to plan on telling people that my fourth pregnancy (yet to happen) was accidental?

[emkana]

... as I can't face all the questions why I would be so mad to have another, esp from my mother.

And yes it's hypothetical, but just pondering atm.

emkana, whatever gets you through is fine in my book!

your life, your business

why should you need to lie if you choose to have a 4th child?

If we have a fourth I am going to tell everyone it was planned and they can just deal with it.

Unless theya re the ones getting up at 4am, buying food and school shoes for the child they do not have the right to commment on the number of children you chose to have IMVHO.

You go for it

cause she is surrounded by numpties (just hazarding a guess )

dunno, so many reasons why people will think it'd be madness to have another.

ds has special needs, money always an issue obv (even though we are not poor by any stretch of the imagination), difficulty of travelling to Germany with four dc's, and the fact that I have been a SAHM for eight years now and having another will def seal the fact that I will never work again "properly", even though I have a good degree etc

It is your life and your choice and you shouldn't have to justify your deccisions to anyone. Just tell people that. A child is a precious gift not something to be questioned and ranted about, it is something to be thankful for and loved and your family should realise that but if telling them that works for you, if it will be that bad then I dont see anything wrong with it, again your life, your choice

If you're confident that this is what you truly want, right now, then you shouldn't feel the need to justify yourself to others.

emkana, tell people whatever you like. anything for an easy life!

I would let them wonder and say nothing and if they ask say 'no it was planned, not an accident' and laugh at their response. But then I am quite contrary lol

emkana, are you me?? Too many matching personal details for comfort .

Anyway, yep, I would tell (and have told) any white lie necessary to keep people of your back. Easy life, all the way!

its your business whether you want another DC and up to you what you tell people
FWIW i told people DD was unplanned as me and my DP (now DH) had only been together for a year when i got my BFP and we had been TTC for almost as long (we had the children talk very early in our relationship) and we have discussed what we are going to tell people when the time is right with this pregnancy (just got a bfp last week) as we have been TTC for 19 cycles and i have had 2 MC during that time that we kept to ourselves for one reason or another im erring on the side of 'happy surprise' as i cant be bothered with the planned preg 'oh how long were you trying' questions it just means im papering over the history rather than blatently lying about it
xx ei xx