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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed that DH will be away most of the weekend attending a wedding that is "no kids"?

17 replies

chinateacup · 17/04/2009 11:31

Annoyed at the bride and groom, that is, not at DH.Our son is only 4 months old . . .

OP posts:
tessofthedurbervilles · 17/04/2009 11:34

Their wedding, their call completely, if you felt that strongly then dh should have declined invite.
When people get married its up to them what they want and if that means people cannot attend / get the hump then it is the risk the bride and groom take....

namechangerforareason · 17/04/2009 11:36

Have to agree with tess, Their wedding their rules. I am sure you are not the only one affected by this. Agree your DH should have declined invite if you feel so strongly about it.
So IMO YABU but I do understand how frustrated you must be

traceybath · 17/04/2009 11:38

yabu.

Dh will be at a wedding in august when i will have a newborn and 2 other small children but its a very close friend of his.

dinosaur · 17/04/2009 11:39

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

chinateacup · 17/04/2009 11:42

Hmm. I suppose you're both right. I guess I'm just being precious about weekends. Shame on me

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 17/04/2009 11:43

I'm afraid you are.

I sympathise though.

IorekByrnison · 17/04/2009 12:06

The whole no kids at weddings thing is wretched imo. Don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

TrillianAstra · 17/04/2009 12:08

I can understand choosing have no running-around kids at weddings but a tiny little baby who dosn't need food or entertainment wouldn't be that much trouble (assuming the parents are considerate people who would take him to another room if he were crying loudly).

But YAB a bit U. If you didn't want DH to go you should have discussed this in advance.

Thunderduck · 17/04/2009 12:09

YABU.

everGreensleeves · 17/04/2009 12:14

I don't think we can say that YABU to be annoyed - I don't think we can say somebody's feelings are unreasonable.

I think it would be a bit unreasonable to try and stop your dh from going - but I would feel the same as you. I think "child-free weddings" are soulless and weird. And I hate all this "their day" shit as well. You can't OWN a day. You don't get to treat your family and friends like pawns for a day and behave like a spoilt wanker.

I was touched and delighted that people weathered the expense and the distance to come and celebrate with me. I can't eimagine issuing bossy edicts about leaving little babies at home in case they spoil "My Day"

Nancy66 · 17/04/2009 12:14

I would say more couples than not specify 'no kids' at weddings.

My friend's wedding is in a couple of weeks and she's asked for no kids at the church service but they're welcome at the reception and has provided a creche where the kids can be left during the service - which I think is pretty darn reasonable.

dinosaur · 17/04/2009 12:17

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everGreensleeves · 17/04/2009 12:18

My baby niece farted sonorously throughout the ceremony when I got married. But we weren't childish/brittle enough to get uptight about it - it was funny.

dinosaur · 17/04/2009 12:21

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zipzap · 17/04/2009 22:21

I think it can also depend on what stage of your life you get married in relation to your friends and family. If you are one of the first, then chances are there won't be lots of kids to invite.

If you get married later, when lots of your friends and family have had kids, you can suddenly be looking at almost doubling the numbers of people that you want to attend.

And with the best will in the world, it isn't always possible to find a big enough venue that you like at a reasonable cost etc etc and compromises have to be made. If you have fixed numbers and it is a choice between inviting all your friends and no children or half your friends and their children and leaving out half your friends then what would you do? Whatever you chose you can't please everybody (or necessarily yourself) but that is sometimes the nature of compromise.

I have a friend who, because of limited numbers at the place that she was holding the reception, had made the decision not to invite children (also because it was a late afternoon wedding and an evening reception). She had made an effort and sorted out a baby sitting sort of service for friends that had to travel with kids but it wasn't at the place the reception was being held - and they could come to the church if they wanted to, plus tiny babies could come to the wedding.

Despite being told this, her MIL-to be invited some young family children that had not been invited , delayed telling friend until after plane tickets and all sorts of arrangements had been made. Led to a big argument with friend who then had to un-invite some of her friends that had already been invited... Got her off to a bad start with her MIL and put her in a really difficult situation with some friends.

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/04/2009 00:03

obv your bubba is little and you dont want to leave him for a long time with anyone/gp's etc

but is there a way that you can go, stay at a local travel lodge and get a nanny in to babysit for the evening part?

it is up to the wedding couple if they invite children or not,and maybe if they had, then their numbers will double (know mine would have) so we said no - plus all of my friends and relatives enjoyed a childfree pissed day and night

cat64 · 18/04/2009 00:43

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