to think that my dh should be able to get out of bed on the occassional morning without causing a massive row??

[oregonianabroad]

We are supposed to 'take turns' getting up -- which translates to I do it most mornings, he is supposed to do it once or twice a week. For which I swear he thinks he should get a medal.

But he is generally so grumpy, ds1 always insits that it should be me that gets up with him, standing at my side of the bed and pulling on my arm and begging.

I think dh should simply get up, firmly but gently lift ds downstairs, and get on with it.

But it always ends with a row, dh dithering in bed, and then ds getting hysterical. Cue much shouting and blaming between dh & me.

Why, why can't he just GET UP.

Do you have set days where he gets up?

Do you both work? When does he need to get up and when does DS1 get up?

When the DC were wee, we would both get up as DH had to go to work and I would see to the DC. Later, once the DC were more independant he started to come downstairs alone with them so that I could sleep longer.

YANBU, if he agrees that he will get up some mornings then it is not fair on you or DS1 for him to behave like a teenager.

Morning is the best time - coffee internet and paper all before they start asking where they have left all their things ( like I really care), but I am a lark.

Our kids are told the night before that it is Daddy's turn to be woken up in the morning, and they will have to be firm. I get a guilt free lie in. Normally because the kids know they are on to a bad job and stay in bed until one of us gets up.

happens with my DH too. I start work earlier than him and end later (though he would beg to differ - too ridiculous to argue about that) and I very very very very seldom get a lie in on the weekend.

YANBU at all. And if you find the answer, please put it on a post card and send it to........

snap. that is all I have to contribute - it makes me too angry to discuss any further

We both work.

It's not even the fact that he will or will not do it that makes me angry, it's the way he handles ds1 when he does get up that really makes me angry.

Ds1 is just 4. Dh is nearly 42. And yet ds1 gets 'blamed' for dh getting 'blamed' by me for not getting up and out of our bedroom and allowing the whole situation to excalate into an all-out whinge-war/ battle of will between the three of us, which will eventually wake ds2 (2yo), for which ds1 will also get the 'blame'.

Ooooh, I thought I was over it but typing all that has made me soooo angry.

No, YANBU! We're meant to 'take it in turns' at the weekend. This translates to: Sat (my day) - I hear ds come out of his door, get up quickly and try to 'head him off at the pass' before he comes into our room and calls me - we go out quietly (or try to) and ds comes up (a lot later) to wake dh up. Sun - his day - I hear ds come out of his room and gently shake dh. Grunt. Shake a bit more firmly. Grunt. Ds comes in - 'Mummy' - 'Its Daddy's turn today' 'Daddy' 'grunt' 'groan' 'go and have a wee' 'groan' 'I'm going, I'm going...' 'groan' 'grunt' 'grumble' 'daddy!!!! (from the bathroom) 'groan' 'stumble' 'crash' - Oh, and then sorts things out in the sitting room so that I get woken up (if I get back to sleep) by Cbeebies or something similar...

I have, on one occasion, physically pushed him out of bed - when ds was smaller, in a cot in another bedroom at my parents' house - I heard him start crying and clearly wanted ddh to go and cope asap 1)because ds needed him and 2) because I didn't want my parents to be disturbed more than necessary - he started on the above routine - so I pushed with my feet and he litterally fell out of bed. That woke him up