him a new sleeping bag and, if "cheap enough", a new tent.

We are skint and really don't have the money to buy expensive camping equipment at the moment.

So I went to a local large supermarket and bought him a camping set which contains, a tent, a sleeping bag, an inflatable pillow and a roll out sleeping mat, all for £19.99.

Bargain I thought, he doesn't go camping often (once a year maybe but this year is going to Glastonbury too). It would be anything amazing but for a few nights would do fine.

I told him about it over the phone, he didn't sound impressed.

Anyway, I've been helping my parents move house all day and rushed home after picking DCs up from school to get all his stuff ready, bought him loads of food to take too. Everything was ironed, folded, ready to go.

So P gets home, sees the camping set and examines it thoroughly, making some huffing noises whilst doing so.

Said "I wanted a sleeping bag with a hood", "the sleeping mat is going to be like cardboard", "it's lowest of the low grade equipment", "it's bargain basement stuff".

Really keeping on, so we had a bit of a row. He said "f*ck this" in front of DD who copied exactly what he said.

AIBU to feel I am taken for granted slightly??

OP posts:
daisydora · 24/04/2009 19:29

I'd have taken the tent pole and stuck it up his ar*e. What an ungrateful prick.

BTW YANBU

mankymummy · 24/04/2009 19:30

daisy... in a nutshell, you have the solution.

Juxal · 24/04/2009 19:30

I'd have taken the tent pegs out of the kit and thrown them away.

LumpyChump · 24/04/2009 19:47

Some great ideas ladies, I'll have to remember!!

OP posts:
wolfnipplechips · 24/04/2009 19:51

YANBU what a pig although i am rather that you get his stuff ready for him.

Love the barbie sleeping bag idea.

oldraver · 24/04/2009 19:57

Does he usually treat you in this manner ??

LoveMyGirls · 24/04/2009 20:07

I'd changed the locks and make him sleep in the tent long term.

LumpyChump · 24/04/2009 20:10

Oldraver - umm yeah pretty much. Although he always apologises .......

Like he just rang and said "sorry I sounded ungrateful, but it is cheap and nasty love".

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 24/04/2009 20:14

I wouldn't accept the apology it was disgusting behaviour and totally uncalled for after the effort you had gone to! It's not ncie for your dd to have to grow up listening to that and for her to see you treated that way when all you had done was helped him.

BottySpottom · 24/04/2009 20:18

This is your partner, not your child, right? Either way I would put him on the naughty step because he sounds juvenile.

MadamDeathstare · 24/04/2009 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MuffinBaker · 24/04/2009 20:39

He will carry on treating you like this if you let him.

Enjoy the peace.

MrsMcCluskey · 24/04/2009 20:41

You buy it all for him?
You pack his favourite food?
You iron all his clothes ready to take?
Sorry, but if you treat him like a child he will behave like a child.
Oh he did.

Strawbezza · 25/04/2009 00:43

MrsMcCluskey is right.

echt · 25/04/2009 09:55

Tell him to fuck right off.

Er...why does ANYONE iron clothes for camping?

Read the post again. YABU - MrsC is right.
As ye sow, so shall ye reap - as the bible says.

Sorry, God-botherers called today, so under in the influence.

NotPlayingAnyMore · 25/04/2009 10:07

YANBU. Here's hoping he steps out of his tent door right into a cow pat this morning

QSthevampireslayer · 25/04/2009 10:13

Look, I think it is time you take a stand. You are NOT his slave, or dogsbody. Or are you?

Use this as a perfect example to say. "Honey, I wont do your shopping again, I am not getting it right, it is much better you do it yourself, then at least you get what you want."

And STICK to it. It will be hard to start with, but he will soon get the message. Let him sort himself out. If he go camping, he get his stuff together himselves, including snacks, clothing, gear. It is HIM going camping, not you, and you have your own stuff to do.

missyhissey · 25/04/2009 10:13

Oh good grief, he's treating you like a servant, pure and simple.

How dare he demand that you go out and buy him all new camping equipment and also get all his stuff ready aswell and then moan and whinge that it's not up to his precise standards

This is one thread where I can't wait for dittany to turn up

TippytheTipsyTurkeychick · 25/04/2009 10:14

Blimey, what a twonk
YANBU at all. Plus, an apology with a "but" in it is not an apology at all.
Well enough for him that he has a partner to stay at home while he camps, goes to festivals etc to get things ready, clear up after him and worry about money. I hope you make some time and funds available for you and your children to have some fun too.
Anyhow, a real man would have whittled a tent from dock leaves and started a fire with his chest hair. "I wanted a hood".Meh.

MadamDeathstare · 25/04/2009 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

beanieb · 25/04/2009 18:22

You sound like my work mate, whos husband has gone on a stag do this weekend. She ordered his 'pimp suit' online, she went to buy his beer and snacks, she packed his bag, she took endless calls in work from him asking where this was and that was... the list goes on.

It amazes me that people actually do this.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 25/04/2009 18:55

The first thing you need to arrange is some free time for yourself when he gets back. ANd don't 'ask' him if he can look after the chldren and the domestic tasks, tell him that you are going out/away. That it's YOUR TURN.

summerbird · 25/04/2009 19:04

and how come you never get nights away from him and the DC's but he goes on last minute camping trips AND gets to go to Glastonbury without you?

YANBU however you need to make a bit of a stand here and demand that you get some 'girl' time with your mates.

warthog · 25/04/2009 19:08

my child wouldn't speak to me like that, let alone a partner. and my child would help me to do all that work too. you're letting him treat you like a servant.

_

when he gets back, no more!

purpleduck · 25/04/2009 19:16

Agree with QS