In not being bothered one tiny bit that my uncle dropped dead today?

[itchyandscratchy]

My dad rang this afternoon. His sister-in-law had run into his house (they live kind of next door but it's more like 2 plots of land, not bang next door) hysterical because my uncle was lying motionless in his shed.

My dad went to see and it was obvious he was dead. It was the first time my dad had spoken to my aunt for 5 years. He helped her into the house and rang 999 and stayed with her until the doctor, police and paramedics arrived then came home and rang me.

He was in shock a bit but generally ok. We both agreed that we're not that bothered, which is a bit bad I spose if someone has just dropped dead but my uncle was a right wanker, and my dad's not a hypocrite. We mused for a bit then my dad made a banoffee pie and went home.

The only things I can think are a) I hope my dad doesn't have a delayed reaction b) isn't it terrible that you live your life in such a way that only your wife is upset when you die?

sorry you've got some shitty family issues as well MadameC

He sounds lovely - possibly as lovely as mine

Be nice to yourself, enjoy your DCs, and get you Dad over to cook more puddings

your

I can understand what you might be thinking. Mu uncle was an alcoholic and a v. difficult man. For some reason my dad still thought he was great even though I think most people saw through him. When he passed away I felt sad for my dad because of the grief he was feeling but I had no feelings towards my uncle.

Don't feel bad about it. I am sure most people have at least one relative they don't particularly care for. Keep an eye on your dad though. He may be experiencing all sorts of conflicting emotions.

i honestly dont think i would be bothered if my step dad dropped dead

YANBU

Since when do we have to justify posting?

I get this - bloke up the road carked and only his wife was arsed. If he was a divvy, now he's a dead divvy but we seem to be steeped in mystical oddness when it comes to death - shouldn't speak ill of them etc. Load of rubbish but we're 'conditioned'.

Agree. My dad said as much today.

Dh has just come home and said 'All that money-grabbing didn't get him very far in the end. Perhaps he'll be the richest man in the graveyard, though.'

I also think that when there are family feuds and fallouts, you need to ask yourself "How would I feel if this person dropped dead? Would I always regret not trying to make this work?" If the answer is no, then you shouldn't feel guilty.

I won't, but my dad might struggle a bit, given that he's a decent bloke. I hope he keeps my uncle's behaviour towards my mum (and his attitude towards me to some extent) in mind and can be pragmatic about it all.

I don't think you are BU at all. Strange though that your Aunt came to get your dad when a) they hadn't spoken for so long b) if there was any chance of saving him, it would have been quicker to just get an ambulance. What did she expect him to be able to do?

The fact that your dad makes banoffee pie speaks volumes (my favourite btw)

What is a load of money in comparison to a dad who is worth his weight in gold?

I always think like this: If you were to put a value on your dad (and his banoffee pie)how much would he be worth? £10000000trillion ?

Of course not! He's worth so much more. So your assets way outstrip a mere £750k.

Congratulations for having the waaaaaaay better deal

was about to post something or other then realised this thread is rather old so all a bit by the by now.