To be feeling retrospectively angry with BOTH my brothers...

[specialmagiclady]

.. who have failed to do anything about my children's birthdays.

Not a card, certainly not a present, even late. Even after I had a conversation with my brother's wife AFTER the events about what would have been appropriate presents to bring when we saw them a couple of weeks later, nothing.

In fact, one of them phoned on the day and I said "have you rung to say Happy Birthday to your nephew" and he said "er.... yes!" in the manner of one who had no idea it was said day and had in fact phoned about something else entirely.

We don't live near each other, I make a lot of effort to make sure that my kids know who my brothers are, who their kids are etc etc. We don't see each other often but my kids are always told who they're seeing and who they are when we do.

I just think a card twice a year (doesn't have to be on time, even) would be a nice gesture to say "I remember who you are".

My DSs birthdays were in Feb and end of March, I've just seen one of my brothers (and discussed them bringing presents for the boys and given suggestions etc etc) and NOTHING

It's my birthday soon and I know I'm going to get the "Happy Birthday Sis - sorry, forgot to send you anything" phonecall, which is fine.

But not fine for my kids. They are 4 and 2 FFS and soon they will start to notice that their uncle on the other side bothers and they don't.

Blimey that was a rant!

rise above it, I send my DBs kids birth gifts, birthday and christmas presents, photos of their cousins (my DC) once a year, mine get nothing. we also get no thank you call/letters. I do it becuase I want to, not to get things back, but sometimes I do wish they would bother with a card

Oh yeah - I send stuff for the same reason. I just think it would be nice if they could at least APPEAR to give a shit!

I'm much more pissed off with the married one who has child of his own than with single one.

Still, might mention it when they phone and apologise for missing my birthday. But will try not to cry like a girl. Perhaps they don't know what's expected.

I sometimes(actually often) think that the whole birthday and christmas business relies on women. Men (generally speaking) just do not seem to get it and think it's nothing to do with them to have to remember or buy or send anything. Even for members of their own family.

is just the way some people are. Not worth getting upset over.

You are not alone. Ds1's 3rd birthday is next Tuesday. My parents have told me they haven't got round to buying (let alone posting) a card or present yet (birthdays and Christmas catch them out every year ), MIL has said she isn't going to get him anything as he has more than enough things, and my brother and BIL won't remember or send anything (or for my birthday a few days later).

I think that's why I'm so hacked off. My brother and his wife REALLY DO Christmas and birthdays. I've spent Christmas with her family and it's a torrent of little, thoughtful presents, nicely wrapped etc.

So he knows better.