For not wanting to constantly off his ex?

[MyImmortal]

DP constantly slags off his ex wife. He does this to me, to his DD (his ex's daughter), in front of my kids .. to anyone that will listen.

He encourages his DD to say that she doesn't like her mother and encourages lots of negative feeling about her. I don't think this is healthy.

She's not the best role model in the world but I don't see why we all need to slag her off constantly, surely life is too short?

She sent a couple of abusive text messages to DP last week because she'd got her visiting days mixed up and blamed him. Now personally, if I had received the texts I would have either replied privately or ignored them. DP made a huge deal out of them, showed them to his DD, showed them to me, repeated them to my kids to show what a "nutter" DSD's mum is and made a HUGE public spectacle of it. He didn't however show his DD the message where the ex apologised and admitted the mistake was her fault.

If I don't slag her off he gets all offended, as if I'm "siding" with her. I just couldn't give a shit about the woman to be frank, I hardly know her and don't want to waste my energy slagging her off.

I think he's worried DSD will decide to live with her one day so he tries to turn her against her as much as possible but it's so unhealthy, he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong.

The title should say "For not wanting to constantly slag off his ex"

where's the edit button??

I thought you meant you didn't want to bump her off!!

you are not UR, your oh is for doing this infront of his dd.

when he starts, take hold of her hand and remove her from the room.

tell him in private it stops, now.

How long has she been the ex-wife? The opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference.

YANBU.

They've been seperated for 4 years, divorced for 3.

We went away for the weekend last week and took some lovely photos. One was of a dragon statue and he's writen on the description "we even bumped into the ex...."

In a way I get sick of him going on about her. And I hate hearing his DD say "Oh god, is SHE coming today? does she have to?" etc ... she shouldn't speak like that about her mum but he encourages her too.

YANBU. I argee with Muffinbaker. It's very unhealthy for DD to hear this, can he not see that it could lead to a bigger problem then his dd going to live with her when she's older, but resenting him aswell?

can you ask to go to relate and/or family therapy so he hears from experts how much he is damaging his dd.

Who ended the relationship? Does he still have feelings for her? Sometimes people are most vicious when they have conflicting feelings or are trying to hide their true feelings.

Is it not erroding your feelings for him? I don't think I could stand to be around someone who cannot move on and live for now - if it's going to be a deal breaker then please tell him!

YA most definitely NBU. It's not right and it's doing his daughter a massive disservice. No matter what his ex has done (and I'd hazard a guess it's no worse than mine) you DO NOT EVER slag off the child's parent.

If the non-res parent acts inappropriately or is unreliable then, yes, help the child to understand it's something to do with that parent and it's not the child's fault. Maybe say that you, too, don't understand why the other parent behaves the way they do and give them a shoulder to cry on if they're feeling rejected.

But you don't slag them off as that is bad for the child and also can backfire spectacularly badly as the child grows up and realises the non-res parent isn't as evil as the res parent made them out to be.