to tell DD to go hungry?

[PMSLBrokeMN]

She told me earlier she didn't want a sandwich for lunch, she hates the bread I bought. FFS she came with me to the Co-op this morning and fetched it off the shelf for me, why couldn't she say something then? Now she's accusing me of all sorts because I said that she could either have a sandwich or go hungry until dinner - she's 11 not 3, I don't need this kind of blackmail!

What would you do with a kid that age in those circumstances? And if she decides to skulk off to her room with her mobile and call the NSPCC/whoever do you think they'll be down on me like a ton of bricks?

I very much doubt it !

It's not like you are literally starving her .... she is choosing not to eat the sandwich you're offering.

Ignore her.

i would probably give her a choice between something unappealing and a sandwich. but then i'm a bit mean like that

I do this to mine, and they're 4 and 3!

Ignore her. at least she'll eat her supper

I would just repeat the offer-the sandwich or nothing. She won't starve even if she choses nothing.

Turning it down because she doesn't like the bread?! Obviously not very hungry ...

She won't starve in the couple of hours till supper. I have been known to do this with DS who is 4 when he is playing up (this is the meal, it's what you asked for, if you don't eat it you don't get anything else until the next mealtime).

Point her in the direction of the fruit bowl.

Stick to your guns, DD is coming up 3 & I do this with her, if you don't eat the lunch/dinner that's been cooked then there's nothing else I'm afraid.

Do the same with DH too

My friend has 4 children & always pandered (sp??) to them - she now cooks FIVE different meals at dinner time

Thanks for the support, it's nearly the end of the Easter hols here and I think she's just picking a fight. I'm just at the end of my tether with one thing and another, mostly DC-related, and I've been a bit snappy the last couple of days! I just wondered if I'd gone too far, it's been running through my mind that there are a few things she used to eat quite happily and now she's saying she hates, hopefully she's just being a 'normal' preteen and not going anorexic on me.

and lljkk, good suggestion - I've made a rule that after 7.30 the kitchen is closed, DC have been known to resort to fruit as the bowl's not in the kitchen, poor loves!

PMSL - can she not make something herself that she does want??

Thanks, yes she usually makes her own lunch so she has control, we don't always have lots to choose from as her brother has multiple allergies and we just can't afford to have a whole range of food available. Actually the more I think about it the more I can see why she's being like this, I just don't want her to use food as a control issue.

YANBU

this is how I operate the meals system in my house from about the age of 3

you eat what is offered or go hungry

we don't have fussy eaters here

Let her go hungry! My house operates the same way as AnyFucker's. No fussy eaters here either...

Just remind her of the number of Childline: 0800 1111. Usually works with mine...

hand her the phone....

Fwiw- I've found age 11-12 to be far worse an age (so far) than older (I have a 15 and a 14 yr old as well). My 11 yr old is far worse for unreasonable behaviour than the older two, and they went through a difficult patch at about 11.

Yep I would say sandwich or nothing!!

lljkk - I've used the fruit bowl method at times too but wish I hadn't. I think they've started to see it as more of a punishment now and don't like to eat as much fruit as they used to.

Ahhhhh kids eh? Who'd have 'em?