To cringe whenever I read my neices Facebook comments?

[LoveMySorrow]

My neice is 14 and has added me to her Facebook friends. I sometimes read the comments between her and her friends and just cringe! I cannot remember being so ... annoying at that age!

Here are a few examples:

"OMG i am sooooo depresed rite now cos everyfing is goin rong and i jst wnt 2 kill myself :-(("

(followed up by dozens of replies from friends: "dnt do nefing silly cos i lve u babe, soz ur feeling crap :-(((" and "omg me too, i feel so shit, why is lyfe so hard? :-(( )

And then we have the daily:

"i am so fed up of being fat and ugly. i swear im like the fattest and ugliest girl in my skool and im sick of it all, im such a freak and i really hate myself rite now"

(followed by "omg hun u are soooo not ugly! u r like the prettiest girl in the entire skool!" and "u r not coz I am the fattest and ugliest girl in skool, i wish i looked like u" )

(the girls then post photos of themselves, all size 0, bag of bones types in skinny jeans and tiny crop tops)

and then there was this:

"omg i luv rick so much, he means everyfing 2 me and hes like the most important person in my life and hes the only one that understands me, i luv him so much. we will b 2gefer 4 eva xxxxxxxxxxxxx"

(followed by "i understand u 2 babez but i no wot u mean, u 2 r prfct 4 each other, such a cute couple")

She then posts a pic of said couple ... my neice standing with a gelled haired 14 year old boy who probably cares more about what's on TV than he does about her!

Her and her friends have also got into the habit of saying that their boyfriends "own them".

So on various pics you will see "this is me outside mcdonalds, owned by rick 4eva" and "josh owns this" on a pic of a girl.

god it just makes me cringe! is it just my neice and her friends because I know other 14 year olds who would NEVER talk like this!

Yep LMS, I know where you're coming from. Seeing my SD sticking chest out, pouting on her FB profile always leaves me feeling a little uncomfortable. It wasn't that long ago she cried and sulked because her dad wouldn't give her a piggy back.

cockles seems to spellchecked the thread without actually reading it

LMS.... unfriend (or whatever it is you do to get rid on facebook) your damn niece woman! it's not doing you any good reading nonsense like that.

personally i found several years of bordeerline alcoholism at the end of my teens wiped them nicely from my memory

chegirl.... words fail me.. glad your son has a good home with you, but it must be heartbreaking to know his sister is still in that situation. why on earth did ss decide she was fit to parent one but not the other?

My teenage cousins must be remarkably literate compared to all that lot! I have 5 family yunguns and only one goes in for the whole txtspk thing - comments on the lives of soap characters and so forth. It's very funny.
My other cousins still behave badly. Just their prose is better!

Eurrrrrrrrrgh.. the OP made me shudder all through my bones.

Sleepless you rock. How long do you give it until your DD realises that your imaginary spies friends keep seeing her in places and siuations that are then shown in pictures on Facebook?

I have several old school jotters that my friends and i used to write notes in, do you want to hear how sad i was at the age of 13?

TBS - OMG L IS SO FIT BUT P IS WELL FIT TO WHO SHALL I GO OUT WIV?

K - DUNNO L IS CUTE BUT NOT REALLY FIT, UR SO LUCKY ALL THE FIT BOYZ FANCY U!

TBS - YEAH ITS ANNOYIN THO COZ I NEVA NO WHO 2 CHOOSE! AT LEAST P IS OLDER SO A BIT MORE MATURE (P was 14 by the way, very mature )

K - YEAH SPOSE SO, ASK L IF HE WILL GO OUT WIV ME THO..........

TBS - WILL DO MATE BUT HE LOVES ME HE WROTE ME A LETTA.....

(How up my own arse was i?)

It was all crap like this and of course "TBS N P 4EVA N ALWAYS" this was for one week then it would be "I HEART L" ect, everything was soooooo life changing back then.

Never, ever did i get my boobs out or talk about who "owned" me or anything like that, i love looking through my old jotters though its cringe worthy but funny.

I remember when my best friend and I had a thing for boys who had just reached the stage where their voice would break and acne would appear. In our eyes it meant they were more mature and sexy

But to say a boy 'owned' me would be utter humilation and I would probably have lost my street cred in the process.

I cringe when I see my neighbour's daugther's status on MSN as she is 9 and says 'XXXX is a dirty sket and 'shuld i b a model, every1 says i am pretty, but i am not, so shuld i b a model...

Pinktulip who the hell knows? She was born less than two years after the care order was finalised on her brother. I have reports that state she is unable to parent without 24 hr support. She is unable to put the needs of her child (or anyone elses) before her own, and so on and on and on.

But low and behold a short time after this intensive and complex assesment she is deemed absolutly fine.

Yep and so is Karen Matthews . Infact the social work reports published re Karen Matthews bore a striking resemblance to those of my DS's birth mum. I can only imagine its down to resources, inexperienced social worker, over burdened child protection teams and her ability to lie without blinking.

