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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think insulting people is not the best sales technique

23 replies

mamhaf · 10/04/2009 19:43

I went shopping for a sports bra today - my current ones are looking decidedly grey.

I bought non-sports bras a few weeks ago in M&S and I then was fitted with some very nice 34DDs - I'm fairly well endowed which has always made me popular with the boys but is actually a PITA when I'm trying to buy blouses and jackets.

Anyway, in today's shop (not M&S), they had 32DDs and 34Es. There was a 34E which fitted me ok-ish, but it was a white bra with black straps which would've shown up under my white sports tops.

I think it's probably a sign of the times that shops are desperate to sell, but when I walked out and handed back the ones I'd tried as unsuitable, the assitant pursued me, offering to properly fit me as - with the persuasive line: "you look more like a 34F to me".

She said this several times, following me out of the changing area where various people were standing around - bored dhs, kids etc.

Thanks a bunch - I don't need to be told my boobs are bigger than they really are, or at least bigger than I think they are!

OP posts:

MuffinBaker · 10/04/2009 19:44

Ronaldinhio · 10/04/2009 19:48

YABU this doesn't make any sense as you said she didn't have any stock available in the size she was saying you were

perhaps she felt that you were obviously wearing the wrong bra?

perhaps she was bored out of her brain?

Don't see what was insulting though....

LuluisgoingtobeanAunty · 10/04/2009 19:51

a lot of women wear the wrong sized bra

a well trained and experienced bra fitter cna tell your size by looking at you

i thikn you have taken it the wrong way

she was trying to ensrue you got a bra in the right size

which is her job

Original poster

mamhaf · 10/04/2009 19:53

Announcing what she thought my bra size was to a small audience wasn't exactly the most persuasive way of trying to sell me a bra - that's what I found insulting.

OP posts:

Original poster

mamhaf · 10/04/2009 19:55

She probably did have some stock in the size she reckoned I was (34F) - I'd tried a 34E which was an ok-ish fit but not a good style because it had black straps.

I felt a bit sorry for her -she was clearly desperate to make a sale - but by that stage I was thinking "I'll try M&S instead".

OP posts:

BitOfFunnyBunny · 10/04/2009 19:59

I can see that you felt embarrassed and cross, but you have to remember that the fitters deal with boobs day in day out, and were just being practical and matter-of-fact. If they'd said "You look terrible in that bra", I could accept it was insulting, but unless you feel that big=bad, purely assessing your size is not at all offensive IMO.

Anyway, good luck with finding a great bra!

BitOfFunnyBunny · 10/04/2009 20:03

Oh, and not trying to needle you or anything, but M&S are notoriously poor at bra fitting. I know the bra you are talking about I think- Huit Salon Privé, yes?

Original poster

mamhaf · 10/04/2009 20:05

Big = PITA to me - it really is difficult to get clothes that fit ok. So I don't want to be told I'm bigger than I am, even if that's what she thinks.

The bra I'm wearing (a 34DD) was fitted when I bought it a few weeks ago, so if she was implying it was the wrong size, I'm just as insulted! Not a big deal, but I suspect she's not going to hang onto her job very long if she doesn't refine her sales technique.

OP posts:

Ronaldinhio · 10/04/2009 20:11

meh,

thisisyesterday · 10/04/2009 20:12

agree that m&s are notoriously bad at fitting bras.
they told me I was some ridiculous size and tried to sell me soemthing that obv didn't fit (it was a 36DD I think)
went to Rigby and Peller who took a good look and fitted me beautifully with a 32H!!

just because YOU think that having big boobs is bad, doesn't mean everyone does. so, she wasn't really insulting you, you were just sensitive to the fact that she thought you needed a bigger bra.

she can't help it if you have issues with your breast size can she? she only wanted to get you a bra that fitted. but hey, go back to m&s if that's what you prefer

Gentle · 10/04/2009 20:13

Not sure what your complaint is, but think YABU. You were in a place for bra fittings, although following you out of the changing room is a bizarre touch.

I thought I was 38C for years but when a lovely woman in Bravissimo told me I looked more like a 34E I wanted her to print me a t-shirt about the fact.

(I was a late developer, can you tell?)

BitOfFunnyBunny · 10/04/2009 20:16

Plus, an F cup can be just the same size as a double D: it depends on your band size, which may well be wrong if M&S fitted you. The figleaves site has a great section on it called "fitting room" I think, which explains it all. F does not necessarily mean humungous tits, not at all.

pginthecloset · 10/04/2009 20:16

I can't see in what what she was insulting

MuffinBaker · 10/04/2009 20:16

being told you are bigger than you think is going to help you surely, as a proper fitting bra will make your clothes fit and look better.

beanieb · 10/04/2009 20:17

at 'popular with the boys but is actually a PITA'

PinkTulips · 10/04/2009 21:08

speaking as someone who thought she was a DD but is actually an F/G and who is now wearing for the first time in years a bra that fits properly (thanks to MN) i'd say she might have a point, 34DD isn't a huge size bust so if you're big enough that getting tops to fit is difficult i'd imagine you're alot bigger tbh.

when i was a DD cup (2 kids ago) i still fit a size 10 top, and size 10 blouses didn't gape too much. now they're an F/G i'm usually a 12.

that said, my mentality is more like gentle's..... i'm delighted i'm a bigger size, i love having big boobs and thinking of my F cup bras makes me grin from ear to ear (can you tell i had dinky little boobs for years til i had kids?)

kormachameleon · 10/04/2009 21:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 11/04/2009 19:27

agree with pink tulips. As I mentioned, I am a 32h and size 12 or 14 tops fit me fine, so it really isn't that humungous!

MadamDeathstare · 12/04/2009 05:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chefswife · 12/04/2009 05:49

once you get past DD it depends on the brand of bra what fits. i have two brands i buy and one i wear 34DD the other is E.

i don't think she was insulting you, just it was perhaps a little tackless if she was broadcasting your size as loud as you say she did. i reckon though none of the bored DH's really cared or even heard for that matter. it does sound a wee bit pissy on your part... if she wasn't doing her job perhaps your post would have asked "aibu for expecting help from the sales staff when it was clear i was struggling to find a bra that fits?"

memoo · 12/04/2009 09:09

i'd loved to be DD, trying being a 34H.

There is only one shop in the whole of my town that sells bras big enough to fit me and shopping for tops is an absolute nightmare!

edam · 12/04/2009 09:44

Agree with everyone who has pointed out that M&S are not known for accuracy in fitting bras.

Saleswoman was tactless talking about your bra size in front of other people, but your perception that an F cup is somehow insulting is your problem, not hers. IF any men overheard and gave a toss (unlikely) they will have been impressed!

Try a couple of other shops - Bravissimo if you live near one - and check whether they think you are 34E or not. (And remember that different brands come up slightly differently so even if you are 34E in Figleaves, you may be 32DD in another make - you have to try them on.)

katiestar · 12/04/2009 14:33

YANBU I wouldn't like it either !

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