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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am, I know I am, just need to offload a little and see other peoples thoughts tho.....

33 replies

psychomum5 · 18/04/2009 16:27

I am not going to say anything to him, it would not be fair at all, but it is bothering me and I need to tell someone seeing as DH is at work and tis weekend so friends are busy...........

DS1 has asked if his friend can sleep over tonight. I have said yes, and I truly don;t mind as he is a nice enough lad, and DS1 is occupied (a major beneifit).

problem is that the lad comes from a home where everyone smokes, and so he smells very smokey. they are all in the lounge with me, they are playing UNO, (they love the game), but the smell is bothering me a tad, and I feel so bad for it bothering me as it is not his fault.

OP posts:
oldraver · 18/04/2009 16:29

Cant you sent them out in the garden for a bit to air off. Or spray Fabreeze accidentely in his direction

Original poster
psychomum5 · 18/04/2009 16:31

hoping to shortly......they are normally outside tho anyway playing basket ball (we have a hoop in the garden).

that won;t help later tho when it gets dark. hoping I will get used to it soon.

thankfully it is not bothering DS2. he is very vocal normally about smells, he seems to have a very sensitive nose and no tact

OP posts:
HelleborePelargoniaThunderclap · 18/04/2009 16:32

Accidentally empty some cold coffe all over the lad and wash his clothes. You may need to accidentally slop some cold soup into the bag his pyjamas are in too.

If you aim cleverly, you'll get the coffee in his hair too, so you can shampoo out the Eau De Marlboro.

SerendipitousHarlot · 18/04/2009 16:35

Does it really bother you that much?

Original poster
psychomum5 · 18/04/2009 16:38

it does actually. I do have a sensitive smell tho..........I am one of those who when I had tiny children, and would go out for an evening leaving DH with them, could tell the minute I walked thru the door if he had mistakenly put them to bed in a poohy nappy!

that said, I am not for trying to spray him to mask the smell.

I just find smokey smells hard to deal with. makes me feel mildly sick, wcich I know is a major OTT reaction.

OP posts:
QuantitativeMeasure · 18/04/2009 16:39

Hellebore- are you serious??? Pour cold coffee over him?

Its only stale smoke, Not rotting flesh FGS.

SerendipitousHarlot · 18/04/2009 16:40

Oh I wasn't moaning at you!

What about a water fight in the garden? Then you could offer to wash his clothes afterwards

Original poster
psychomum5 · 18/04/2009 16:41

oh god they would love a water fight

mind you, that seems a tad cruel as it is cold outside........

OP posts:
MuffinBaker · 18/04/2009 16:43

I sympathise as I can not stand the smell of cigarette smoke.

Boys in garden.

Hose pipes.

Bet they would think it was Christmas!!

(Any choccy left? )

HelleborePelargoniaThunderclap · 18/04/2009 16:44

QM you are right - it was a ridiculous suggestion.

Psycho should use garlic sauce instead - coffee isn't a strong enough smell to warrant a thorough de-ponging.

DesperateHousewifeToo · 18/04/2009 16:44

Give them warm water to fight with.

YANBU I hate the smell of stale (and fresh) smoke too

Gentle · 18/04/2009 16:44

I always stank when I was a kid. It sounds like you're just trying to get over it and get on with it - can I please, please, urge you to trust your instincts and continue with that?

Depending on his age, he could already be sensitive about the fact that he smells and know exactly what's going on. Maybe it's something you can tackle further on in his relationship with your son, but not if they're at first sleepover stage.

Original poster
psychomum5 · 18/04/2009 16:44

chocolate Q hmmm................if you are who I hope, then no........but it tasted gooooooooooooooood^

OP posts:
Original poster
psychomum5 · 18/04/2009 16:47

oh gentle, I am not going to say anything, or even make out that it is bothering me, have no fear

they are right now in the garden playing hoops, am pondering letting them loose with water balloons and then directing them to the bath after (actually, would boys of 8 mind sharing a bath, or do I bath one, get t'other in the shower??).

OP posts:
MuffinBaker · 18/04/2009 16:49

Shucks. I nearly got you some more today as well.

Gentle · 18/04/2009 16:52

psychomum5 Of course you wouldn't! Just had some flashbacks there of being mortified by well-meaning mums of friends who were always mislaying my overnight bag, encouraging things going in the wash etc. I hardly ever went to sleepovers until I was about 14 and more able to sort myself out first, I couldn't stand the humiliation.

Actually have just remembered a good friend I did stay with sometimes when I was aged 9-11, their parents always began a sleepover day with a trip to the swimming pool and then my friend and her family would have loads of nice smellies in the communal shower, I wonder if this was why?

Original poster
psychomum5 · 18/04/2009 16:57

were they really that bad gentle.....oh no, that is so sad. nice family tho who did the swimming trip. what a nice way round (if that was the reason).

muffinbaker.......

OP posts:
knockedgymnast · 18/04/2009 17:03

Sorry but I think you're sounding a tad cruel.

It's hardly the poor child's fault that the parents can't be arsed to smoke in the garden or outside the house.

How do you think he feels about it? He has no choice. you have him for one night, deal with it!

Jacksmama · 18/04/2009 17:07

YANBU. I hate the smell of smoke. Big complication: MIL smokes. In her house. So when DH and DS go to visit her while I am working, they both come back reeking smelling of smoke. GAG!!!!!!!!!

((((mwah to you BTW))))

QuantitativeMeasure · 18/04/2009 17:11

Hellebore- you are norty!

MuffinBaker · 18/04/2009 17:11

How is she being cruel?

She hasn't said anything to the child.

Gentle · 18/04/2009 17:17

kncokedgymnast I didn't detect any cruelty at all! She said from the beginning she knows it's not his fault and she knows she can't do anything about it! I think she posted to offload a bit so she can get on with looking after the lad.

knockedgymnast · 18/04/2009 17:30

My point is that it's just one of those things. It's not nice but that's life!

BitOfFun · 18/04/2009 17:34

Pretend to be doing some housework and hit the kids with some febreze. Then start a bumsex thread and get your mind off it

everGreensleeves · 18/04/2009 17:36

paint some olbas oil on your upper lip

seriously though, I have hyperacute sense of smell/taste too and a bad odour really can make you feel quite desperate. I used to cry on the school bus because of a man who got on at the same stop every morning and stayed opn for 5 stops. He used to stand in front of me and the stench of his BO used to make me gag. Nobody else seemed to notice.

No advice really though, other than get them outside for as long as you can, and then maybe tell them to change into pjs before watching a movie or something? I do that with mine (pyjama party with movies and munchies) but they are littler...