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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be slightly annoyed at my best mate?

37 replies

heverhoney1 · 16/04/2009 20:28

Can someone tell me if I am being all hormonal and unreasonable to be annoyed that when I told my friend that I was not comfortable travelling too far from home (i.e a bus, a train and another bus) at 38 weeks pregnant as I was worried about going into labour, she told me that she thought i was being "Extreme" but that it was up to me!

OP posts:

ssd · 17/04/2009 08:44

once a friend of mine hung up the phone on dh when she called me and he said sorry she's putting the kids to bed and this friend hung up the phone in a huff.....................actually I'm still annoyed at her for this (shes 40 and no kids..)

Original poster

heverhoney1 · 17/04/2009 12:31

Ah I am letting it go now. It just annoyed me becuse I had just spent large parts of the day trying to figure out a way to cheer her up a bit. Even when I think some of the things she gets worked up about are from her own doing (Or lack of willingness to actually do something to make it better). I dont say that to her so why she felt the need to comment on where and when I should and shouldnt be travelling is beyond me!

OP posts:

MsMargotBeauregarde · 17/04/2009 18:25

Well, now that you know that YANBU, I hope it helps!

Morloth · 17/04/2009 18:33

Oh hell no, you don't want to be wandering around at that stage. Agree with everyone else that the instinct to stay put is very strong by the time you get there.

hereidrawtheline · 17/04/2009 18:40

YANBU

I had DS at 36 weeks! You are ripe to deliver at any time so you should not be commuting like that, especially if you feel reluctant! You need to be near your things and your hospital and your hospital bag and your family etc.

I am sure she will blush over this in years to come, we dont all get it before it happens to us, I know when I was (admittedly) 19 I was an idiot when my friend got pregnant I just didnt understand why she talked of nothing else. I am over that and have also said sorry to her for my lack of interest at the time and I do feel bad for it... well in proportion I mean it wasnt the crime of the century I just didnt want to pore over baby mags etc as a good friend should!

RaspberryBlower · 17/04/2009 18:42

YA defintely NBU. I could barely walk the length of myself at that stage and I gave birth at 38 weeks.

Original poster

heverhoney1 · 20/04/2009 14:28

I have realised that its not me being unreasonable because now I am starting to get really worried about my friend - she is not behaving like herself and is being very self centered and unreasonable herself. I know this is because she is down but I dont know how to help her without risking making it worse.

Last night she wanted to come round to drop something off. I haad been at a family do all day and was shattered so I said that I was sorry but it wasnt really a good Idea as I was going to bed, but that she could come around any day during the week or next weekend. HEr reply was to say that she didnt know when she could fit it in- so I said there was no rush and anytime was ok. Her reply to this was that she wanted the "thing" out of her way and that it was on her mind. How exactly do I win in that situation?

OP posts:

ahfeckit · 20/04/2009 14:35

tbh I was still driving my car at 41 weeks when I was preggers, so it didn't really bother me. I would have used a train or a bus if I didn't drive. YAB a tad U.
I carried on with life as normal when I was pregnant transport-wise, keeping busy etc. You could go into labour from 38 weeks, but then again, you may be overdue.

Original poster

heverhoney1 · 20/04/2009 15:11

oh I still drive my car its not like I am housebound. I would use a bus in the local area - I do however feel that being THAT far away from my labour bag, partner, hospital, any support would not be a good idea especially as a first timer.

OP posts:

ahfeckit · 20/04/2009 15:58

but I thought in a previous post you said that she lives a few mins away?? I'd agree with you it was unreasonable if you were travelling in a train for hours, to meet a friend. But if it's only a mile or two from home it's not really that far away is it?

Original poster

heverhoney1 · 20/04/2009 23:39

She does only live a couple of mins away but when she said I was being "Extreme" it was in relation to me not wanting to go into uni which is a bus, a train another bus and a walk away! The thing about her popping over was that I said I wasnt available on the night she asked but was free any other time- I was made to feel like I was being awkward!

OP posts:

ahfeckit · 21/04/2009 20:33

ah ok, got the picture now. YANBU in that respect. hope you sort it out together, being friends is hard work sometimes!!

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