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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be a bit depressed that DD has been demoted to the bottom YR1 group again...

17 replies

minko · 21/04/2009 16:02

In her class of 30 there are 5 groups. She was in group 5 the first year, group 4 for most of this year and now back down to 5 again. There are 6 of them and 3 are English-as-a-2nd-language kids.

DH and I were both good at school and quite bright and I'm finding it hard to come to terms with having an erm, academically challenged daughter... I know I sound a bit harsh though.

OP posts:

cece · 21/04/2009 16:11

Perhaps you should be pleased that the teacher is meeting her needs? Just a thought?

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 21/04/2009 16:12

If you did well at school then I can understand that you have similar ambitions for your daughter. But year 1 is very early to be assuming that she won't achieve academically. Maybe she has got off to a slow start but will catch up with or even overtake her peers. Being in the 'bottom' group may help in this, if it means that she gets support and help geared to her needs.

I'm not sure why you mention that your daughter is in a group with EAL children. In the longer term, EAL children often do extremely well.

So, YANBU to be concerned if you think she is slipping backwards but you may be worrying too much, iyswim.

nametaken · 21/04/2009 16:14

I know exactly how you feel - I did well at school and so did my dh but I have 3 dc who are in the middle, bottom and bottom group.

And as soon as I start to feel disappointed, I then feel guilty because I have 3 happy healthy dc and no right to moan about anything.

mumto2andnomore · 21/04/2009 16:20

Bit harsh to put them in ability groups so obviously at that age, normally they have names like red group or lions ! Aside from that what does her teacher say,does she find it hard to concentrate, what are her strengths?

ManicMother7777 · 21/04/2009 16:22

My son was the same - bottom sets for reception and Y1. Now in Y4 and classed as gifted and talented - he blossomed in Y2. So yes probably a bit early to worry. When is her birthday - summer babies tend to be a bit behind at this stage.

Also in primary schools they always have to balance the numbers in groups, so going down a group might not be anything to do with your dd but to do with other children who've been moved sets. Would talk to the teacher if I were you.

Original poster

minko · 21/04/2009 16:23

She is one of the youngest, and quite immature for her age too I think. She lacks confidence and is not good at concentrating. Her reading and writing have really come on recently, though maths is a big struggle. I have been helping her and she has had extra work from the teacher to do at home. With all this extra help I'm disappointed she has gone down rather than up...

OP posts:

Thunderduck · 21/04/2009 16:24

Even if they group the kids by colours, the children still know which are the most academic of the groups.
We were all well aware of this when I was in primary at least. It isn't hard to work it out.

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 21/04/2009 16:27

I think the age aspect is very relevant here. I'm a school governor and our head teacher says that it takes until Y4 for the gap between winter and spring-born children to close. And it's true that, whatever names they're given, the children always know where each group fits in the academic pecking order!

Have you spoken to the teacher?

OrmIrian · 21/04/2009 16:31

minko - all my DC have been slow to get started at school. DS#2 is on the table with the 2 boys with English as a second language. DS#1's first parents evening his teacher told me she couldn't show my any work as he hadn't completed anything - not even a picture .

I was very academic at school too so was taken aback, not to say horrified.

But DD is now in Yr 5 and the very top of the class for literacy and top group for maths. Teacher can't praise her enough. DS#1 got levels 5s in his yr 6 SATS and is flying in Yr 7.

Some children just take longer to settle in. IMO the best thing you can do is relax - read to her and with her, keep educating her in the widest sense by explaining and showing her the world. Don't get hung up on marks and grades. There is time. The very worst thing you could do is let her know that you are worried.

edam · 21/04/2009 16:37

mentioning she's in a set where half the kids have English as a second language seems perfectly reasonable to me. Minko is expressing her concern - you assume a native speaker of English will be doing a little better than someone who is still learning, just by virtue of having a lifetime's exposure to the language in which they are being educated.

(Not criticising Minko's dd, just defending her point about ESL.)

Minko, agree with everyone else who says it's very early days, plenty of time for dd to get into her stride. Although I sympathise with your frustration.

OrmIrian · 21/04/2009 16:39

I agree edam. I assumed that my DS who has been speaking English since he first could and listening to it every day would have a big advantage to a child that didn't.

katiestar · 21/04/2009 16:45

Seriously YR1 is far too early to come to this conclusion.
I could have written this post about my DS 8 years ago .He was on the bottom table for everything ,but now at age 14 is at grammar school and doing well.If both you and your DH are academic it is very likely that she has potential to be too .

katiestar · 21/04/2009 16:46

Might be interesting to try some reasoning tests with her ?

Original poster

minko · 21/04/2009 16:59

What sort of reasoning test? I am fairly confident that she has good common sense!

OP posts:

vjg13 · 21/04/2009 17:13

I think YABU. My older daughter has severe learning difficulties and I would be ecstatic if she could cope in set 5 in a mainstream class. Maybe (shock, horror) she won't be academic but will have other good qualities.

memoo · 21/04/2009 18:04

i would try not to worry about it too much. Of course we all want our DC to do well at school but just because they're not in the higher sets it doesn't mean that they won't do well in the future.

My brother never did well at school and left high school with no GCSE's. Fast forward a few years and he took himself off to uni getting a first class honours degree, he then did a masters and is now in the second year of his PHD. He letures to fund his Phd and is very highly regarded by his collagues and uni professors.

I guess I'm trying to say that just need to keep supporting and encouraging your DC and they will be fine. but also remember that you can't make them something they're not.

Sassybeast · 21/04/2009 18:09

Why on earth are they split so clearly into groups in YR1 ? They are so little and it's obvioulsy an issue for you and goodness knows how many other parents and by default is possibly going to affect the children. Have you spoken to the teacher to ask what criteria they use ? DD1 was NEVER streamed at that age. They worked and played in different groups all the time.

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