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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To mete sweet revenge on the dog poo pirate?

25 replies

Steamrunner · 10/04/2009 14:31

I was oot for a walk today with my 20 month old son and our two dogs. We regularly walk along a public path beside a lovely pond just out of town where there is a poo bin on account of how there are lots of people who walk thier dogs down the aforementioned path. So we're all walky along nicey nicey and then there is a fella up ahead walking a huge pulsating blubbey mound of black labrador that's about the same size as a mini metro. Dog craps out what can only be described as a "small mountain of eggs" right in the middle of the path. Fella (about mebbe 45 years old) ignores this festering pile of faeces and walks on. With him being well within earshot I shout "How, marra is thou gonna pick up that shite thy dug's left?" (I revert back to my roots and become a council-estate child when i'm pissed off.) Fellow mutters something to me and carries on walking.
At that point, my son, who is 20 months old, steps in the pile o' poo. And I see red. I grab a poo bag from my utility vest (long story, I have a medical condition requiring I carry lots of...stuff) grab a handful of the shit, run up to the fella and rub the cack all over his coat. Naturally chappie is quite irate at this and harsh language and pushing ensues. This culminates in angry shite-monger taking a swing at justifiably furious father. Utilising a self defence technique I learned at self denfense class, I avoid the blow, and restrain angry chap until he calms down. This took quite some time as I was calling him names and abusing him for being dirty and suchlike. Eventually I left him go with a clip around the ear and told him to be more considerate in future.
So was I behaving unreasonably when i gave him a taste of his own medicine?
It should be noted that my 20 month old son did not see ANY of this becuase he was blindfolded at the time due to a medical procedure he's had done earlier in the week.

OP posts:
mrsmaidamess · 10/04/2009 14:33

Lol. Very good. But could you paragraph it next time?

screamingabdab · 10/04/2009 14:36

Hahaha.

This is an urban/suburban/country myth, right?

Mt friend told me that a friend of hers had done this very thing in our local park a few months ago,

screamingabdab · 10/04/2009 14:37

sorry, that was MY friend (not mt friend)

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 10/04/2009 14:39

PMSL

Steamrunner · 10/04/2009 14:48

It's true. ALl of it is true. I can email you pics of my 20 month old son's shitty shoe if you like

OP posts:
Steamrunner · 10/04/2009 14:49

Shiity meaning it had shit on it, not cause it is of low quality, obviously. There's NOTHING wrong with ALDI shoes.

OP posts:
Nancy66 · 10/04/2009 14:52

I thoroughly approve of any dog shit based revenge.

I've put it through my neighbour's letterbox before.

screamingabdab · 10/04/2009 14:54

Steamrunner I'll take your word for it!

purpleduck · 10/04/2009 15:00

...

mrsmaidamess · 10/04/2009 15:11

How did your child walk wearing a blindfold?

harleyd · 10/04/2009 15:13

well, it explains how he stood in the poo...tho i always manage to stand in it with no blindfold on

mrsmaidamess · 10/04/2009 15:14

I can't imagine a 20 mth old stumbling along a country path wearing a blindfold.

BonzoDoodah · 10/04/2009 15:15

Go steamrunner go! Serves the shoitman and stinkhound right. I get sick of it. I was walking along a river near Wilmslow (very posh) following a really well-spoken couple and their monster hound. It did the same thing - a massive mound of dooings and they left it right in the middle of the path. So I yelled about it and told them to clear up their filth ... (lots of people about here). Them umm-ed and err-ed saying they didn't have a bag (who doesn't when they walk a dog FFS??). So I pulled a sainsbury's bag out of my pocket and then stood guard while they cleaned the mess up. Hurray! (Fortunately it was a busy day and lots and lots of posh people about so they didn't cause a scene.)

So, although I think you were a bit extreme, I agree with your sentiment.

Steamrunner · 10/04/2009 15:19

Mrs Maid:
He walked in the normal, one foot in front of the other and repeat kind of way. You can simulate this by walking normally and then closing your eyes if, of course you don't have a blindfold.
But I bet you do, you naughty minx, you

OP posts:
mrsmaidamess · 10/04/2009 16:02
Hmm
gonaenodaethat · 10/04/2009 16:07

YANBU or extreme.

I have commissioned a sniper to sit on my roof to deal with these shit leaving individuals.

MadamDeathstare · 10/04/2009 16:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare · 10/04/2009 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gavel · 10/04/2009 16:18

Steamrunner I admire your retraint.

I would have shot him.

Shitemum · 10/04/2009 16:19

I collected all the shit in our street in a bag and hung it on my un-civic neighbour's doorknob. Now she always cleans up after her dog.

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 10/04/2009 18:43

You mean you didn't make him eat it? tut tut.

troutpout · 10/04/2009 19:07

Next time add a few guns and a knife to that utility belt of yours...slick up your chest ...headband...and a stripe across your face.
Then come to cheshire and take em out ( i have 3 piles of shite outside mine and my neighbours house at this very moment)

I'm with you!

theherbgarden · 10/04/2009 19:15

have often toy with a similiar ideal. You deserve an award lol!

KimiWantsAnEasterEgg · 10/04/2009 19:19

I'm loving it

catinthehat1 · 10/04/2009 19:51

I knew I'd seen you around before! This was you at my book club before you had your son.. You really upset that man you know, he's entitled to read Dickens if he wants. Not everyone has to like Jane Austen.

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