I would love to think she has changed and developed enough to care for a child and keep her safe. There is just so much evidence to the contrary.

Sigh.

Chegirl - that's really sad.

That facebook stuff is hilarious. They will no doubt look back and cringe themselves.

I cannot physically bring myself to read the diaries I kept at that age. Although I wrote in English, it's all about being depressed because I had a spot and no one fancied me and I was never going to get a boyfriend and blah blah blah. It's mortifying.

This thread has made me laugh out loud. Was talking to dh about this earlier.

INeed - that could have been written by my niece! I have just removed her from my friends list. She's from dh's side of the family and I barely know her, yet my news feed is clogged with her indecipherable status updates.

My cousin's 15yo dd (who I've never even met) has also been removed for the same reason.

I want to hear about my actual friends. These girls have hundreds of facebook friends, so I'm certain they wont notice I've gone!

OP yanbu

And this is by my 19 year old cousin on FB

is shokd at wot shes heard n finkin it nt fair

cnt bleve hw mch she bin paid

it went ok i fink bt it may just have bin gosip as i heard 2day we was avin a mystery shopa

This is from a 28 year old's page

LMAO. i got 2 much on my mind, tryin 2 do a milli things @ 1nc...! i aint dislexsic.....

(followed by lots of similar posts)

And I can't even understand my cousin most of the time, this is about as clear as she gets:

ya i tnk its bout time i get bk 2 skul....strtin 2 pack heat nw lol

ahhh i realy wana hit xxx bt the thot of goin wit di bu 4rm posh....ey dats jst anidr mission

I fl lyk sht.im so soz im doin ds 2 u

claireybee, I'm inappropriately PMSL at "i aint dislexsic....."

YANBU, but wouldn't it be so much more annoying if our gorgeous young relatives were effortlessly articulate and literate as well? I'd be seething.

chegirl can I ask how come you have her son if she was allowed to keep her daughter? Does your brother/sister still see your DS as their grandson?

I don't understand people who put photos of themselves on facebook in their underwear and suspenders when they probably have family on there.

I also don't understand comments like owned by X or property of X.

Oh forgot to ask at what point do social services decide a child can no longer return to it's birth parents and let the foster parents adopt? Or does it differ in each case?

The txt spk is quite Orwellian really isn't it? I would make all 14 year olds read '1984'.

Thread made me laugh though. OP, have you shown your niece's facebook pages to her mother?

Nappyaddict

Idont know why she still has her daughter. Its a mystery to me.
My DS's grandmother is still his birthgrandmother.
Fostercarer adoption is not the norm. It does happen but its not very common. My DS came to us as a foster child but we agreed from the start to adopt if he could not return to his birth mother. We had no idea at the time he came to us that he would still be with us. We where unaware of the extent of neice's 'difficulties'.

It can take a long time to decide if a child can return to a parent. The legal process is long and the parent needs to be given a fair chance to get their child back. In our case this took two years.

Ah yes of course she would be if it's DH's niece then her mum/dad must be DH's brother/sister.

I take it she wanted to keep her role as grandmother rather than adopt him?

Does DS know who his birth mum is or does he just think she's another member of the family? If he knows how does he respond to that?

Sorry if you think I'm being terribly nosey!!Just tell me to mind my own if you want

Birth grandmother was not allowed to adopt because she is, if anything, worse than her daughter.

DS knows he didnt grow in my tummy etc but he has learning and language difficulties so its all a bit hard for him to understand fully.

Its not a secret and never will be.

He doesnt see her because social services will no longer allow it due to her behaviour and inability to consider his needs or feelings.

Its not the way we wanted it to be but its how its turned out.

It's so inappropriate that their names are on FB.

Couldn't you tell FB that as DS parents, you want his name off public display?

Horrifying...

This thread has confirmed it for me. I am one seriously ooooooooold git.

However, I have diaries from when I was 15 and I was annoying, boy-obsessed and self-absorbed too - and they would like to know you find them annoying. The whole point is to be impenetrable/shocking to adults.

OP you must wean yourself off this shite. What do you think mumsnet is for? age-appropriate trite twaddle of course!

ilovemydog we have been down that route BELIEVE (bit of yoof speak there for ya). We have been in touch with social services, the site (myspace in our case), the police, the agency that polices child safety on the internet.

It is a growing problem and no one seems very well set up to deal with it as yet.

I spent a good few months trying to get it sorted but everytime Myspace removed his name she just put it back up a again. she was enjoying herself. It was a waste of time and she was feeding of the chaos.

I have spent enough of my life trying to help/support/advise that young woman and I have decided that I am on a hiding to nothing.

I can no longer waste my energy on her. My DS deserves it more.

It is a real worry as he becomes older and more computer literate but that is something we will have to prepare him for when the time is right.

Ah, a bit of a laugh for her.No doubt directed at you to wind you up.

don't envy you the talk you will have with your DS as to why the biological one uses his name as her son in the same breath as being porn material...

But at least he thinks of you as mom... The alternative doesn't bear thinking about...