to be looking forward to going to a funeral?

[procrastinatingparent]

I feel very guilty about this, but in short, Dh and I are going to the funeral of a close by blood but not close emotionally relative, who died after a long illness at a great age.

It is a short flight away and we are staying in what looks like a lovely hotel. We are leaving the 4 DC with friends who love them to bits. We haven't had a night away by ourselves for a couple of years.

Admittedly we have the funeral and scattering of the ashes, which will be sad and probably open up all sorts of strange emotions, given various general wierdnesses. But we also get to see relatives we don't often see, including one I've never met, and I'm quite looking forward to that.

But it's a funeral, for crying out loud. How can I look forward to that?

I was like this about dh's uncles, I was quite miffed when I had to miss most of it. I think it was just the seeing people bit.

A funeral of someone who has made a great age and had a great life is not always a sad affair at all. The deceased would probably be happy that all their family members were getting together. I always thought that my granny would have enjoyed her own funeral, strangely.

TPT - you are so right.

I have lots of mixed emotions towards the person who has died, but it's not my side of the family, so they don't run quite as deep as they might.

lol..yanbu...but i agree with profiterolethief...you need to get out more!!.
I shouldn't take a funeral to do all that stuff should it ? This is what our whole famiy and friends would say everytime we had a big get together (used to be weddings and christenings ...now mostly funerals .
Make it a yearly thing perhaps?...a treat for you and dh (not the funeral...the hotel etc )
dh and i need to do this also

actually, i look back on my grans funeral with real joy.

i was hugely sad when she died, had a complete hissy fit at dh on the journey to my parents. but the actual day was great. i love my family, we rarely all get together (loads of us, 1000s miles apart) & we went back to my gran's house, opened up the drinks cabinet & ordered chines from her favourite place. then we spent til about 1 am swapping family stories & remembering stuff.

felt like ti brought me really close to her & the family

i have had similar experiences with an uncle & a cousin's funerals. you shouldn't have to wait til someone dies for those experiences, but id does help get you over the death.

Agree with kickass too...when my dad died a few years back ...there was much crying...but also much laughter. It was a good family bonding time

At recent funeral for well aged aunt I met up and resumed contact with long lost cousins.
Of course you can both look forward to and 'enjoy' a funeral.

I'm looking forward to my granny's funeral... and she's still alive!

I know that sounds dreadful but it's about the only time that the rest of us all get together.

Most funerals are sad during the service but then happy at the 'reception' or whatever you call it afterwards.

yanbu at all. Funerals are part of the rich tapestry of life. Imagine how happy you'd be to know that people had enjoyed themselves at your funeral.

pmsl morris!

one of the funnist nights I have ever had was when a few family members and I wrote 'the Prayers of the Faithful' for my Nanas funeral mass don't remember why but we laughed as we trie to write the knowing she would be cursing ou ineptitude

Funerals are not always sad but sadly often the only time we make time for our families these days

I've only really been to proper old fashioned Irish funerals - and they usually end up being better than most weddings!! As long as it's an elderly relative who's lived a good long life and all that.

In our family which is large and spread out we tend to say at any family gathering except a funeral "oh it's lovely to see everyone with no-one being dead"

I think it's part of life too.

Thanks for all your encouragement about funerals being fun.

I definitely think there will be fun bits to this, although there is a lot of weirdness too. Inappropriate to say what here, but it's one of those family stories which make you say wtf?!

DH and I are pretty good at spending time together, but going away overnight is hard with no family nearby to look after the four kids. We do have a 15th wedding anniversary (I was a child bride, obviously) coming up soon, so we should get away then.

Justabout, great idea about the money for hotel costs . We can only do this because dear friends (who have also just lost a relative) enclosed a very generous cheque in their card of sympathy to help with flights and expenses. So thoughtful!

I like your family saying, flower.

Some of the "best" get-togethers I have attended have been funerals

Seeing family/friends you never get chance to see

Reminiscing, celebrating a life (if it was a life well-lived etc etc), the whole heightened-emotion thing...

One of our best friends tragically died several yrs ago, and her funeral is still commented on now as the best knees-up for ages...

I think my mum would probably have been very cross to miss her own funeral/wake! It was a great affair.

We have to go to one on Friday and I keep telling myself that the wake afterwards (huge, Irish family on the deceased's side of the family) will be worth it.

YANBU. I really enjoyed my great-aunt's funeral, gettinto see all the family. It helped that she was over 90, had been ill, and was the grumpy one of the family anyway, her sister (who he lived with all her life) is much more friendly and still alive.

Well, if this funeral ever happens (trying to get 8 offspring to agree on arrangements is a nightmare), I'll let you know what sort of affair it was.

BIWI - this is a semi-Irish affair, but won't be too well-attended; yours sounds like it has the potential for a real celebratory knees up.

Well, there were some extremely odd bits to it and some stunning family revelations (I so wish I could tell you all - fantastic soap opera Christmas special stuff) but all in all the funeral went well, and it was lovely to see some long-lost family.

(I also liked the beautiful hotel room, the full Irish breakfasts, travelling without children - I haven't done it for a decade so I had forgotten how fabulous it is - and some wonderful time with DH).

Not that I am going to look forward to funerals in general you understand, but there were definitely some silver-liningy bits to this one.

Procrastinatingparent... you are killing me!! I need want to know what the 'extremely odd' & 'stunning family revelations' were!!! Is there no way you can tell us, even on this anonymous website??

I'm glad you had a good time and that some other lovely person sends you some money and offers to have the kids so you get to go away again

ChippingIn - I would love to tell all but it's not my side of the family and seems a little unfair to DH. Also, the circumstances are so unusual that it would instantly identify me.

But I'm thinking of writing a film script so if you ever watch a movie about a family gathering for a funeral at a falling down Irish mansion, all will be revealed.

Owwwwwww OK then, but only if you promise, PROMISE, to post another AIBU thread along the lines of AIBU to think this is going to be a great film, so that I don't miss it

ChippingIn accepts the reality that her life is being lived too vicariously