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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In wanting to take my children to the park witout hearing other children swearing?

12 replies

Marne · 17/04/2009 15:56

Ok here goes,

Last week when the weather was nice i thought i would venture up the other end of our village to the park/playground with the dd's (aged 5 and 3). When we got there the park was full of boys (aged 9-10) which dd1 goes to school with, they all said hi to dd1, i put dd2 on the swing, the boys started swearing at each other (for no real reason), each time a boy spoke out came another swear word, they were calling each other Bitches and using the F word in every sentence.

Another boy told the boys to shut up as there were little ones in the park, the boys swore back at him. Next one picked up a metal bar and started swinging it towards another boy, dd1 was stood very close to him, another picked up a huge rock and threatened to though it at another boy . I called dd1 over and we went home, dd1 was upset that we had to leave early . I felt if i stayed any longer i would have said something to the boys (which i didn't want to do as it was likely one of the parents would of come out and have a go at me).

The park is just in front of a row of council houses where there is always trouble, i was so pleased to get back to our end of the village where my dd could play (in our garden) with out hearing the bad language.

I was really upset that these children thought it was ok to talk to each other like that, where did they learn such bad behaviour?

OP posts:
cory · 17/04/2009 15:58

perhaps their mums have been on MN

LittleHarrysMum · 17/04/2009 16:02

How horrible!!

I took DS (2.8) to the park a couple of weeks ago and a group of boys came in (9-10ish) and I could see them hanging out by the slide which we'd just been on. When they left DS went to the slide and I saw that they had graffitied (sp?) all over the slide words like ct, wanker, f* etc. And my DS kept asking where the writing came from and what it said

Really gets on my nerves!!

RumourOfAHurricane · 17/04/2009 16:11

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screamingabdab · 17/04/2009 16:11

Marne It's a shame you felt you couldn't say something to them. Sounds a bit scary.

Of course you were there and you can judge the situation better than me, but I might have said something.

The fact that one of them warned his friends suggests they did know what they were doing was crossing the line. I find, if you are really smiley, polite, but firm, you can get older boys to behave. I would just try something like " Hey guys, can you mind the language in front of the little ones, please?"

9/10 time when I've done this (with boys - girls are a different matter - I've had a positive response).

If you don't say anything, then they get the message that they are powerful.

BTW I live in East London, and have 2 DSs myself.

screamingabdab · 17/04/2009 16:14

great minds shine

Marne · 17/04/2009 16:18

I wish i was brave enough to , i'm a bit of a wimp and i didn't want dd1 to pick up on what was going on because she would have got upset, luckily she didn't notice the swearing as she was too busy playing.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 17/04/2009 16:21

this happened to me recenlty and i confronted a group swearing whislt i was in the playground with DS

they were effing and blinding really badly - (C U N T etc)

i asked them to stop and soem of them apologised but a couple of them still carried on

in the end i left, but not before giving them a piece of my mind (politely i hasten to add)

screamingabdab · 17/04/2009 16:27

good on you ruby Marne I totally understand you not wanting to upset your DD, but as my DS1 has got older (he's 8), I've got braver. I see that some of the time, with boys of the age we're talking about, it's all just mindless pack behaviour, and they are crying out for an adult to tell them where the line is.

DandyLioness · 17/04/2009 16:28

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rubyslippers · 17/04/2009 16:29

i so agree re the pack mentality abdab

what was so aggravating is that the playground is on a huge green - acres of the stuff so why they need to congregate on the swings is beyond me

but then i don't remember what it was like to be a teenager

screamingabdab · 17/04/2009 16:35

I am trying so hard at the moment to feel more positive about teenagers. They are just little kids inside ( ..... actually, some of them are evil trolls).

If you are scared of them, you give them too much power

I think it's because I can really see the teenager my DSs will become. Really, they like being in groups because it makes them feel safe and confident, and they do still want to play (hence the swings). They need more places to hang out.

pointydog · 17/04/2009 16:35

the few times this came up with me when the dds were little, I asked the older children really nicely if they could watch their language as there were little childrne about, and they did.

It is definit;ly worth asking.

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