to expect a wee bit of a fuss for my 40th birthday?

[Bomper]

Think there may be a family meal on the cards but that will be the day after (my big day is on a Fri) with nothing actually happening on the day. I don't want to be a prima-donna about it but am feeling a bit pouty!!

I too would pout.

Go away Friday night somewhere fancy?

Can you organise something yourself on the day? Nothing too stressful, maybe get a few mates over, or go out for a drink?

Book yourself into a spa for the day and then go shopping and have the girls meet you for a nice night out.

I am going to have the same situation in July.

If you want something done, do it yourself! I mean that in the nicest possible way, of course, I did my own! I always make cakes for my family, but I never get one from them, which is always a little disappointing.

(Note to self: That roundabout just before the village hasn't seen a bedsheet banner for a while.... )

I'm dreading mine in May. I don't like fuss and i really don't enjoy parties as i've never been properly drunk as i either get ill or fall asleep!
I would love to just go away for a romantic weekend with DH, but we don't have any relatives that can care for the kids for two nights and days .
A spa day sounds great though!

yanbu..I felt really down on the morning of my 40th,as I had nothing planned,was pregnant so couldnt really drink.Kept thinking I should be doing something huge..so much is made of the BIG 40! Went out and spent some bday money on a belly casting kit. Was caked in plaster and guff when my waters broke! Spent that night in hospital..had ds 3 days later! Will never forget my 40th.
Have you got time to plan something? Maybe try something mad youve never done before..dont know where you live..white water rafting, a bungee jump,horse riding, whatever, as long as it`s memorable, and a meal and drink in the evening.

I've started planning mine already because if I don't no bugger else will, my 30th is still a bit fresh in my mind, a service station card and a kiss.

No, YANBU, and I know how you feel. My birthday is the week before Christmas, so you'd think that I was used to it being ignored/overshadowed, but I couldn't be arsed doing anything because I really didn't have the oomph to chase people to come to a night out/party/meal the week before Christmas only to be told they were skint/going to a works do/seeing family. So, I told people I wasn't doing anything unless they wanted to organise it for me.

My circle of "aquaintances" did nothing, the folks at work did nothing (everyone elses "milestone birthday" being marked with a collection/present/meal or at least a card) and my sister got half a dozen people round at hers for a Sunday afternoon get together which was sprung on me and was a nice surprise, but meant I was at my own birthday party with "Sunday hair", no make-up and in children-stained clothes because I thought we were going to my sisters so that DP could look at her "poorly" computer. I did have a great time, and my really good friends were there, so I am very grateful to my sister for doing it, but over all, from the others around me (work colleagues and DP's friends who are apparently my friends too) it was utterly ignored, and yes, I am pouty about it. (perhaps I'm just not very popular really which I can't believe as I am utterly lovely!!)

Is there anyone you can drop hints too about wanting to be spoiled a bit, have a cake etc on the day?? No-ones birthday should be ignored, even if it's not a "big" one, it's still important as it's one of those rare times when we should be the centre of attention, it doesn't have to be a bed-sheet banner, or bunting in the street, but a cake and presents and a few people is not really too much to ask, surely?

Well, spurred on by your lovely comments, I emailed dh (who is on nights at mo) asking what hours he was doing on my birthday and whether it was poss to go out for a meal, he mailed back saying he was doing 9 - 5.30 that day, so a meal should be poss, I then replied saying should I book somewhere or would he do it and surprise me, and he mailed back saying 'No, I'll do it...hint, hint' So maybe I should trust him a bit more!! Problem is, his family did diddly squat for his 40th last year, and although I did my bit for him, I was really angry with them and think I am paranoid I will get the same!!

Maureen - better get your spray cans out my love!!!

Well it's mine in 2010 and I have already decided that I am having a party. If I wait for DH "I hate parties" to do it, then I'll wait for ever.

My rule of thumb is it's ok to have as big a fuss as you like for your birthday, but it's up to you (or your DH) to make it happen.

I say this as the daughter of a mum who basically told us to organise her 60th and then got all snippy and arsey about it, causing me literally months of anxiety culminating in one of the most difficult evenings of my life.

I'll never ask anybody to organise a party for me now - I know what it's like to carry that responsibility.

But I think it's lovely when the birthday-ee suggests what they'd like to do. I went up Ben Nevis last year to celebrate a friend's 40th, it was fantastic. Whatever you do, relax and enjoy it. Have fun!