aibu to have just hung up on my mother

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I am not having a good couple of weeks at all really.
Ive just hung up on my mother. She phoned me and started ranting about her partner ( who was made redundant but is now working) and how the money he recieved from job seekers is apparently to be taken off his payment in lieu of notice ( paid from govt as company folded) and is going to be taxed. She then proceeded to go on about how he is peanilised as they dont have kids, its not fair, people with kids get more, her partner has alsways worked and paid more tax etc....
I pointed out that people with kids dont know they are getting made redundant either, circumstances can change really quickly and that people should be supported in times of need and kids cost more than just one person.
Then she started going on that i get loads of money apparetnly and i wont have to pay it back either and thats not fair.
Yes, im on my own. I was married when i had my child, my ex was a shitty husband and was always cheating on me so i kicked him out. I did not know this when i had my child.
I work, i went back to work my my child was 7 months old. I privatley rent and get tax credits and a small ( hardly worth it ) top up of housing benefit, plus child benefit as everyone gets. She has had 4 children herself, so she also had child benefit at some point.
She was going on and on and on, so i said, mum you are actually upsetting me now, so im giong to go - bye. Then i hung up.

Was i wrong to do so?

Nope. I hung up on my mother a few weeks back, after she said something offensive about my kids. It led to a very honest discussion and I said a lot of things that had needed to be said for a long time. To her credit she took it all on board and things are so different now. Putting the phone down on her was the best thing I have ever done.

YANBU tax credits/benefits/redundancy payment are decided upon by a democratically elected government , don't know how you can be fairer than that.You don't have to justify it !
I think your mum is just very worried and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Pleaae don't take it personally ,it sounds as though you are doing a wonderful job
I'd maybe give it a little while then call her back and say you are there if she wants to talk about her worries ,and yes it must be frustrating that but you are not to blame for government payments.I would probably go down the road of blaming greedy banks for the recession and then she has someone else to blame
(BTW payment in lie of notice isn't taxable ?)

thanks katie - i didnt think it was either, but apparently it is and what he has recieved in job seakers will be taken off it.
She is worried - but they have no mortgage, no debt and she works, so they are/were ok. ( not ideal, but better off that a lot of people who are in that position).

It upsets me as i try really hard, and its not like i have a lot of spare money everymonth, but she seems to think im taking it from tax payers like her... even though ive always worked and paid tax myself. Apparetnly its unfair as i wont have to paid it back and i get more than i pay out.

No you are not.
I cannot stand this whinging -oh you get more money than me, it's not fair waaahhh.
She is an adult, so is her partner. They are entitled to whatever suopport they can and then it's end of...on your own two feet.
What you or any other families get is not her business and instead of moaning at you she should look at how to fix her situation.
You should be proud of what you are trying to achieve and ignore her.
Do not let her drag you in to that 'oh poor me' mind set - it is poisanous.

YANBU I hate people like this my sister does it all the time well both of them do tbh.

One is a lP on income support and I have it easier than her and am lucky because my dp works and we get TC.

One is married with no dc and always rants about how easy I have it and how she works hours and hours but my dp has a shitty little job and we get supported by the state .

Oh am getting wound up thinking about it .

Hope you have a better week next week .

YANBU. I am a lone parent and work FT but claim tax credits to cover (high) childcare costs. There are women I work with who are a bit because they don't qualify for tax credits because they are married and their DHs work also.

But what they don't realise is that I am paying exactly the same bills (council tax, mortgage, food, utilities, petrol etc) on only one income whereas they have 2. So I NEED the help otherwise I wouldnt be able to afford to work iyswim.

I would understand your mother's POV if you were single, didn't work and were just sitting around claiming income support but you're not. So what's the problem?

try - i totally agree. Shes phoned me back - she said i am being over senstive and she didnt include me in her rant. I said to her that i am a single mother and i do claim tax credits so i am included in what she was saying and she ought to think about that. I said to her, when i kicked my useless husband out that i had two choices: go on to total benefits and council house, or to work. Yes i get help in th eform of tax credits, but it will cost the govt less to do that that to provide total uspport if i had gone totally on benefits. That if i didnt have the support i would be in the gutter as i would not earn enough to live. She then continued her rant about aslymn seekers and people on disability and how they should all be greatful for the handouts they get and that her partner should not be peaniliese for working is whole life and should not be taxed on what help he did get.
I told her she was ignorant and arrogant and maybe she too should be greatful for the help they did recieve and not moan about it.
I cant belive in this day and age there are still people that think like this.
The truth is sometimes life throws you a curveball and the govt should be there to support the vunerable. I understand the people may get frustrated if people play the system, but i believe the the majority of cases this is not true.
I am quite quite angry at her.

COMEWINEWITHME....does your LP sister not get CTC then ?? Its still a tax credit, just not WTC

Sorry yes she does get ctc but not wtc but it is not good enough .

nope I would have done too!

I am so tired of people thinking that because you have kids you are handed out money - yes we get more oh yes because we have more mouths to feed more clothes to find less ability to work our guts out (in a paid sense)

As a singe mum I got some extras - I had friends who said the same thing oh you're so lucky!
oh yea it's great I have to do the work of two people when I'm just one person but I get fifty quid a week "extra" so that's ok!
My mum used to "joke" that I'd done it on purpose because it meant I could claim
yes I loved living in a one bedroom flat with my baby.

These days I'm no longer single I can't say I've ever thought that the "extras" were favourable.

Maybe this is the push you need to be more open if you are upset

YANBU.... I wish I had the guts to put the phone down on my mum more often. Maybe she'd shut up about how my sister's life is:

a) so much harder than mine, financially (she spends like mad on stuff she doesn't need, smokes like a chimney (even when pregnant ) and moans when she has no cash to pay rent.

b) how I don't know how lucky I am (I do, I have lovely husband and gorgeous DS)

c) how I don't know what it's like to really struggle (we struggle along like everyone else. DH does earn just enough for me to be a SAHM, but we budget like mad to be able to afford food / mortgage / bills etc) we've also had our fair share of struggles like everyone else.

It does my head in.