to feel sad for feeling I have to cancel my holiday???

[Haribosmummy]

DH and I, along with some friends, have had a holiday booked for ages.

Turns out, though, I'll be 35 weeks PG when we fly. Airline guidelines mean I can legally fly and my consultant is happy to provide a certificate (needed, after 28 weeks) so I was keen to go (would be travelling with 14 month old DS too)

But, Dh and the other people we were going with want / expect me to cancel, to the point where I feel obliged to pull out (and have now cancelled the holiday)

I know that they have my best interests at heart, but still feel a bit that I won't get a holiday this summer (and probably not for the next year, as travelling with two babies isn't going to be easy)

Please come and kick talk some sense into me!!!

have they said as much? if you're happy to fly and your consultant is ok with it then just go.

I agree with thisisyesterday, but if you have already cancelled then I would make the most of it and use the money to go somewhere really swanky and spend some time with your DH an pamper yourself.

Look on the bright side, you may not have wanted to travel so much by then. I did a 6 hour car trip when I was 36 weeks pregnant and hated it. Depends how big you get though

Yes, it's been said explicitly.

Dsis has even said she doesn't think she'd enjoy going with me as I'll be so PG and will have DS with me...

I do think she's genuinely concerned that I should stay at home (rather than just doesn't want the hassle of me going, IYSWIM) but I'm still feeling sad about it.

We've been away twice since DS was born - both times for short ciy breaks and both times with my DSDs (so DH is tied up with them, meaning DS and I tend to get left to fend for ourselves IYSWIM...) so I suppose I was looking forward to a bit of pampering...

4 years ago I was contemplating a short flight while pregnant with DS who was still a baby and my sister. My doctor was ok with it. But I was anxious because my first baby was born extremely premature 1 week after I took a plane. There is really no link, but I am traumatized as she died after birth and I wanted to put the blame on something... Then as I was trying to decide I saw in the news a woman who went into preterm labour in a short flight and had the baby in the plane! Thanks God it all went well for them.... But I stayed at home.

jeez, I think i'd have just said well I would like a holiday thanks
it isn't up to them whether or not you go is it??

but then i'm like that. I do like to please myself lol

Listen its up to you and at a push your DH to decide if you go on holiday or not. Unless your friends/relatives are planning to look after you or your first DC was premature,can't see what its got to do with them.

However as you have now cancelled make the most of it by watching all the stuff your DH hates on TV, have a girly evening, and eat egg on toast every night.

Chocfundgecake - sorry to hear about your DD .

I do think this is what has driven the comments: they want me and the baby to be well.

MIA - I suppose what's getting to me most is 'to make up for it', friends have said that they will come here (to our house) instead... which is nice, we have the space... except what it actually means in practice is they'll come here, drink alcohol and the lads will disappear to play golf... Pampering won't be a strong feature!!!! And (IMO) I'll spend more time running around looking after DS and all the house guests than I would have if we'd all gone away and stayed in a hotel!!!

well don't let that happen!!! go on holiday in the UK instead.
you deserve a nice break before you have your baby, don't end up playing hostess to them all

If that's the issue then can't you do something in the UK. If your DH is around then could you go away with some of your friends for one night to a spa hotel and indulge in some treatments and a proper relax ?

Perhaps the agreement can be that you have lots of take away when they're over and you and your friend can have 2 days pampering at a local spa place of something?

Thanks, Haribosmummy.
I also think a holiday in the UK would be great! Having people in your house doesn't sound very nice, unless you do a cleaning and cooking rota for them

Agree re UK holiday. I don't see why it has to be exotic foreign holiday or stay at home and cater for the hoard. I'd refuse to cater, saying you'll be too tired , and insist on UK holiday.
It's nice they've cancelled as well, I'd presumed husband and friends were going without you. I can understand friends doing that but would def expect husband to cancel if I had to, especially as it sounds like you have a kid to look after and who will want a holiday (assuming not baby) anyway.

Cleaning and cooking rota!!!! [better laugh or I'd cry emoticon needed here]

I had considered the spa break idea, but discounted it because DS will have to use a creche and he's not always great in new environments and I know who'll end up having to sort him out if he gets upset (which will get to me and then I'll get tetchy and spoil it for everyone, which i'd rather not do)

But, I hadn't considered going somewhere ELSE in the UK... We could go to a center parc or somewhere child friendly - but somewhere all the cooking / cleaning etc was taken care of...

ooohh... I'm quite excited at that idea!!

2Rebecca - Some friends are still going, but, to be fair, the three people who put pressure on me (DH, Dsis and BIL) have all cancelled and said we'll do something together.

Crieff Hydro is quite nice. Has childcare facilities but you don't have to use them. Quieter than centreparks, more grown up but still stuff for kids to do depending on them being old enough to want to do stuff. Better meals than centreparks as well. I like centreparks, but better for primary school age kids and usually quite exhausting.

Centreparcs have a spa. Send everyone else to do activities while you have spa treatments, take some good books and dvds, let everyone else do the cooking etc.

FWIW - as an ex midwife and mother of 3, I would not fly at 35 weeks.

Thankyou 3littlefrogs - I do know deep down they have my best intentions at heart...

Especially as where we were intending to stay was pretty remote northern Italy. And was / is completely avoidable

I'm currently googling child friendly luxury hotels - the idea of a break in the UK is equally appealling to me!!!

look at babyfriendlyboltholes some lovely places on there

Thankyou all!!

You have made me feel LOADS better!!!

yes cancel, 35 weeks on a plane even for a few hours not very comfy and what if your baby comes early and you have it abroad, that would be hard. I only say this as both my DS's were early 36 and 37 weeks. I can understand totally how sad you are after you have been looking forward to it!