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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to wonder why people don't just buy a house they like?

29 replies

lingle · 13/04/2009 20:12

You go to someone's house for the first time; they inevitably make disparaging remarks about what the house was like before they bought it. They make it sound as though the architecture/decor were some ghastly aberration which it was important to correct.

Then you hear how stressful the building works were (whilst thinking "well, that's a self-made problem mate").

But the all-time low is still to come. You are yet to hear the rationale for choice of kitchen worksurfaces. What does it say about you if you decide against granite at the last moment? Nothing, my friend, nothing. All built-in kitchens look pretty much the same - sterile.

On one occasion, I was even shown a photo album detailing the renovation works step by ghastly step.

Renovation can be fun, even necessary. The same goes for taking a daily shower, but we wouldn't tell long stories about our choice of shower gel over dinner to virtual strangers, would we? No, we would not.

OP posts:
foxinsocks · 13/04/2009 20:13

long afternoon lingle?

KingCanuteIAm · 13/04/2009 20:16

At least they are not chatting about the sun/rain/snow or the contents of their LO last nappy.

Take pleasure in small mercies!

warthog · 13/04/2009 20:18

errr yes, some people don't have much in their lives...

lingle · 13/04/2009 20:19

Yes, fox! Otherwise lovely people who seem to have a blind spot about the significance of the kitchen renovation (ie none).

True Canute, true. Oh crikey the nappy thing would be even worse.

OP posts:
Sorrento · 13/04/2009 20:20

I blame property ladder, location location location and grand designs, all utterly tedious.
Am looking forward to watch repossession repossession repossession with all those twats that didn't fix faulty roofs and spent the whole time ignoring the experts whilst buying £30 a roll wallpaper to cover damp

bronze · 13/04/2009 20:23

Well in our case it was horrible decor. Woodchip and stripey and flowery shiny wallpaper all in one.
We bought that hous ethough because it had the space we needed and we could afford it. We're right at the bottom end of the market round here so there wasnt much room for compromise in other ways.

I might mention it because a lot of its still like it (cant afford to change it) and I really dont want people to think it was our choice. I dont go on though

BecauseImWoeufit · 13/04/2009 20:25

Our next door neighbours are now in year 5 of their renovations. Why they didn't buy a house they bloody liked I have no idea!

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 13/04/2009 20:27

I love renovating/decorating. This is different however from just being a twat who likes to tell people about it.

And making someone sit through a folder of photos of the works in progress is no different than 'look at my slide show of Marge and me in Spain'

Booooooooooring. Get some better friends.

nickytwotimes · 13/04/2009 20:28

We had to strip our house back to the stone walls it was so riddled with damp. We had terrible problems with our builders. We did a lot of the electrics/plumbing/building ourelves. It was a huge part of our lives at the time, so we did talk about it, but only to good friends.

Buying a house we liked was out of the question financially, so not an option.

I agree listening to others drone on about anything is boring, but we all do it. I do it now. I drone on about my toddler. It is hard not to really, when somethng, anything, takes over your life like that. I have frined swho love fashion/make up and these things seem inane and silly to me, but I humour them and they me.

Avoid it by not having dinner with 'virtual strangers'!

Quattrocento · 13/04/2009 20:29

We are in year 10 of renovations. I think we will be finished in two years. Bad form to bore people with it though.

As to why, well I made a classic mistake of seeing well-proportioned rooms in an ideal location, and thinking we could fix all the rest ...

It has been wearying and expensive.

nickytwotimes · 13/04/2009 20:29

and yes, as laurie says, being shown a photo albumn OF ANY SORT is piss boring.

Never do this.

chequersmate · 13/04/2009 20:29

"You go to someone's house for the first time; they inevitably make disparaging remarks about what the house was like before they bought it."

No, it's never happened to me. Not once.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 13/04/2009 20:31

lol at chequers

very, very dry

Quattrocento · 13/04/2009 20:31

I was privy to a group email of a friend's renovations. Complete with a set of 14 before-and-after photos. Barking.

StarlightMcEggzie · 13/04/2009 20:34

I don't talk to people about the work on our house but the mortgage company wouldn't lend us the money to buy a house we liked, so we had to get one we didn't and pay for it to become one we like.

honie · 13/04/2009 20:36

We've doubled the size of ours (or at least are in the process of) and have immense amounts of work to do in the very over neglected back garden. We couldn't afford our house in this area unless we build most of it ourselves, think 'one man and his wife' ;)

Kitchen worktops? I've just sourced a very good surface that replicates Granite with the strength of Corian, at less than £20 a sq metre.

We both work in the trade though, so it's what drives us both and is just what we do iyswim? Not sure about all the unskilled diy'ers though, seen some horror story stuff!

I think people mention it because they are a little embarressed by the work that needs doing, or proud of what they've done? People that bang on about their lo latest poo, or 3rd tooth etc are the one's that bug me, specially the blokes at work that do it assuming as I have proper (not man) boobs I care about their kids progress!!

katiestar · 13/04/2009 20:41

I am embarassed to say it now but I am actually really interested in house renovations and love looking round them and hearing all about them. Also love Grand Designs -gives me lots of creative ideas about what I could do with Kevin McCleod
my own house

lingle · 13/04/2009 20:45

I have no problem with people who love renovating.

I love playing the violin. I would not however expect someone to listen to a detailed account of my attempts to improve my bowing technique.

OP posts:
navyeyelasH · 13/04/2009 20:48

Honie - what is this amazing worksurface?

I'm also ashamed to say I love all things house renovation-y; possibly because I just bought my first home and I'm very very excited!

Sorry {grin]

lingle · 13/04/2009 20:52

In a funny way, Katiestar, I can understand this. Of course it's fun to put your stamp on a place.

It's the reeling out of the cliches. The sneering at the taste of the previous owners (they did not decorate this year. They are not timelords. Ipso fact their decorations will not be fashionable). The way they make it sound as though a perfectly functional kitchen "has" to be "ripped out" when everything works just fine. The frequent failure to acknowledge that they had a choice in buying a Victorian terrace rather than a duller new house in which everything worked

OP posts:
lingle · 13/04/2009 20:59

Yes, in fact, I am going to regroup and restate my argument.

  1. It is ok to renovate.
  2. It is ok to enjoy it.
  3. It is ok to chat about it with others who enjoy it.

It is not ok

  1. to sneer about existing decor and functional fixtures and fittings.
  2. to be so insecure that you feel a need to trap people in your hall telling that you will be changing the decor.
  3. To make your building story sound like some that "just happened" to you. In particular, to use the word "nightmare".
OP posts:
honie · 13/04/2009 21:02

Lingle, last post makes really good sense to me, why do people rip out perfect stuff saying it was essential, thats bull. Especially when they can't afford it and just didn't like previous peoples taste!

Navy, watch this space, I don't have the details at home, will post from work tomorrowf I get time!

honie · 13/04/2009 21:03

x post!

lingle · 13/04/2009 21:32

one last rant. The word "work". As in, "there's a lot of work to do".

If your chimney is blocked, you have to do work.

If the previous owners installed a working fireplace that is not to your taste, then changing it is, perhaps fun, perhaps disruptive, perhaps environmentally undesirable, perhaps indicative of a need to retain status by being fashionable.One thing it is Not is "Work". It is a hobby.

Am actually starting to feel better as am hoping to meet people who will fess up to loving decorating and acknowledging its frivolity.

OP posts:
ItsMargotBeaurEGGarde · 13/04/2009 21:38

Well I did this because I didn't people to think that I'd chosen to decorate the house entirely in primary colours.