to think it's absolutely disgusting that this woman tried to feed to MY baby food she had just spat out of her mouth

[mummygirl]

I'm SO cross, especially as I was made to feel I'm weird.

This woman and I meet at the park occassionally and the kids pay together, we're both english living abroad, so we thought we'd have things in common, but it's not the case. She's not a bad person, but I can't stand her very low hygiene standards. She showers once a week, and you can tell, her feet stink even inside her shoes, her breath is constantly emetic and someone needs to talk to her about Rexona. She doesn't brush her kids teeth, as she's too scared they'll swallow toothpaste (they're now 2 and 5 and have never had their teeth brushed! -oldets has two fillings already) and I know that she brishes her teeth once a day -when I told her that we're supposed to do them after every meal she said she thinks it's a bit over-the-top when people do them both mornignand evening, but after every meal was beyond comprehension.

Some time after this mouth hygiene convo, my 3 year old was trying to share her bagel-type thingy (just a bit chewier) with her little friend, but couldn't break it. So this lady took it, put half of it in her mouth, bit it in half, gave it a good lick, and then gave my daughter the piece she spat out!!!!!!! I was lost for words!!!! I was so gobsmacked that I said nothing as I watched my baby eat the regurgitated bun. I wanted to puke. I would NEVER give to my baby something that has been in my mouth, and if I did, well, she's MY baby. You can't feed other people's children from your mouth. And when I tried to politely say that we probably shouldn't do that (I said crap like "oh, they're only little, god knows what we adults might carry and be dealing with it just fine, but the kids could get ill, blablabla"), she looked DOWN on me and I was told that if I let my children witness such uptight behaviour they'll never learn to share!!!!

That's fine by me, because I don't want my children to share their sweat, bodily odours, saliva and germs! (at least not for several years yet)

We left our meeting in good terms, noone mentioned the incident again, but I don't think I'll be meeting her again.

SO AIBU?

PS: sorry for the waffle, my blood is boiling

It couldn't have bothered you that much or you would have removed it before your DD could eat it.

that is disgusting! im with the op on this .Has no one heard about strepticocus? , it causes strep throut and menengitis FFS! most adults carry it in their throuts and it causes no harm, but if its a nasty unnessesary risk if its transmited to another vunerable person..("alien" germs cause more harm, as theres no immune already there, unlike germs transmited from mother to child).Ex-mil tried that with my first born, thank god i caught her ,once she understood why i went mental at her she admited if she's known about the health risk to dd(then 6 mths)she'd never have tried it.Is different for own kids as because you breastfeed you pass immunity(and bacteria/germs) so they wont get sick the same way a "strange" child could.

there are obvious health risks to such behaviour, but I also think that to a certain extend what is "gross" can be learned.
I find caterpillars disgusting, but I know there's nothing wrong with them, so I have never showed me emotions to my children as I don't want them to grow up feeling the way I do. I have even had to accept one as a present from my then 2 year old ds, and I smiled and held it before I put it back on the tree. My skin is crawling as I'm telling the story.

I recently found out that my mum finds all bugs and insect gross... that's probably a lot to do with my irrational fear, but I won't do it to my children!

But I think there's a clear line between irrational fears and health risks. That's why guidelines exist.

ooh yuk i would of told her not to do that right away if any one did that to my dd yuk yuk yuk

I don't think you two are likely to become close friends; it is really only living overseas that has brought you together. Unless you're concerned about having English speaking friends for your dc to help maintain their English, I think you can just let it fizzle out.