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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

moral dilemma - wwyd?

56 replies

elportodelgato · 15/04/2009 22:31

Not to give too many details...

DH & I have just spent £150.00 on an item for the family which we bought online. It has just arrived today and the company have instead sent us a completely different item which is worth considerably more (around £600.00) but which we don't want or need.

My first instinct is just to call them, tell them they have made a mistake and arrange for them to take the expensive thing away and give us the thing we actually want, even though this will be a major hassle for me, sitting around waiting for a courier with a rather active 10mo in our little flat.

My DH thinks maybe instead we should keep quiet, sell the expensive item on ebay and then buy the item we actually want again. Would this be totally morally reprehensible? It is the company's fault that they have sent us the wrong thing so we're wondering if we could do this, although this makes me feel a bit ill - and surely someone would find out??

WWYD?

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 15/04/2009 22:51

you know the right thing to do...

i would send back and let them know mistake.

can we know what thing is?

tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 22:54

thinking about it, it must make a difference if they have genuinely sent you the wrong thing - eg a porsche 911 instead of the ford focus you ordered. But hopefully the BERR site deals with this. I think, sadly, that there is a difference between real unsolicited goods, and something you ordered that turned out to be something better sent by mistake.

Rafi · 15/04/2009 22:58

Does that count though, FluffyBunny? It talks about cancellation of requested items but not about how to deal with incorrect items...

M&S sent us three babygros in an order once, not much use to our 8-year-old DD . When I phoned, they asked me to drop them in at our local store. The poor woman on Customer Services was utterly bemused that I was giving her these things & didn't want anything back.
"I can't refund your money unless you have a receipt."
"No, that's ok, I didn't pay for them. They just came with our order."
"Are you sure they weren't a free gift? Would you like to keep them?"
"No, I don't have a baby, I want to give them back to you."
"Oh, I'll have to ask my manager..."

tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 23:02

I think the non-legal answer is that you try to do what you can to get them to pick them up without putting yourself out. No reason for you to do so. And eventually, get them to agree, in writing ideally, that yes you can keep the thing.

If it's a big company, they will be more worried about their systems being wrong and sending you the wrong thing, than about you having the wrong thing. You might even find them saying, fine, keep the wrong one, here's a right one anyway (result!).

But I think not saying anything, now you've noticed the difference, won't cut it and you would be worried.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 15/04/2009 23:05

Yes, it all applies. Hold on.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 15/04/2009 23:12

It's covered by the Theft Act, it's theft. If you went into a shop and they gave you too much change, you noticed and left, this is theft. Theft is the 'intention to permanently deprive', (see here)

Legally and moraly, you have to phone them up. Sorry. The law's a minefield.

tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 23:18

Blimey, there's an implied split infinitive in the Theft Act.

Sorry about the hijack. Are you a lawyer, Fluffy?

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 15/04/2009 23:21

Umm. I did a law degree, worked in a law firm until I got bored, then digressed a bit.

tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 23:22

Sounds good to me. I didn't digress but it's a long time since I had to think about the Theft Act.

Recognise the bored bit

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 15/04/2009 23:24

Ohh, I did commercial property (telephone mast licences), wasn't quite why I wanted to do law. The novelty wore off vey quickly. I do miss the other stuff now though. I loved criminal law. The shoe fetish cases were ace!

tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 23:26

Err, ok, yes, I can see why that didn't grab you. Fortunately I qualified in the last recession but one, so didn't do any property work in my articles (as they then were).

Give you a clue what I do know: an album by the Kaiser Chiefs.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 15/04/2009 23:28

I have not long done a MSc in Environmental management (sort of), it's all law and pollution. No one's bloody building or cleaning up contaminated land now though are they so this too was a bloody waste of time!

I'm not hot on the Kaiser Chiefs. I need a hint.

ShowOfHands · 15/04/2009 23:28

It's absolutely theft. Dishonest appropriation of goods with the intention to permanently deprive.

