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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder if mumsnet is a haven for very well off and slightly blinkered individuals.....?

254 replies

preparetobeflayed · 23/04/2009 11:17

Obviously I have changed my name on this thread as I am prepared for the onslaught.....

Threads about Boden, how sad they are that their jumper from Boden has been pilling, 'oh woe is me my nanny has called in sick', 'I am hard up now the tax band has increased (although I am still earning £170,000....

Where are the rest of the population who reflect most of the parents I meet. I also wonder whether some people are able to look around and see what else is happening in the world....?

(Just having a bit of a rant about some of the other threads I guess......

OP posts:
fourkids · 23/04/2009 14:09

maybe the opposite of inverted is verted?

MillyR · 23/04/2009 14:09

I actually like to hear people saying what is great about their lives. It cheers me up when people saying they love being a SAHM/WOHM or love where they live or their house or town or the number of children they have and explain why they love those things. I find it valuable to understand more about what makes people happy. It is very clear from MN that having huge sums of money does not always make people happy.

What I do find worrying is the competitive 'my job as a SAHM/nurse/admin worker/ shop worker/banker/butcher/ baker/candlestick maker is harder and less well rewarded than anyone in any other role can possibly have experienced' line of argument. I think that is awful and feel that with some jobs it is down to lack of decent unions; if they had a proper channel for their resentment they wouldn't feel as much need to blame everyone else for being overpaid and underworked. It is one thing to moan about your lot in life and quite another to claim you are having a uniquely difficult time. I think MN helps with that because the diversity of backgrounds allows us to see beyond our own, often narrow experiences.

I do think Boden girls' clothes are gaudy and uniform in appearance and the quality of Boden clothes declined years ago when they moved production away from Ireland and into developing countries, so YANBU on that one.

MorrisZapp · 23/04/2009 14:17

YABU

What pagwatch said.

thedolly · 23/04/2009 14:28

elliott - you don't have to mock yourself, I'm sure there are plenty of others on MN willing to do that for you

I don't think 'I'm middle class but I talk to people on MN who are working class' equals a truly diverse social circle.

There is a certain class of MNetter who has strong well thought out opinions that they can put across succinctly. They may or may not be 'blinkered' in their approach, it doesn't bother me either way. That's the sort of class that I'm interested in.

fourkids · 23/04/2009 14:34

also, YABU - just because these conversations aren't they ones you have with your friends ("Where are the rest of the population who reflect most of the parents I meet") doesn't mean that everyone lives in the same 'world' as you iyswim. (Obviously I know we do actually all live in the same world [grin})

In MY world we do talk about our new clothes, or when the next local Boden sale is, or whether we've booked next year's skiing holiday yet, or whether it might rain at the weekend, or our childcare issues, or how extortionate the price of new tyres for a particular car is, or how we'd rather not pay more tax if we didn't have to because the world's going down the toilet, as well wider world issues...

What I'm saying is that those conversations do reflect some/most of the parents I meet so I'm happy for them to go on...I don't wish to talk about the implications of the tax rises on the cost of a can of Special Brew or how much 20 Embassy Number 6 cost these days, or how hard it is to build a 80th scale replica of St Pauls with broken matches, or which is the best value eye-liner available on the high street, but I don't mind at all if someone else does

BoysAreLikeDogs · 23/04/2009 14:39

By Walkingwiththighosaurs on Thu 23-Apr-09 11:37:25
I had not even heard of Boden until I came on Mumsnet, certainly never bought anything from them. Shop at Tesco but seriously thinking of shopping at Aldi or Lidl. Live in average sized house, earn average wages. Not skint (yet!)but certainly not rolling in it. There are some of us about OP as for a Nanny why an earth would I want one of those! I did not have a child to palm off on someone else.

at palming off a child to a nanny - a bit judgey, no?

Tortington · 23/04/2009 14:41

if i could have afording a nanny - i would have palmed mine off

BoysAreLikeDogs · 23/04/2009 14:42

custy

Peachy · 23/04/2009 14:48

Oik creds- tick!

Although 'No, I don't think private school fees and insurance on your third car is AT ALL in the same universe as having to decide whether to buy decent food or put the heating on for a few hours in the winter. It's laughable to call these "money worries". It's greed, pure and simple. '

Hmm, not necessarily

Thinkin about twat ex boss who got himself sacked- his wife didn't enjoy being forced to sell up, the kids didnt deserve to lose their schoolplaces friendships...... those last months of trying to manage for her were horrendous, even though it was never a dispute that they would eat, find a home somewhere or pay the council tax.

Rhubarb · 23/04/2009 14:48

Yes, Mumsnet is mc. It's bound to be, I don't know why but you don't usually get the single mum with 10 kids by different fathers living on benefits on Mumsnet. I'm sure they'd get a lovely welcome if they did!

