to feel upset about family trying to rip my dad off?

[whethergirl]

My dad used to be married to my cousin's wife's mum (for just a few years). My dad and my cousin fell out over something business related some years ago. I have always tried to maintain a distance in family feuds and don't like to get involved and am one of the few who isn't on non-talking terms with anyone. I do get on well with my cousin and his wife and see them when I can.

Although seperated some years ago, the divorce is just going through and my dad just emailed to say that his ex wants a divorce on condition he buy her house for £150k. My dad is absoloutely furious and I know he doesn't have this kind of money - he would have to sell his properties that he rents out which is basically his pension. Even I don't own my own house and on benefits.

My dad has just now emailed me to ask that I stop all contact with my cousin, his wife and her mother. He wrote a very emotional email, obviously raging, I quote "Nobody can hurt me without hurting you. unless you don't have any feelings for me as your father".

I am a bit hurt that anyone would try to take the piss out of my dad, and also everyone knows that I am struggling financially so this is bound to have an effect on me, my dad's properties are the only thing he has to leave behind for his children. I am quite surprised cos my dad's ex always thought the world of me.

Am I being unreasonable to feel that they are being two faced and deceitful? That they are not thinking twice about the consequences this will have on my life?

No, it's your dad putting you in this position. Refuse to be put there.

The courts will decide how they marital assets will be split.

I would stay out of it if I were you and see them if and when you want. Don't be guilted into anything by your dad.

And support him too in other ways

That's definitely a good way of looking at things, thanks Laurie. And I do feel my dad has put me in a position, he shouldn't have mentioned it to me really, involving me in the divorce details.

However, I feel that it would be strange, since I do now know, not to mention anything to them (my cousin, his wife and her mother) but don't know how to approach it. I'm a single parent on housing benefit, my DREAM is to have my own home and they know it. My only chance is through my dad. I know that might not sound great, and if it wasn't for my son then I wouldn't even be thinking along those lines. And they may have fallen out with my dad, but this is MY dad after all. Like I said, they were only married a few years, it'd be different if it was 12 years of marriage or something.