to feel let down by sister - sorry long...

[letdown]

Dh and I are have arranged a weekend away - the first for four years and my sisters agreed to look after our two dc's.

This week one of my sisters announced that she was picking up the puppy she was waiting for two days before she arrived and would be bringing it with her. I was already worried about leaving our dc's for the weekend - one of them has autism and can be quite challenging - and I worry that introducing a puppy into the situation will tip the balance. I feel that the puppy will need supervising and that my sister can't supervise the dog and my ds.

My other sister is pregnant which is why I asked them both if they would do the caring. I didn't want my ds kicking off and my pregnant sister having to cope with him. What's more my other child is a bit fearful of dogs and I feel I want to be around to help her realise that dogs are ok.

I have just told my sister that bringing the dog is a no no unless we are here to help her introduce it. She's now being really frosty with me. DH is going mad as he too was really looking forward to us having a weekend away. I feel tired, let down and really disappointed - we can't even arrange one weekend away in four years without it being tainted by bad feeling. Sorry just feeling desperate and needed to vent.

I would feel the same way as you, sometimes you just want things to be easy without another 'issue' making it more difficult. Especially as you are anxious about leaving your DC's.

I would say, ride out the frostiness, yanbu and your Dsis should have thought about this before agreeing to pick up the dog 2 days, before she has her nephew and niece for the first time in 4 years.

Can she not just pick the dog up after she has looked after your Dc? She probably hadn't considered your Dc before agreeing to it and is frosty because she realises that she should have!

I asked my sister if she could delay getting the puppy for a week and in fairness she did go back to the breeder but the breeder had a holiday booked.

My sister is now talking about being forced to put the puppy in kennels which I feel awful about. It's only just leaving its mother fgs.

I feel trapped in the middle and want to say forget it. However I know how desperate dh and I are for this break and we have already paid for the hotel and can't get our money back (under 14 days.)

Why is life so damn hard ?

I'd let them deal with the kids and the puppy there are 2 of them and they have chosen to do this, obviously you know your children best and if it really will have a bad effect on your ds then I do understand but how do you know how it will affect him until it's tried, it could be the best thing ever? If your sister thinks about ehr dog as my sister thinks about hers then it's her baby and she doesn't get why I don't think it's as important as my dd's iyswim?

Sadly no dh's to help out. I'm going with my gut feeling that having a very new puppy and two children to care for is a bad idea.

Am thinking of a plan B. Thanks for your responses - just having a vent has helped. Plus my dd has just come in and climbed on my knee for a cuddle - an instant feel better factor!

Thanks guys.x

I think your two sisters together should be able to handle a puppy and two children- it's not really that challenging, surely?

I would go and enjoy yourselves. After your sister gives birth she probably won't be in a position to help you out again- make the most of it

Do you have a room you could shut the puppy in? A puppy might not be as worrying to your lo as a full-grown dog? Are you going somewhere where you could maybe come back early if it all started going pear-shaped, or maybe still go but leave later and come home earlier? Lots of questions but it seems a shame that you will lose your much needed weekend.

I agree that your two sisters should be able to handle the puppy and the kids together. If they are crate training the puppy it will be in the crate most of the day anyways which would be the perfect way for your DCs to get used to and over any puppy fears.

Go enjoy yourself - the break will do you a world of good!

I wouldn't be able to go if it was me.