Mumsnet can be very condesending at times. So text speak for example, is immediately jumped on. As is bad spelling and/or punctuation. And you do get the odd ones who think that being on benefits means scrounging. This isn't the whole of Mumsnet, but unfortunately the ones with the loudest voices.

And tbh, the whole of the UK can seemed pretty blinkered at times. But I usually find Mumsnetters to be well informed on world events and fairly well opinionated too. Even the ones who have nannies.

MarmadukeScarlet · 23/04/2009 14:48

What is a 'private school bubble'? Would somebody in the know please enlighten me?

Peachy · 23/04/2009 14:51

'don't wish to talk about the implications of the tax rises on the cost of a can of Special Brew or how much 20 Embassy Number 6 cost these days,'

Absolutely that is what W/C parents talk about in the main

Bizarre

OP MN has always had mroe higher incomes represented than the wider society but that is changing and heck, it's not a closed group so if people fom all sectors wish to post they should. There have always been poor people here- i've been here since year dot for a start.

Rhubarb · 23/04/2009 14:52
wantsanonymity · 23/04/2009 14:57

Have namechanged due to slight embarrassment...

private school bubble: my first boyfriend, who might have been one of the first boys I knew due to my nice girls school education, lived on the nearby council estate and his dad worked at Boots (where they made stuff, as oppose to in a shop). For this reason I though he was a pharmacist. It hadn't even occurred to me that there were people that swept the floor in the soap factory, and I had no concept of different housing or class etc thus I didn't take any clues from where he lived. His mum didn't half laugh at me when i first talked about his job as a pharmacist

Niecie · 23/04/2009 14:59

Peachy - I think Fourkids was trying to create the same sort of characterture for the WC as the OP did for the MC. I don't think she really thinks that is what the WC talk about. Maybe I am being naive though?

I heart MN - it is the only place I know where the class war is still alive and well.

fourkids · 23/04/2009 15:04

Peachy,

'don't wish to talk about the implications of the tax rises on the cost of a can of Special Brew or how much 20 Embassy Number 6 cost these days. Absolutely that is what W/C parents talk about in the main'

You know i put that in very deliberately. If people want to argue a point they'll pick just the bits that they think back up their point of view, rather than making an all-round argument.

2 things:
I never said anything about MC or WC - you did. I never even made veiled reference.
And how come you thought I was talking about class in any way? are making models out of matchsticks or discussing eye-liner class issues.

Jeez, why is everyone so class obsessed. there is nothing wrong with earning a fat wage or earning a slimmer one - as long as it is done honestly and decently. If people were less hung up on criticizing people that are different to them, the world would be a better place.

fourkids · 23/04/2009 15:06

Niecie, Fourkids was! X-posted with you

MorrisZapp · 23/04/2009 15:07

Niecie - exactly.

If higher earners have to be classified as talking about Boden and nannies, then special brew and cheap fags can be the stereotype of choice for lower earners.

BlingDreaming · 23/04/2009 15:12

Well, I am currently bemoaning the fact that the £100 shoes I bought don't fit properly and I'm bitter. Perhaps I should just be grateful I can afford £100 shoes - but my very sore toes are pretty much the single biggest thing in my mind right now.

Does that make me blinkered?

Peachy · 23/04/2009 15:18

Admittedly used WC as shorthand as I had to rush out door (sp-eediest schoolrun ever- tick! LOL)

I'vemissed a few sarcasms / deliberate comments today.Must need mroe sleep , sorry

Peachy · 23/04/2009 15:19

(And if you read my post lower down you'll note I was defending rights of better off peolpe to have money woprries etc so equally not guilty of being blinkered / biased etc)

fourkids · 23/04/2009 15:22

Peachy

fourkids · 23/04/2009 15:27

actually Peachy, sorry , didn't mean to sound harsh at all.

The whole thing makes me a bit huffy tbh (not you - the whole vibe around this stuff) - sometimes I feel that I am expected in some way to be apologetic for being educated and hard-working and having chosen a career that keeps me comfortable (mostly) which feels very unfair because I don't have anything against anyone who happened to choose the career path that suited them that doesn't necessarily keep them comfortable. I'm just glad I'm happy and glad if they are happy!

Peachy · 23/04/2009 15:30

I think you are probably going to get slated for saying hard working LOL! As there are many educated hardworking people on a lower income; there are simply less well paying jobs out there than hardworking educated people ultimately.

For every career minded person needing aback up team of childcare etc there are those individuals working ahrd to provide that in low paid jobs.

I don't have an issue with decent salaries- when DH and I are both finally qualified I expect to be in that group, and will employ a Nanny no doubt- I just think also that I will be happy to pay a tax rate that reflects my additional disposable income.

BitOfFun · 23/04/2009 15:33

I love reading the nanny threads - they are hilarious and add greatly to my enjoyment of the place, so YABU!