To think too much pressure is put on children to be the "ideal" weight?

[TheLadyEvenstar]

when i look back at ds1 he was huge at 22m old he was in 4-5 clothes and a size 12 shoe. he is not 10 1/2 and is in 11-12 clothes and a 5 shoe.

But why do so many people worry about weight let kids be kids and as long as they are not being hindered let their bodies grow how they are.

yep kids come in all shape nad sizes

ds1(14) always been tall hes now 6ft and size 11 shoe wears mens clothes

ds 2(2) was a sumo as toddler bu now is 5,5 and size 6 shoe and skinny as rake

DD1(6) is petite full stop size of most 3-4 yearolds and very slim

D3(4) is average size and build

I had two friends who had real hassle from HVs about those stupid percentile charts. One had a DD on the 2 % mark (both her and her DH are very slim themselves) DD is now 2.4 and a healthy weight and in 2 - 3 clothes. The other friend had a DD on the 98% and now has a 2.4 yr old DD the same size as all the other 2 yr olds in our group.

The HVs at our surgery were so awful to both of them, that they had to have home visits in the first year from the only nice HV (who hates those bloody charts) and was really supportive. The others used to bully them into stopping BF as they believed this was the cause. .

You've only got to look around you at the vast array of different shapes and sizes of people walking around to know that there is going to be a huge variety of kids also.

My DS is quite small for his age, but I'm sure that this will sort itself out in time as both DH and myself are taller than average.

I agree with you about big babies and even young toddlers, but if they haven't slimmed down by school age, it may be worthwhile to think about whether there's anything you can/should do to nudge them towards a healthier weight.

They should be in proportion. Height and weight should be in proportion!! Why? Because a fat child will more often than not grow into a fat adult, with all the health (and social and emotional) problems that brings.

It is far simpler to never allow a problem to develop, than to have it happen and then try to reverse it.

Or, if you're my mother, just let your kids get massivly fat as children and do bog all about it, release them into the wild as fat adults and then watch them try to reverse a lifetime's worth of bad eating habits and emotional ties to food all on their own, while claiming that you have no idea why they got so big because you were never brought up to eat so much.

It is unfair to children to not ensure they are within the 'ideal' weight range for their height while they are growing up. (disabilities aside - prada willie etc...)

Hmm, Hecate, do you have my mother?

Yes. Please take her back.

If you read literature from the 1900s to about the 1960s, babies are often described as 'deliciously plump', and pictures often show really very fat babies. And in fact a 'fat' baby was the ideal. But children were usually very lean. Which presumably says more about children's lifestyles than about fat babies growing into fat children and then into fat adults. Children played outside, walked everywhere, climbed trees etc.

Last year I implemented a 'no tv during the week' rule, which my kids were initially a bit about, but quickly realised that this meant they had so much more time, and their activity levels soared. HOURS spent in the garden, riding scooters up and down the road etc. We don't have any games systems or anything like that, but I'm sure TV and nintendo ds' etc are a huge reason for the weight problems in children.

I don't think HVs poring over the charts and worrying about b/fed babies is the solution - more likely will worry parents!

My kids;
Ds1 - born 9lb12oz - 98th centile, by age 1 was between 9th and 25th centile, has followed that curve - is now nearly 8, just under average height, weighs 3stone8 (don't know what that is centile wise), shoe size 1.

Dd - born 10lb0 - 99.9th centile, has stayed high on the centiles, is now 5.5, about 75th centile for height and weight, shoe size 11

Ds2 - born 10lb2, 99.9th centile, dropped dramatically and then crawled along the 2nd centile. Is still fairly tiny, but a stockier child than ds1 - probably weighs about the same as ds1 did at this age (nearly 3), but he is shorter, so doesn't look so skinny as ds1 did (he is a skin and bone rake). Shoe size 5.

Oh yes, babies were HUGE back then!