It's not a moral dilemma at all. It's legal. Phone them up tomorrow.

tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 23:31

Fluffy - environmental will be big once pty starts moving again, was discussing this with a colleague today who is an environmental lawyer (and commercial property, so he is not a busybunny). Hang on in there with your WEEEs.

Ok. another clue.

[.....] on the chain gang. Fill in the gap and then guess.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 15/04/2009 23:45

lol! I have tried for 12 months to get some unpaid work experience. No chance!

Need another clue. PI? Prop? EU? HR?

tigerdriver · 15/04/2009 23:51

Employment. Have done it for the last, er, 17 yrs or so. It's the only law I could do, most of it isn't law, it's psychology and strategy.

Have you reg'd with an agency? I bet you could get some paralegal work, and honestly I think the environmental stuff will be worthwhile even if not right now cos of the pty market.

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 15/04/2009 23:55

I like employment. It was one of the few I was really good at. I did register with Blue pencil but don't hear from them. I'm doing a course at Uni at the moment, it's funded by the NHS so at least I have something coming in. My legal job was shite to be honest, I was pleased to go. No supervision, no guidance, nothing except for a shit load of photocopying and a boss that would leave me with nothing to do for 6 hours, then turn up at 3 and expect me to stay over if she needed. Hard when you have a child to collect. I tend to get brain death if I'm bored and this job was boring. It did put me off, I need to be kept busy.

tigerdriver · 16/04/2009 00:02

That sounds like a horrid experience - enough to put you off.

Don't really know what to suggest, apart from try a few good (good reputation) agencies.

Lots of firms will be looking for paralegals atm as a cheaper option to trainees, and this could be a good time for you.

HTH

(off to bed)

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 16/04/2009 00:05

Hmm. Interesting.

Night.

Plonker · 16/04/2009 00:11

I don't quite understand the moral dilemma here.

If you keep it, it's theft. Simple.

Original poster
elportodelgato · 16/04/2009 07:56

thanks all, you've convinced me - am going to call them this morning

OP posts:
Baisey · 16/04/2009 08:11

I would let them know, purely because its not what I ordered.
However if the company is a large company, they wont be phoning you asking where it is, they have no proof that it was delivered to you, purely speculation so they wouldnt want to accuse you. They will just write if off as a loss and forget about it.
Still in these hard economic times the loss of £600 is quite substantial so I would feel quite guilty, dh wouldnt though lol.

Sbeanmum · 16/04/2009 08:38

You know the right thing to do, but I'm enjoying the post!

Out of curiosity, why do some people think that it's OK to hang onto the item if it's from a large company, but not OK if it's a small business? Theft is still theft, no?

Keeping small businesses in business is laudable, but spare a thought for employees of large businesses please.... may I remind you all of the many folks who have recently lost jobs at Woolworths.

Here's a thought - what if the OP is very rich, or if the OP is very poor, would that change people's views on whether she should retain the item or not?

ShowOfHands · 16/04/2009 08:59

I've had this debate on here before. I too do not understand the big business versus small business distinction. I am always surprised by the 'they're a big business', 'I've given them enough money over the years (well, yes, that's generally how purchasing works)' or 'my friend Bob had a terrible time with their customer service'. I would have more respect for somebody who acknowledged it was theft without the excuses and still kept the item. The excuses always amaze me.

Big, small, rich, poor, it's all the same to me. Theft is theft.

Yours,

The Copper's Wife.

ItsMargotBeaurEGGarde · 16/04/2009 14:23

I disagree that theft is theft actually.

Stealing food when you're hungry is theft but it's far less wrong and less greedy than keeping quiet about being in possession of something expensive that you never ordered with the intention to sell it on ebay.

So no, theft is not theft. It isn't that simple. Also, there is a huge difference between knowing that a huge corporation made slightly less profit than they usually do, and knowing that a family business is wracking it's brains trying to figure out why books don't stack up.

However, if I were OP, I'd still return it because it's not worth the little scratch/wrinkle on your conscience that this will be.