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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want my 15 mo to have beer?

22 replies

PrammyMammy · 16/04/2009 11:57

I don't think iabu in the least really. But i am a but at the reaction of everyone else.
DP, DS and i went out for lunch with PIL. Fil ordered a bottle of beer with his food. DS, who has an obsession with bottles since he no longer has one, was in the highchair sat between me and fil. Ds kept gesturing towards the bottle, like he does with any bottles, so i got up to get his cup from his bag, i heard fil saying look, look, turned round and he was giving ds a drink of his beer. I was shocked, and said, 'don't you dare, what are you thinking?' both dps parents were laughing loudly, dp was just shaking his head AT ME but i was so angry.
Later on in the day, i was outside with ds playing and they were talking about the drink, mil brought up that i was only bothered because it wasn't my parents. This is so not true, if anything i would have reacted worse with my own parents.
PIL like a drink, and that is their thing, it doesn't bother me what they want to do, but it does bother me when they want to feed my ds beer.
Nothing else was said about it from me, only at the lunch. So i didn't go ott or fall out with anyone. But dp things i am being daft, and his parents think i am mental and his mum thinks i should say sorry because i embarrassed fil and ruined his day.

OP posts:
bronze · 16/04/2009 12:00

Its illegal for a start so you can definitely take the high ground.

SlightlyMadStirrup · 16/04/2009 12:01

It is illegal for a child to be given alcohol

rubyslippers · 16/04/2009 12:02

a drink or did the bottle touch his lips???

either way, if you weren't happy with them doing it, then they shouldn't have done

why did your DP not back you up?

Tee2072 · 16/04/2009 12:04

Are you serious? Even DH thinks that's okay?

YANBU. But you know that. And if it was my DH? We'd be having words.

BettySwollux · 16/04/2009 12:05

Dont apologise to FIL for 'ruining his day' , I think he's a bit of a tosser finding it so funny to give babies alcohol.
YANBU

StealthPolarBear · 16/04/2009 12:07

I think it's from 5 yo when a child can have alcohol at home.
Difficult to poilce though - sherry trifle? Christmas cake and pudding? (DS has had that )
I don't think yabu!

PrammyMammy · 16/04/2009 12:07

both ds and fil were holding the bottle and his head was straight back with bottle in the air, so he def got some. it was also down his chin and on his top, probably because he has never had a glass bottle to drink from and beer is horrible lol.
I didn't know it actually was illegal but did say to dp that it was illegal when backing my case. Don't know why dp can't see my point, he said he saw from the look on his dads face that i'd hurt him and he didn't mean any harm so no big deal.

OP posts:
SlightlyMadStirrup · 16/04/2009 12:07

law

For some reason it is legal to give a 5yo alcohol .....

StealthPolarBear · 16/04/2009 12:09

presumably for exaclty the reasons I mention - although technically I should be prosecuted for letting my 2yo have christmas pudding!

MadamDeathstare · 16/04/2009 12:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mychildrenarebarmy · 16/04/2009 12:12

There are many words to describe what yuo fil did but idiotic is probably the politest I can think of! As others have said it is illegal to give a child under 5 alcohol. I am amazed you were as restrained as you managed to be! YANBU

Simplysally · 16/04/2009 12:13

YANBU. I hate it when people give other people's babies or children alcohol and think it no problem. Mind would it have been any better if he'd dipped his fingers in the beer and fed your ds the beer off them?

PrammyMammy · 16/04/2009 12:13

Thanks slightlymad, i might print it out and stick it to the fridge for their next visit.[devilface]

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 16/04/2009 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrammyMammy · 16/04/2009 12:15

eww i don't know sally, but for some reason that sounds worse. Fingers.

OP posts:
PrammyMammy · 16/04/2009 12:17

yeah shine, it was meant to be a joke. Lol i didn't think it would turn ds into an alcoholic though.

OP posts:
jugglingwoman · 16/04/2009 12:18

Not that I'd be slightly bitter (no pun intended) but, if my DH did that with my child, I'd have spent the next week saying 'oh he doesn't normally do that' and make him panic that every negative (normal silly 3 year old) aspect of his behaviour is related to the beer...

HensMum · 16/04/2009 12:18

How did your DS react? I can't imagine my 18 month old being too thrilled at getting a mouthful of beer.

RumourOfAHurricane · 16/04/2009 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Simplysally · 16/04/2009 12:23

I am a snob but I'd ask that they use a glass next time. I dislike seeing people swigging beer out of bottles. How uncouth .

My sister dipped her fingers in the champagne cava at my daughter's christening to feed her some when it was the toast. When I objected I was told it was a family custom. first I'd heard of it.

PrammyMammy · 16/04/2009 12:23

My ds didn't mind, seems it's only me with the issue tbh. He was only happy to get a drink from a bottle.
I doubt it will happen again though, he asked my dp if i would have said the same if ds was 16 (years old).

OP posts:
seekinginspiration · 16/04/2009 12:25

Oh PramyMammy, know that you are definitely right. Tell DH how much more knowledgeable we are as parents now and get him to tell FiL. Why would anyone want to put a toxin into a small child ?

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