But like you say - lifestyle. Kids played out all the time, walked everywhere, were so active all the time that they burned it all off.

But since that doesn't happen nowadays, parents must take action to ensure that their children have the correct balance (calories in/energy out) for todays lifestyles.

Have a look at this page for magazine paintings of babies from the 1930s. I'm convinced lots of the HVs would be on the backs of those parents now!!!

Hecate, that is true, and I do agree, parents need to 'enforce' the activity somewhat. But if a baby is big, a HV will typically say something like 'cut down on the milk feeds' (a young baby can't increase activity(!!!) ), which makes the whole 'lifestyle' one of cutting down and dieting, which generally makes people fatter!!! And actually, it would be better (imo) to say 'don't worry about it, babies are naturally plump and rolypoly, if you're still worried when they're running around then take them to the park lots'.

Theres an easy way out it. Don't have dealings with the HV. Dont feed them crap and make them do stuff.

Hecate and llaregub, I think we are long lost sisters! My mum is a slim person who uses food as a means of showing love. I was fat as a child/young adult and consequently i was bullied at school - that sort of thing never really leaves you . Not thin now either but hey...

My mum too, denies any responsibility for me being fat as a child. We had cakes/biscuits/sweets/fizzy drinks on tap and thrust in our face in our house - it would have been so simple for her to simply not buy the bloody things but that would have been "unfair" (Unfair to whom, mum?)

I am very anxious that neither of my sons is fat because I bloody well know what fat children go through. Luckily, they are showing signs of taking after their Dad who's very slim. But I limit sweets and sweet things, don't have biscuits or cakes in the house, don't routinely offer desserts. Today, for example, DS1 has got one small Smarties egg - my mum would have given us as least 3 big ones. DS1 likes sweets and sugary foods as much as the next child but he's aware (because I have told him) that such foods are bad for your teeth and are unhealthy. (I dont tell him they make you fat btw).

When DS1 stays overnight at his grandma's house, he's given sweets etc but I tolerate it because it's only once a week.

DS1 is currently on a wheatfree diet (on HCP advice, helps with his constant colds/coughs), my mum's reaction when I told her he wasnt allowed bread/cakes etc was "Oh, that's so awful" in a truly shocked, highpitched voice. I said, no mum, kids dying in Sudan is awful....

Just seen those photos of those 1930s babies - I think they look OK. I don't think people should get hung up on a "big" baby who's fed only milk. But they should worry about an overweight toddler who's chugging down fizzy drinks/chocolate/cakes and sweets and who spends hours in front of Cbeebies.

Very cute pics

hv would indeed be on their backs nowadays which I think is stupid because babies carry fat in order to grow and delvelop!

But back then, you had your chubby baby and that's fine but EVERY child, once walking (running) about, slimmed down into a lean whippet, so it was normal, expected, not a problem. chubby baby was a healhy baby, nothing to worry about because they needed it to grow and develop and then they slimmed down!

now though, cubby baby, fine, cute. chubby toddler, still not a problem, they get going they get lean! but obese, waddling 3 yr old (and I highlight obese as opposed to chubby!) will not (generally) slim down. They become an obese 5 yr old. and then an obese 10 yr old....we don't lead the lives that allow for the natural slimming down that used to happen. So we must change and stop it from happening.

I agree 100% that the reason is exercise. I read that we confume fewer calories than we did in the, say 40's, certainly less fat! But we are getting fatter and fatter because we lead such sedentary lifestyles in comparison!

my ds2 was a very big baby/toddler. was average 7lb at birth but balloned and was wearing 18mth clothes at 6 months, you would definatly say he was obese... he's now 9 and tbh i dont think he's much heaver now..... hes just got taller....as if hes been stretched out. hes very thin now, doesnt matter how much he eats or what he eats he just cant put weight on..... he just gets taller!.

I think that some children are just greedier than others and will be fat given the chance. It's up to us as parents not to give them the chance.

