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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I judged. I am curious to know how the always impressive Mumsnet anti-judgers are going to excuse this one...

88 replies

DuffyFluckling · 22/04/2009 09:36

At the swimming pool. Woman and friend plus ds of about 4 and dd of about 2. Children having a lovely time. Every once in a while one or other of the children would turn a delicate shade of green and the mother or friend would hoik them over to the side of the pool where they would be copiously sick in the bushes. Child would sit quietly for a few minutes, before leaping back into the pool and continuing having lots of fun.

Now surely, either
(a) the children have a tummy bug, in which case take them home before my children and everyone elses get it, thanks.
or (b) the children have some sort of non-contageous, long standing allergy or something, in which case be more organised than to let them vomit in the bushes by the pool where everyone is playing.

Can I judge in horror? Or is there a perfectly uderstandable and reasonable explanation for this?

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 22/04/2009 14:38

Barbie you think

"Do you want me to name the countries in which the maids come from??? "

Helps to convince anybody of your non-racist tendencies?????

MmeLindt · 22/04/2009 14:39

I don't think Barbie's posts are racist or offensive. When you move to a different country you find that some of the things that we take for granted as being the "norm" or "the done thing" is not the norm in that country.

In some cultures spitting is not seen as dirty or disgusting.

DH was in Russia on business and the business partner thought nothing about drinking so much that he fell asleep on the table then vomited out of the car window on the way home.

Saying that some of the maids are not from England is not racist. She did not suggest that she felt that they were in any way inferior to herself.

DSM · 22/04/2009 14:40

Barbie - I'm sorry, but you are without a doubt not the most 'un racist person' I will ever meet.

'were the people in question of an ethnic race' - We're all an 'ethnic race', fool.
'it seems to me that they dont find anything offessive' - 'They'? Grouping all people from the UAE together.. hmm..

Its not about where the maids come from, its the fact you said they are not from 'England'. The UK isn't just England. Or are some of them Scottish, Irish and Welsh? Do they too think that things you would find horrifying, acceptable?

Seriously, racist comments. Really.

pointydog · 22/04/2009 14:41

AN outdoor pool?

dh was in the swimmin gpool with the dds once. SUddenly, a lifeguard called 'everyone out! Jobby in teh pool!'

Everyone got out, sat on teh edge of the pool, watched the offending faeces being netted, then went back in! Including dh and the dds.

What sort of idiot would go back in

wickerman · 22/04/2009 14:42

YA totally NBU

That is completely repellent.
Please say you complained loudly to the staff.

SlartyBartFast · 22/04/2009 14:43

so this thread is now about judge a poster??
barbie.

we are judging the woman at the swimming pool remember

pagwatch · 22/04/2009 14:44

at pointy

We were about to get in the pool on hols and a little girl said @mind the bit of pooh overthere" we stopped in our tracks and headed back to the beach as she called after us "...its only a little bit and its right over there".

we were not convinced not least because of the whole iceberg thing.

No one else got out

ComeOVeneer · 22/04/2009 14:46

Of course the maids aren't from England, they wouldn't put up with the low salaries!

CatBumFace · 22/04/2009 14:49

i reserve my right to judge anyone, anyplace, anywhere.

i really can't imagine any culture where bilious children boaking near a swimming pool is a social norm. yes spitting, yes copious drinking but not this. it is weird to try and suggest it.

ChocFridgeCake · 22/04/2009 14:55

Errrrm, let's try... Maybe the DCs had eaten a big lunch and the swimming pool trip was a surprise, and the big lunch caused them to be sick due to.. what is it? I don't know, but you're not meant to eat a lot before swimming due to risk of vomiting.

Anyway, maybe they didn't have a bug, or an allergy, it was simply... regurgitation! No quarantine necessary! That's it!!

pagwatch · 22/04/2009 14:57

Ok - I am going to try here

My DS2 has ASD and one of his symptoms is that he can and will vomit if he wants to when over excited.... so.... perhaps children in question both have this ASD symptom and are therefore not at all infectious and ....

Any good?

nah. Thought not. But I tried

pointydog · 22/04/2009 15:00

har har @ pag's poo

If there was a bit of poo in a pool, can you not just imagine everyone standing staring at it as it bobs about, too fascinated to swim

brimfull · 22/04/2009 15:09

I agree with mmelindt's post -barbie was trying to relay that other cultures may deem it an acceptable thing.
Obviously she hasn't done a course on political correctness as well as some others who jump on every single word said.

