..to think that DH shouldn't have taken a book when in sole charge of DS and DD at a theme park today??

[Merrylegs]

So DH has taken DS (11) and DD (8) to a theme park. He was the best person for the job as I get sick sitting on a swing and so it should be much more fun with daddy, right?

(I am ferrying older DS around today for various sporting activities, so am not even having a child free day. Plus a dog to walk. I digress)

In his bag DH has raincoats (good), packed lunch (good) and Robert Peston's 'Who Rules Britain?'

I gave him a kind of look and said 'when are you planning to read that then? A couple of chapters on top of 'Wipeout' perchance?

Or are you going to find a grassy knoll inbetwixt the burger vans and tell DS and DD to 'go and have fun and make sure you're back in an hour'.

To which his reply was 'don't micro-manage me'.

SO AIBU to think that he shouldn't need to take a book with him when he is sole charge of two small and skinny children (ie who could easily slip through seatbelts or out of bumper cars for eg) in a crowded theme park?

I can't figure out what is irking me most - the fact he thinks he will get a chance to read it; the fact that, in typical bloke fashion, he was thinking about his needs too and not just the kids; or actually the fact that blardy Robert Peston is so ubiquitous anyway, why would anyone want to spend more time in his company?

lol, i would just let him get on with it. we both know he won't get a change to read it. let him find it out by himself

My DH would SO do that too. And I don't think YABU at all, but can totally empathise.

YABVU and micro-managing and very annoying wife

I always take a book out with me and my children are 3 and 6

Unless you are Flat Stanley's mother then fretting about them slipping through seatbelts is a bit... odd. And I'm not sure how him WATCHING that happen would help, really.

Let him parent as he sees fit! I was off whittling sticks and making fire at that age anyway

I agree with your DH. You are trying to micro-manage him, admit it! I think you may be transferring your fear of theme parks onto him. His day, his call. YABU

yabu. they are old enough (bar SN) not to need that level of attention.

YABU. I take a book everywhere, so what? Doesn't mean I'll always have a chance to read it. You are being a bit bossy, does it really matter?

Also, rifling through your DH's BAG to check he's got it right is REALLY ANNOYING BEHAVIOUR

I always take a book with me (quite often it is a course related textbook- but hey, its a book)

I dont see a problem with it.

I think you should let it go. He probably won't have a chance to read it, as you say, but if he wants to carry it around then let him. Your children are 11 and 8 so they'll be fine, and the ride attendants won't let them go on anything they're not big enough for. I think if you can't trust a man to look after children then perhaps the best time to have considered this was before you had children with him.

If anything does happen to one of the children though you would not BU to say "I told you so".

Hah! Actually my kids are very flat - DS especially.

I think I was mostly irked because they are were very excited to be going with dad and I thought he should be sharing the experience, not hunkering down by the chip van and catching up with Peston's theories.

Flat Stanley [snigger]

YAB a bit U as morning paper has said.

Saying that my dp always makes sure he has at least 3 books stuffed into his bag and when I query it because I know he will never get a chance to read them he will insist that he will - its a form of totally harmless wishful thinking isnt it.

I think its better than me not taking anything - as soon as I get 2 mins to myself I switch off like some sort of cyborg just staring into the middle distance.

Ha ha, that's so like my DH. I have to nag him not to read the paper when we're having lunch together at the table on a Saturday - almost the only meal we all eat together (he works long hours). I can so relate to your post - being annoyed by him putting his needs first.

On an amateur psychology note: did your own father have a tendency to ignore you with his nose in a book/newspaper? Maybe that's why it's pushing your buttons??

YANBU. If he was going for a day out on his own it would be fine. In any close company it's just rude.

YANBU at 11 and 8 he should be watching them and having fun with them - not reading - at a busy theme park (had you said soft play/local park I would have said YABU), mind you, if it's somewhere they go all the time and know the place well, then YAB a little bit U.

If the parent taking them out for the day isn't the one who normally does most of the childcare, then checking to see they have all they need isn't a bad thing surely??

I would always want to take something to read when taking children out. Just talking to them all day is a bit boring. You need some breaks and time to do something that you want. Not that I would ever take a child to one of those dreadful places - hell on earth.

Ah yes, the 'rifling through the bag' thing. He had packed a can of coke. DD wanted water and DH had already gone to the car, but Bag was on the table. So I filled the water bottle and put it in the bag and it was then I saw The Book...

I think if I had spare room in a bag and I was going somewhere active -(ie not the beach!) I would probably add another bottle of water or some opal fruits or perhaps a PSP for the kids car journey?

It's the Easter hols and this is a proper theme park with wrist bands and big rides, not the local park. We go maybe once a year.

Liking the psychology angle, flimmflamm. In fact it is DH's dad who is an insular depressive with no interest in anything but himself. In fact DH often says "I have long ago mourned the lack of a father' so yes, perhaps seeing DH potentially disengaging from his own kids may have set off an alarm bell. Interesting.

Whereas my dad was always setting up treasure hunts or little quizzes for us on days out - so perhaps my expectations are very high.

AHA you see it is all Freudian

that'll be £50 please

No no MP - my £50 goes to Flimflam. You called me 'bossy' and 'very annoying'. I owe you nothing.

(but I will give you a passive/aggressive if you like.)

Blimey, these AIBUs are quite catharthic aren't they? I should try them more often.

Ahh it's all over now, we can strip off and get in the jacuzzi together

So did your DH get a couple of stickers on his sticker chart for the coats and drinks, or just a one for him having the temerity of putting his book in his bag?

Or to put it another way, when are you going to start treating him like an equal parent and adult, rather than infantilising him and automatically assuming that just because he does something different to you, it's automatically wrong?

I nearly always take a book with me everywhere, and when I don't I usually regret it!

YABU they are 8 and 11, not 2 and 3.

I often take a book, but never get a chance to read it.

BTW, if my dh called me on it, I would find a chance to read it just out of spite.

What snorbs said. To the power of 10!

you have no right to dictate how he manages the day out.
YABU