I have a friend in RL who has a DS who's 4. My friend stresses because her DS is very chubby and is always on the scrounge for biscuits/chocolate. If you give him one biscuit, he has a tantrum afterwards because he wants another one. TBH, if I were my friend, I wouldnt have biscuits in the house if the first place - if he's hungry, he should have fruit.

(sorry, don't mean to be horrible about my friend's little boy, he's a cutie really)

If you look on my profile you will see 2 photos of ds1 one when he was around 22m old and the other i think he was about 4 or 5 and was chubby still. but then if you scroll down you will see him in June last year and see how skinny he is now. So fat baby does not mean fat child. I just think there is too much pressure put on parents and children regarding weight.

Can I just point out that the thread title should not say "children" when nearly everyone on here is talking about plump under 2s (which are all babies imho, anyway).

Coz I think most of us can think of parents who are in denial about their too fat school age dc, but that's quite different from a chubby 1-23 month old. Some people do need reality checks.

Okay, I've vented, as you were.

I just think there is too much pressure on children as well. My friends dd is 11 and is a size 12-14 in adults clothes she is not tall or particularly short just about average i would say. Now she does not eat a lot at all and is always running around yet the weight still piles on. I feel sorry for her as she is always being told she needs to lose weight. But nothing seems to work with her. there is no reason for it at all.

However her mum and nan are not small people either....

She will either slim down or not. When I was 12-16 I was a 14-16 in clothes. I slimmed down at the age of 17 to a size 8 and i hated it. I am now 34yrs old and am a 12 don't diet, don't watch what i eat, the only exercise i get it walking to the bus stop or on odd times i walk to ds1 school. my sister was the opposite she was a size 10 until she was around 21 and is now a 16-18 yes she diets, exercises loses it all and then bang it all comes back.

All my 4 babies were really ,really skinny (taking after DH as a baby)
The youngest is now 4.5 and weighs 12-13 kg putting her on the 0.4th centile for weight but the 25th for height.They don't seem at all concerned about underweight children ?

This is why HCPs are looking at obesity across the board - not just dcs.

"Obesity is one of the biggest health challenges we face. The Government is committed to taking action to reverse the rising tide of obesity. Almost 1 in 4 adults in England are currently obese, and if we carry on as we are by 2050, 9 in 10 adults will be overweight or obese. The cost of overweight and obese individuals to the NHS is estimated to be £4.2 billion and is forecasted to more than double by 2050. The cost to the wider economy is £16 billion, and this is predicted to rise to £50 billion per year by 2050 if left unchecked."

As a nation we are eating ourselves into an early grave

Hmmm

I do understand the concerns, but ....

My dd's have all been very big/fat babies and very big/fat toddlers (dd3 is still a little chubster at 21mo).

Both my older dd's have slimmed out. Dd1 is super slim and has gone from 91st centile for weight and height, to 25th for weight (am unsure as to her height but I would say she's just under ave). She is 9.

Dd2 has always been between 91st and 98th for weight and 25th for height. She is 6 and has slimmed out tremendously in the last year and is now 50th for weight and I suspect still 25th for height. She still looks chunky because she's fairly small. She isn't fat. There is a difference.

I was a small baby. I was a small toddler. I was a skinny child. I am an overweight adult.
My sister was an average size baby. She was a large toddler. She was a chunky child. She is a very slim adult.

Go figure.

Should add that my children have healthy balanced diets. Always have.

And I am the reason that I am overweight. I know that.

Oh I so agree

Mine are on the skinny side, after dh's family. They ahve seen aeds as babies etc, each time the same.

however they are in an LEA where healthy eating ed is biiig news: too much so. Combined with his ASD, ds1 is being seen for anorexia. At nine. .

I think we caught it early so waht cold be a fatal disese will be heled and there's quite a bit of support in place (from sources associated with ASD) but-

ffs!

(I think I deserve a swear on that one)