to feel bitter that my DH is redundant?

[thisweathersajoke]

My lovely DH has been made redundant again for the 3rd time in one year (catering).

Our marriage feels like it is breaking under the pressure, we have a beautiful 9mth old boy who must be picking up on the vibes and i just can't get my head around whats going on.

I know it is my job to support him - and believe me I have - but this time I just feel numb and its hard to keep telling him it's not his fault, when the tiniest doubts are creeping in.....arghhh.

I have 2 part time jobs and am trying to do my bit.

Please be kind x

Just wanted to add sympathies. My DH was made redundant for the second time in 3.5years last week. Both times he had very little notice. Nothing to do with his skills, just big companies having less money and not being able to afford him anymore.
I was pregnant with DD the first time, and he took it hard but bounced back with a new job after three months. This time we've decided we don't want him to take a job he's not interested in only to be made redundant again so he's going to try going freelance. We'll see how it works out.
All the best to you. Don't forget to check what benefits you might be entitled to.

Ugggg I'm so sorry to hear about your DH ThisWeathers (and everyone else for that matter). We're in the same boat. DH was made redundant in Feb and there hasn't been anything on the horizon since then. He has one lead now but it will take a while to get going (if it does actually get going).

Its really tough but I am trying excrutiatingly hard to compliment him and encourage him to try and do things around the house, go visit with his mates, etc. I noticed that when I got stressy with him we would have huge rows so I changed the way I am with him and its made a huge difference.

I know that he already feels like crap and with our first baby on the way feels like less of a man because he can't "provide" for us.

With regards to the arguing - if you are really worried think about trying relate. We used them the year we moved in together, bought a house and then the bottom dropped out of DH's (then) freelance market - I honestly thought we would split up but it really helped us express ourselves without rowing. In fact worked so well we got engaged 3 months in!

Hang in there - this recession sucks and unfortunately there's nothing we can do about it!

Thoughts with all in the same boat and thans for the kind msg.

Dh has started a trial at a restaurant this weekend, seems OK so far but really is only a stop gap I think. Jyst so grateful that he has been getting some interviews and some positive feedback which has helped his self esteem.

Still arguing like mad, but had a day out with DS at the park and that really cheered us up, to be out of the house.

Have been thinking about turning this negative experience (3 times!!!!) into a positive one by setting up a support group in my local area, as there seems nothing available to support those going through redundancy - emotionally more than practically.

I know that i would have appreciated some support.

Thanks MN for keeping me sane!

x

I hope it gets better for you guys soon. DH has a appt with the GP tomorrow as he didnt know where else to turn he is so depressed - he's been out of work since January, he's not elligible for JSA as I work 16hrs a week, and we're in the process of being evicted from our home and waiting for the council to rehouse us as my wages dont even cover the rent and the landlord wasnt willing to resign our tenancy with only 1/2 the rent being paid by housing benefit. Because he was SE we also arent eligible for as much tax credits, so we're really clutching at straws and hoping things happen soon.

Apparently we're right in the middle of this recession, so only another 18m to go.......

My DH is getting made redundant end of May. We were in the shit financially even before this little announcement. I was made redundant from a hateful job June 2007 and havent found anything since. Sleepless I am not too far from you and can indeed confirm that there is cock all out there, whatever field you are looking in. Me and DH now racing to see who can get a job first. Oh and he was made red in Nov 05 too, when our dd was 2mo. That was fun.

thisweather- meant to say commiserations and hope something turns up, but was too busy with my own pity party, sorry!

natt82, sorry to hear of your situation.

Is your dh eligible for contributions-based JSA? That is AFAIK not means-tested or affected by the second income.