DSM · 22/04/2009 15:26

She was trying to suggest that vomiting by the side of a pool is a social normality in some cultures?

I don't think so. She was suggesting that people from the UAE might not find this disgusting, as 'they don't find anything offensive', and 'Maybe the person written about in the op's post didnt think it was strange at all'. Tell me thats not racism, go on.

And if we are going to put it down to cultures, fine. But her use of the 'not from England' maids, suggests that maids from the other parts of the UK would somehow have a different culture. Ignorance, and, IMO, racist. And I don't bandy that term about often.

barbie1 · 22/04/2009 15:44

dsm sorry im blaming the heat...dont read too much into my posts...england, the uk whatever...Maybe the grammer is not correct? However i will stand up for myself and say that living here has opened my eyes some what.

I have seen many a child spitting, being sick in the sea, pissing in the pool etc etc.... most of the time this has gone un noticed by many...however i and my (english) friends around me have been shocked at this sort of behaviour. Maybe as english we are the ignorant ones and should be more tolerant??

Im only saying that for most this sort of activity is nothing out of the ordinary, thats all.....

nappyaddict · 22/04/2009 15:44

To be honest I wouldn't care whether the sick was infectious or not. Sick in a pool is disgusting whether it's from a nasty bug or just because they had got overexcited and just eaten.

I'm pretty sure no one on here would stay in a swimming pool with a vomitting child even if they knew it wasn't down to a bug?

Wallace · 22/04/2009 15:50

My children used to vomit if they swallowd some pool water. They would splutter, gag then puke.

So I can see how it could happen!

Original poster
DuffyFluckling · 22/04/2009 16:32

I am very much enjoying the attempts to justify it.

About us not sweeping straight home. Yes, well, now I see it written down I realise that would have been the thing to do . My excuses: At the time, well, first I didn't click that was actually what was happening. Then by the second time I figured that any damage would already have been done. We did move to the bigger pool. It's a pretty enormous pool too. And surely someone has sympathy for the ENORMOUS FAFF it is to get two kids to a swimming pool? Oh to go straight home again would have been heartbreaking. Plus, no one else was reacting or moving, so again I sort of assumed I had misunderstood the situation. It was only when it was too late that I realised. How's that?

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 22/04/2009 17:36

DSM
I am assuming that you are either Scottish, Welsh or Irish that you have taken so umbridge at Barbie for her use of English.

Her use of "not from England" was due (and, Barbie correct me if I am wrong) to the fact that outside of the UK noone knows the difference between England and UK and so the term England and English are used to denote Britain and British.

I am so used to it that I occasionally do it myself, and I am Scottish. I used to correct anyone who used English instead of British but now I just let it go by.

I don't think that Barbie was in anyway insuating that Scottish/Irish/Welsh maids would allow their charges to vomit into swimming pools.

And to get back to the original OP.

We were on holiday in Italy and if a child did a poo in the baby pool, the lifeguard came around with a big scoop and a bucket then everyone went straight back into the pool, us included. It never occured to me to go. This may have been influenced by the fact that I was not completely certain that DS was innocent of the dirty deed.

barbie1 · 22/04/2009 19:01

thankyou mmelindt

Megglevache · 22/04/2009 19:04

wow you have bushes by your swimming pool?

Northernlurker · 22/04/2009 19:11

What I want to know is what were these women wearing? What does one wear for an afternoon poolside with a side activity of vomit monitoring? That's a really tricky one...

escape · 22/04/2009 19:13

barbie
I live in the UAE, and I must admit the Asian men spitting everywhere gets right on my nerves, but I have yet to see children happily urinating, vomiting and defecating by the pool - where on earth do you live? - International City??

Morgan · 22/04/2009 19:24

LOL escape at International City - i live in UAE too and have only witnessed the pooing once and that was in Emirates Hills (by an English baby)

barbie1 · 22/04/2009 19:59

international city...i would understand if it was
Nope emirates hills...the small kid weed in the shared pool, i saw the child being sick in the sea on the public beach, soon learnt to go to the private one!

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