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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in being crossed with my OH for not understanding why I am cross with him??

11 replies

Luce2006 · 13/04/2009 15:59

Here the story goes
I've been with my current partner for five years now and we have e 3 years old little boy.
He's from Newcastle and attended Uni there and even if he's been living in London for the past 8 years, he has no friends down here and he's still in contact with his friends from Uni. We had few conversations with me explaining to him that I appreciate him having a close relationship with his old friends but I would like for him to try and get along with my friends and his partners and to be more involved in my and our child's social life.
Anyway, one of his closest friend is a 30 years old woman. She's single, pretty and very open when it comes to friendships with male guys.
When DS was a baby we were invited to a wedding ( again, his friends from Uni). Now, during the reception she fed OH some cream off her finger and OH didn't bit and eyelid. I was a bit miffed but didn't say anything especially because we had already had various arguments about me having been forced to leave DS for three days with his parents when he was still a baby and been breastfed( but that's another story)
Last year OH, his best friend and her went on a rally around Europe for a week. I wasn't to keen about it because I have the impression that she likes him....I trust my OH but I don't trust her.
Few weeks ago we went away for a weekend with his friends from Uni and she was one of six who were there.
On the day we said our goodbyes, she lip kissed him and I was just lost for words. she then went to lip kissed OH's best friend who she knows has a crush on her ( but she doesn't want to have a relationship with him)
I waited until she left to open my mouth.
OH couldn't understand why I was crossed with him explaining that that's just the way she is and acts with her male friends.surprisedsurprisedsurprisedsurprised Now, I am not a very jealous woman but I think that the way she acts is just a no.no and what bothers me the most is the fact that OH sort of defended her

So, do you think that lip lissing men who are not single in front of their partners is an acceptable thing?
I would never do such a thing and honestly it would never cross my mind

I am just overreacting or I am right in being crossed with my OH and not being too confortable with him going on a rally this year with his best friend and this woman again?

OP posts:
nametaken · 13/04/2009 16:02

Had she been drinking on those 2 occasions?

BradfordMum · 13/04/2009 16:03

I'd be more annoyed if she lip kissed him while I wasn't there to be honest!

Luce2006 · 13/04/2009 16:06

on the first occasion yes, she had been drinking but not on the second occasion. She was sober.I just find it so disrespectful of her to lip kiss MY OH in front of me!

OP posts:
Mumcentreplus · 13/04/2009 16:09

She is taking liberties...very insecure woman

CreativeZen · 13/04/2009 16:11

I'm not sure why you are cross with your OH. You say you trust him. Even if she does make a move on him, it's doomed to failure, isn't it, because he would rebuff her. Or are you concerned that he wouldn't??

Mumcentreplus · 13/04/2009 16:16

that is too intimate I would actually talk to her about it tbh..

Mumcentreplus · 13/04/2009 16:21

I would be pissed @ my OH too..I don't know what other people do with their best Friends but I haven't lip kissed mine lately...does the OH lip kiss his male friends too?..I think NOT!

Nancy66 · 13/04/2009 16:23

"I am not a very jealous woman"

Oh yes you are !

bubblagirl · 13/04/2009 16:28

he chose you

if he wanted her he would and could of along time ago

dont compare yourself to her and make yourself feel insecure he obviously loves you and isnt afraid to be himself around you with his friends a peck on the lips is ok

my friends kiss me on the lips and i them in front of our partners no one has ever batted an eyelid we have no reason to

you shouldn't be jealous of her as i said he could have had her at any point but he got with you you have a child

i also dont see anything wrong with his friends its good to keep good friends my dp friends are not from round here and i have no problem with him seeing them i wouldnt stop seeing my friends for him

if you trusted him completely you wouldnt feel the way you do

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 13/04/2009 17:14

I'd be severely pissed off if she'd kissed my DH on the lips in front of me. I think if it happened again, then I'd say 'what the f*ck do you think you're doing?' even if it caused a scene.

Your DP may be trustworthy, but I'd have to question her intentions. It doesn't matter if it's 'just the way she is'. It's not appropriate, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable then your DP should stop this kind of behaviour.

ChippingIn · 13/04/2009 17:51

Well... my Ex had a friend like this.... they are now married with 3 kids... take from that what you will...

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