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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have felt a bit looked down on yesterday?

27 replies

MeltedEasterEgg · 09/04/2009 09:23

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive.

But yesterday I took my children down to see my grandad. My auntie came a bit later on and started saying about how she needed to go to the social security building to sort out some papers. She then started saying "I didn't know where it was, I've never been on dole!" and my grandads wife laughed and said "Ha, are you a "doley" now??" and my auntie replied "urgh god no, they asked me if I wanted to claim anything and I said 'no chance', I've never had handouts and I don't intend to start now"

and basically they went on and on about being on "dole" and talked about it as if people that receive benefits are scum of the earth. All the time, I'm sat there and they know full well that I'm on income support so that made me feel like shit.

Then, a bit later on my grandad's wife noted that my DS had a hole in his sock (I hadn't noticed) and they all started going on about it and my grandad said "bloody hell, you can get big packs of socks in asda for £4, don't you get them?" etc as if I was dressing the kids as paupers etc. It was a hole in ONE SOCK.

And then, when the kids started getting bored and winding each other up they all started going on about how if you have no control over 8 and 10 year olds, you'll not manage when they're teens and that I should start as I mean to go on etc etc. My auntie then started going on about how well behaved her son's kids are.
I know full well it was all aimed at me and the kids but they were not even playing up. Just we'd been there since 10am, it was getting on for 1pm and they had nothing at all to do other than sit on the floor. No TV on or anything! of course they're going to get bored.

And then to top it off, my grandad asked how I'd got there, I said a friend had dropped us off and he said "didn't think you had any friends" and they all started laughing.

Am I being sensitive and paranoid or were they getting at me a bit yesterday?

OP posts:
PullMyFinger · 09/04/2009 09:26

No you are not being sensitive and paranoid, they were being mean and thoughtless

BeatrixRotter · 09/04/2009 09:28

I wouldn't go again if that is how they treat you. YANBU

LynetteScavo · 09/04/2009 09:29

Most of it I would put down to grumpy ignorant relatives - there are a few on DH's side of the family.

"And then to top it off, my grandad asked how I'd got there, I said a friend had dropped us off and he said "didn't think you had any friends" and they all started laughing." - This is just nasty - no need for it. I take it you wont be visiting again in the near future.

PuppyMonkey · 09/04/2009 09:30

Sound slike a bloody good reason to not go visitng them again for a while.

Original poster
MeltedEasterEgg · 09/04/2009 09:32

They're like this all the time and when I react badly they make out that I can't take a joke and I'm miserable.

Last year I mentioned that we were hoping to go to Florida (I was working then) and my grandad's wife burst out laughing and said "You?? the only way you'll get that kind of money is by working the streets!" and they all started laughing.

OP posts:
Gorionine · 09/04/2009 09:34

I would have felt exactly like you. YA definitely not BU and they are either very mean or very thoughtless. How is your reationship with them usually? Was that a one off?

Gorionine · 09/04/2009 09:34

x poted!

DaisyMooSteiner · 09/04/2009 09:38

They sound charming! YANBU and I'd probably avoid going to see them tbh.

Gorionine · 09/04/2009 09:40

I am ed @ your grandad's wife! I am not violent but I think I would have slapped her!

Please do not let them carry on treating you that way! Either tell them that they ARE offensive or avoid them.

I would be tempted to use their weaknesses (meant as things they are less happy about) as a weapon too and see how THEY enjoy it!

salt101 · 09/04/2009 09:49

YANBU
Do you visit alot? Do you have to go?
That's not fair to make you feel bad.

They sound like a bunch of frustrated and bored bullies who think it's 'fun' to put you down. Don't have it.

you are better than that

sarah293 · 09/04/2009 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bumpybecky · 09/04/2009 10:45

YANBU

they sound awful I wouldn't be visiting again in a hurry

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 09/04/2009 10:49

bloody hell, they sound vile! Would be my last visit if I went to people who treated me like that!

namechangerforareason · 09/04/2009 10:53

bunch.of.fannies

end of!

Dont take their shit next time, just retort with whatever you can think of, how dare they be so rude, especially with young kids there?

YANBU whatsoever!

Your so much better than them and dont forget it!

(hugs)

x

nametaken · 09/04/2009 10:54

YANBU - it's simple really, don't go there anymore.

KingRolo · 09/04/2009 10:56

Nasty, nasty people. Yanbu at all to be upset.

Don't visit again. If they are upsetting you they will be upsetting your kids too and that is so not on.

LackaDAISYcal · 09/04/2009 10:56

what a vile bunch

you are definately not being unreasonable.

I'd avoid them at all costs unless it's absolutely necessary. There's no excuse for being so vile and cruel.

brettgirl2 · 09/04/2009 12:40

It's interesting vile was exactly the word I was thinking of - lacka seems to have beaten me to it.

How DARE they treat you like that?

SubRosa · 09/04/2009 13:05

It sounds like bullying. Making stupid jokes or comments at your expense and then blaming you for not laughing. They're nasty, twisted people and you're better off avoiding them.

claireybeeinmyeasterbonnet · 09/04/2009 13:09

How rude
They sound awful, poor you

OrmIrian · 09/04/2009 13:11

Horrible people!

Pinkjenny · 09/04/2009 13:12

YANBU

Stay away. Beasts!

totalmisfit · 09/04/2009 13:18

They sound plain nasty.

Don't go there again, who cares if you're related to them? Since when did being related to someone give them the right to talk to you like shit?

Cut them out and find some pleasant people to spend your precious time with. life is too bloody short for putting up with vicious attacks from horrible people.

5Foot5 · 09/04/2009 13:19

They all sound selfish, rude and very bad mannered.

I would be tempted not to go again and if anyone in the family asks why say that you think their behaviour is setting a bad example to your children so you would rather keep them away.

allthoseeggsaremine · 09/04/2009 15:22

It sounds like they were really horrible to you

I'm afraid i would have probably answered each of their comments with a sarcastic one of my own......not very mature but would have made me feel better.

Do you normally stand up for yourself or are they used to being able to say this sort of stuff and get away with it?