to suggest that PIL save their money?

[MamaHobgoblin]

...rather than continue to buy DS and their other grandchild the complete set of Steiff Beatrix Potter animals?

I just know this is going to get flamed...

Ok, before I sound completely brattish and ungrateful, DS is 13m. My niece is 17m. My PIL have to treat them absolutely alike, and therefore they get matching treats and presents. PIL are very generous, but don't actually have a lot of money to spare, as far as I can tell. We were up there for Easter, and after the babies were in bed, we parents were given two giftwrapped boxes each. (4 boxes) Each box contained a Steiff Beatrix Potter soft animal. Even before we'd taken them out to have a look, PIL said 'They're not toys!'. They said they were hoping to buy their DGC the whole set... They said they knew it was a bit early yet, because DS hasn't started looking at the books, but that when he was older, he'd probably like the Steiff animals in his room, but they weren't to be played with, because they were valuable collectables.

I'm not the sort of person who collects valuable teddies, dolls, etc for display (it freaks me out somewhat, and I think it's a shame to waste them, too) but I can appreciate that PIL think this would be a 'nice heirloom addition' to the nursery. (We don't have a nursery. We have a small box room for DS, full of his stuff and my knitting stash!) I mean, what are we meant to do with them? Put them in glass cases?

I had no real idea what they were worth, but just checking ebay, new ones are on sale for £140! I'm aghast - had no idea they'd spent so much already and want them to stop. If they want to spend so much, couldn't they put the money into their college funds or something?

I think there are a lot of issues at play here, not least their own social aspirations and rose-tinted ideas of what a 'nursery' should look like. But I honestly don't want DS to be given more of these. He's not going to be allowed to play with them, we don't have the space to display them (even if we wanted to and then not let him use them) and I don't really see the point. Plus, I'm horrified at the amount they cost. (unless PIL have discovered a black market in the things! ) We could sell them on ebay ourselves, but that looks grasping and PIL obviously set a lot of store by collecting them for their grandchildren.

What would you lot do?

You shouldn't say anything, your DH should though

I would ask them to store them at their house if you really don't have the room. I also try very hard to let PIL and my dad be grandparents and not interfere too much, as I would expect them to let me parent without being told how they think I should parent, iyswim? I hope that when I have GC I can do the things I look forward to, like give them all the nice food, and play the noisy/messy games and do the things I can't afford to do with my kids!! (because I'm too busy feeding them!)

Lauriefairycake Hmm, I'd hate to have done DS out of his birthright!

I do think storage is the main problem, though. We will move house (if we can...) if/when we have a second child, so there may be room for a 'special shelf' in future bedrooms, but there just isn't at the moment. Storing them at PIL's house might be an option, and later on it could be part of a visit there that they get to see their special soft toys.

We're not going to sell them/get rid of them without ever consulting DS/PIL - that was never an option. We'd ask PIL, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. I think we just hang onto them or ask PIL to keep them until DS is older, and ask him. And no, I have no idea what happens if we have a second child! Perhaps they'll have calmed down by then.

I am a granny and hate the idea of toys that cant be played with.I bought my dgc Winnie the Pooh Steiff toys in a QVC outlet much reduced in price and insisted that they were to play with.

YAB a little bit U as gifts aren't really just cash in another form, and it's not about their value. Perhaps your PIL want to share the Beatrix Potter stories and think that this is a way your DS will be more interested?

At least they're not Pierrot masks....

I do think YABU to be thinking ahead to selling them though...

I became quite adept at asking my dd's other grandparents to store unwanted bulky toys at their house 'for when we visit'... is that a possibility?

I hate collectables myself but lots of people do think that they are something to aspire to with children mainly as it's easier to find birthday presents etc. It does sound like that they have their best interests at heart thinking of heirlooms bu it's putting pressure on you to care for them in the meantime. No real advice but sympathises.

I am totally with you, OP You so ANBU. My mother used to buy collector's items for my nephew; they were stored on a shelf where he couldn't reach them. He begged and begged to play with them, occasionally my mom gave in sure enough, they got broken in seconds! I couldn't see the point. And Steiff things are so dear, the money could be spent so much more sensibly.

When your DS is grown up he won't see them as nice heirlooms, he'll want to flog them on Ebay and buy a car instead with the money (but don't say all that to your PILs).

Your DH needs to ask them nicely; they can put money in a bank account for your DS instead (or anything, really). If that really won't do, they should store the items at their house for you.

I don't think it is unreasonable to ask them not to spend so much money. My parents wanted to spend £800 on a wardrobe for DD who is 4. They can easily afford it but I think it is excessive and a waste of money when they could get an equally nice one for less than half the money. I told them that under no circumstances were they allowed to spend that much money (in a very nice way).

I honestly can't see the point in a collection of steiff toys (that you'll have to keep boxed so they don't fade and gather dust). It just seems really over the top and not very useful. DD's Great Granny buys her premium bonds for birthday and christmas pressies, for when DD is 18. Much more use really.